My mother-in-law and I used to be really tight. After my daughter was born via CSection. I went home about 3 days later to only be home for 2 hours and had to go back to the ER. Well come to find out the Epidural had caused a small bowel obstruction. So I had to remain in the hospital another 4 days. My husband suggested that his mother come get the baby and take her to our home so she wouldnt be at the hospital where she could catch something. Well at the time it seemed like a good idea. Well the mother-in-law stayed with her the 4 days. Ever since then, she insists on calling my daughter "my baby". I came to see "my baby". UGH! She drives me up the wall with that, she is NOT her baby and she needs to stop saying it. I hate it so much that I stopped going to their house unless I have to and I dont even want her around my child. My husband says Im crazy. On her 1st birthday, this neurotic woman was acting like she was the only one there to see my daughter, we had a room full of people.
2007-03-28 08:57:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she sounds really weird.
gw
2007-03-28 10:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by georgewallace78 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well it's quite sad that you are no longer close, however, I can understand your feelings on her actions. My suggestion would be to have a conversation with her about it, tell her you are uncomfortable with her calling your daughter her baby, suggest replacement names (not as though telling her what to do), and just let her know how you feel when she says that, trying not to be overcome with anger of course. If you two can work this out and she is intelligent enough to see that she indeed should NOT be calling your child hers then hopefully the issue will be done and you can be civilized again. Furthermore it might just be a grandmotherly thing and not so much as that she's claiming ownership in saying this. It could just be meant as "my little baby" and not exactly how you hear it which is "my child". She obviously knows you gave birth to her and that she is your child and not hers, so i'm pretty positive that this matter is just that of confusion. Sit down and rethink, next time she says this, listen carefully to the tone and how she actually phrases it, you might think it less of an issue. If it continues to be a problem with you resort back to step 1 (talking it out with her).
2007-03-28 16:07:45 · answer #2 · answered by trapt_tiffani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't doing it to be mean. You got to realize that a bond was made while you were in the hospital. I am not taking her side, but everyone knows your daughter is yours and she is just being a grandma. Don't let it bother you. It isn't that big of a deal. If you can't get past that, talk to her and just tell her that is your pet name for your daughter and it is special for you and ask if she wouldn't mind having some other "name" for the child. You seem to be a little on the jealous side cause you didn't get to spend those first couple of days with your baby, but just remember, you had the last year of her life and the majority of her time! Don't be selffish
2007-03-28 16:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by WOOOOO Whooo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure how to help you with this one. I would limit her time alone with the baby. It's almost like she needs to unbond. You are not crazy. If this were happpening to any other mother, they would feel the same way. I'll bet if YOUR mom were acting this way, your hus would think it was weird! She did a nice thing, but obviously it has affected her in a strange way.
2007-03-28 16:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you see her, take the baby to her and tell her. "Here's Grandma's girl" . Encourage her to love your child, while putting it in the right context. Why would you be upset when you obviously have a concerned adult who is willing to help you raise and love your child? Enjoy a break, let her babysit some.
2007-03-28 16:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by Grandma Shorty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are overreacting. You just welcomed a new baby into the world, enjoy the joy that you and your MIL share for this infant.
My Mom has yet to visit me, and my "baby" just turned two. You should feel blessed that someone loves your baby about as much as you do and shows it!
If she feel overbearing, simply avoid her as you have been doing. You don't want to add a sour note to such a wonderful celebration.
2007-03-28 16:25:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm, I think it's more then her calling the baby "my baby" as you could have told her you aren't quite comfortable with that and ask her to say "my grandbaby". If you haven't told her, she can't change it - so - responsibility is yours and your resentment will continue to grow because you expect her to read your mind. The problem(s) are yours - so step up and handle it in a NICE manner, respectfully and take ownership of YOUR feelings and thoughts and quit pushing them off on your MIL and hubby.
2007-03-28 16:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be thankful your MIL was there to help with the baby, and you should be thankful that she loves the baby as much as she does. You are an ungrateful daughter-in-law
2007-03-28 16:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to sit you MIL down and say listen i know you love her but she's definitely my baby but you can feel free to call her your grand-baby! that would drive me crazy too!
2007-03-28 16:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be going through post pardum depression or anxiety. Just relax. She's a proud grandma. Try and share. Get closer to her or talk to her about your sensitiveness.
2007-03-28 16:10:57 · answer #10 · answered by J Doe 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yep! Your crazy. You need to chill. Grand-mum means it as a term of endearment. Don't take offence to it.
2007-03-28 16:14:45 · answer #11 · answered by Ironball 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋