Is there any hope at all for a decent & shy guy to find someone?

Question

I'm 32, have an ok job, graduated college, all of which gives me "nice guy" (ie loser) status with women, and to make things worse I'm shy. These two together are pretty much the kiss-of-death relationship wise. Women seem to have little to no interest in guy who are decent or shy. Criminal types or obnoxious loud-mouths are greatly preferred.

Short of transforming myself into a semi-retarded thug do I have any hope at all?

Answer 1

No, All women claim to want a nice guy but they all fall for the Ar*e H*les types. They'll never admit that though..

Answer 2

I come from La. You can not meet anyone more phony than an los angelino.The fact that I met a WONDERFUL MAN is amazing! My husband is a great guy. He's not flashy. He dosen't walk around with his pants hanging off and dosent speak with a speech impediment. He dosen't act like he's the mack daddy, god's gift to woman. He dosen't have a criminal record. He dosen't hit me or make me feel any less of a woman. I didnt marry some push over but his mother taught him correct and taught him to respect woman. You are looking for the wrong woman. You are looking for the woman who wants to be beat. Who wants to be humiliated. Who wants her man to control every move she makes. That's the woman that end up with the creeps you describe. Its sad. Why are these woman like this? Why can't a good STABLE person be exciting? Keep looking and do not give up hope. You will find her. She is looking for you too! Trust me! There comes a time when you need to look at whats best for you and not who is the hottest piece of @ss..

Answer 3

Many women like "criminal types or obnoxious loud-mouths", if you will, because women are attracted to confidence. You can't go approach a woman already thinking of yourself as a loser. It's okay to be a little shy. It probably means that's you're deeper than many of those criminals and loudmouths. But you have to have some areas of interest that you like to talk about and that bring your extroverted side out. Women who share those interest are probably good to pursue. And lastly, don't tone done your brain. Many women are attracted to intelligence and depth.

Answer 4

Of course there's hope for you... I would rather be with someone with your qualities than a jerk, criminal or obnoxious loud mouths any day. As long as you treat the woman good than don't worry. I used to be very shy myself but that has changed now. Just make sure that your shyness doesn't come across as you being an arrogant jerk.

Answer 5

YES! My brother was just like you. Never dated in high school or college, is a wonderful, cute guy with a good job, his own home, and lots going for him. The problem was he was painfully shy. Over the years, as he matured and naturally became more comfortable with himself, he slowly came out of his shell. He joined some social clubs (happy hour things, tennis, hiking, etc.) and met his first real girlfriend at 32. They went out for a year, but he was still so inexperienced that things fizzled. Just a few months later he met his next girlfriend (they were friends first) and now they're getting married next year. So, stay positive. It CAN happen. Hopefully you can meet girls through your guy friends, etc. or get set up by people who know you well and know you're a great guy. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

The wrong type of girls like the "bad guys". A good girl (lady) goes for the good guys.

My fiance he is a shy nice sweetie, he was too shy to ask me out so I asked him out two years later we're getting married.

One thing that helped on of my buddies who like you is anice guy just also shy, was the online dating. Lava life he told me was the best out of them all. It gives you the safety of the internet to get to know the girl and once you have the courage (or she does) its also eaier to ask someone out. I hate to say it but it lacks that physical connection that face to face with other people has which makes possible rejection easier.

Give it try and remember whats the worse that happens, you get a no? Big deal, plenty of fish in the sea. Another thing, not all the girls on those online dating websites are we'' "un-datable" my buddy met a great gal inside and out through there.

Answer 7

THERE IS HOPE!! If your shy, u can either get more energetic, or u can go for the "mysterious" look. If youve evr seen desperate houswives (im guessing u havnt) on the show there is a guy named Mike who is fairly shy, but hes really buff and wheres the right clothes. All you have to do is get the "mike" look down, and then try to lay low and seem mysterious (chicks dig it) then u definitly have a good chance.

Answer 8

Why are you so shy? I don't think it is necessary to transform into a thug. So lets.....go through and evaluate yourself.....what do you enjoy doing? Do you have male friends that you hang out with? When you do hang out is it alone or do you choose to go grab a bite to eat? Walk the beach? Bowl? Tell us more about you....What is your ideal woman? Sure you have given it some thought. The ball is in your court......

Answer 9

Confidence is what you need. What are you afraid of, the worse thing that can happen is that she can say no and you'll end up right back where you are or if you're smart about the type of women you choose to approach you might get a date.

Get outside your comfort zone and stop acting like a wuss, and stop all that mushy stuff. Girl's love it when you like them but act like you don't.

Answer 10

Do not change who you are. Check out my myspace at http://www.myspace.com/meganelizabethnc


I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25. He is VERY shy, graduated college, kinda nerdy (loves video games, star wars, etc.) and quiet. I, on the other hand, used to bartend, I am loud, I love having fun, I meet people and make friends very easily, and not to be an egomaniac, but I wouldn't say I am bad looking at all. When I met Adam, I fell head over heels for him. He was my ying to my yang. We filled in all of eachothers blank spots. On my myspace page you can check out pics of both of us together. We have a blast! Its set to private, so just ask me to approve you and I will. Please dont change. Why would you want someone to like you if it's not really you?