Too young to be a mom???

Question

I am only 23 yrs old am i old enough to take care of a baby??I dont feel ready at all i only just graduated from college last year.I have a job but have never managed my own money i have been married 4 yrs and hubby took care of all of that stuff for me.We seperated for 8 months and i made the mistake of seeing my ex.bf and first everything from highschool. I ended it because he was a newly wed and felt it was wrong.Too late though i am 4 months pregnant with ex.bf's child.I am terrified i can barley take care of myself and remeber to balance a check book let alone care for someone else?P.S i was on the pill when this happend

Answer 1

Well, you may be young , but WHATEVER you do please don't think about an abortion!

I think you will be OK. There are many programs in this country for single moms, and I am sure you will be able to work things out.

BTW, you can get child support from your boyfriend, if you don't think you can survive without it. However, it will bring a stain on his marriage.

Answer 2

Jackie,
You are 23 and have a college education. It's not like you are 15 or something. You are definitely capable of supporting and caring for this baby. Sometimes babies are sent to us when we least expect them, but this is happening and it's time to prepare. You will be surprised at how this baby will make you get your life together, because when you have a baby, you put things into perspective. Problems that seemed big before look pathetic next to the perfect little person that you will be taking care of. Babies definitely change things, but they are good changes. As far as taking care of finances, all you have to do is pay bills and balance a checkbook, it's not brain surgery. Your ex will have to pay child support, handle it thorough the courts and get your money from him. No matter how old or what your marriage situation is, a first time mother always doubts she can handle it all. You can. It's the natural order of things. Women have babies everyday.

Answer 3

Well its time to become a mom whether your ready or not. Does not mean you have to raise the child but it is too late for an abortion. If you truly feel you are unable to care for the child that is growing in you place the child into adoption. There are many couples that cannot have children that will rejoice at this chance. Did you know you get to pick the parents? (not knowing there name of course.)

Before giving adoption a thought think carefully about yourself. Yes you have been taken care of by others, but perhaps this treasure of a child is being given to you so that you can learn how to take care of yourself and another human being. Perhaps there is more to you then you think :-)

If you do give up the child be happy :-) You will be giving another person a chance at fillfilling their dreams, and in this way you have taken care of your child in the best way possible at this time in your life.

It does not matter how a child begins. A child is a blessing that we should always be grateful for.

Answer 4

I was 23 also when I first got pregnant--and married and in a stable relationship. I remember thinking if I'm this scared how in the world must a teen-ager feel. I have realized since then I was mature enough to be scared and to realize how important being a mother really is. I think a lot of women who get pregnant to young do not realize what a big deal it is--so you'll be fine you are half way there,by already being concerned-- being a mom will take work but you will never regret having your baby!!

Answer 5

Whether or not you are too young to be a mom is moot at this point. You may not feel ready but you still have five months or so to get things worked out. Solicit some advice from your parents on how to get organized. Maybe you can stay with them if you pay rent so that you can get a little help once the baby is here (your parents wouldn't be raising the child, just giving you pointers).

Everyone has to grow up sometime and this is the best time to do it!

Answer 6

First off, no parent was "ready" or "fully prepared" to take on a first child, you do have it more difficult than most being single. But you got one thing going for you, your asking yourself the right questions. That is a good step.
You need to make sure the father knows, you may have ended the relationship but still, he needs to be aware and needs to help as he is just as responsible. It may hurt his new marriage, but then again he should of thought of that before he stuck it in you...

There are lots of programs you can take advantage of to help you care for your child, and paying bills isn't that tough as long as you are organized for the get go, use a calender to keep track of what days stuff are due, direct deposit and automatic drafts are great ways to pay bills, but you need to always stay on top of your account balance.

Can you do this...yes you can, but you do need to figure out if you are ready for the responsibility, and if your not ready find a way to get there.


And as an FYI there are only 2 sure ways of birth control, ovaries removed, and abstinence..at most the others are 99% effective

Answer 7

If you let it, this can be your wake up call. It can be your introduction into the adult world. At 23, you are jolly well old enough to handle it. You DO have choices, but only you can make them. You are Woman, and you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Nobody ever said life would be easy, and nothing is handed to us on a silver platter. We all have to work for what we have, and those things that are hardest to attain are the most treasured. You have an opportunity to grow and mature here, to experience the unconditional love of a child. Yes, it IS a commitment. But it's a commitment that is more than worth it.

Answer 8

I'll be 23 in May, married and divorced with a 2 year old girl from that relationship, and now due in about 2 1/2 weeks with baby #2. I've been a stay at home mom for the past 8-9 months, something my fiance and I both wanted. We have our times of struggle, but we make it work. I won't sit here and agree or disagree with your past decisions, but to answer your question... They have 13 and 14 year olds raising babies nowadays. Compared to those kids, you're too OLD to have kids, ha. It's sad, but true.

Answer 9

Sweetie, you are not to young! I had 4 children by you age! ( I am 26 now) You made a mistake. It happens. /the baby however is not a mistake....the baby is a blessing. Your blessing. It may not be easy, in fact it will be down right hard at times, but being a mom is the most rewarding job you will ever have! Take care of your self and you baby. Take your prenatal vitamins. And God Bless

PS I recomend the book "What to expect when your expecting"

Answer 10

It is not age that typically determine's a persons readiness to care for a child, but life experience and wisdom. It sounds to me as though you have little experience with certain aspects of your personal finances, but this does not necessarily mean that you will be an inadequate or terrible mother. This simple means that this area in your life needs a bit of work before you can be sure of being financially capable of supporting someone other than yourself. I would seek out those around you who seem to be very financially secure, ask advice, create a plan, and really put forth an effort to follow through with it. Take your life and your circumstances into your own hands, you child will need you to be a strong and capable woman, and you still have time to work on it.

Answer 11

Well, you're only as mature as you want to be. I'm 23, and I adopted a little girl three years ago because she needed a stable home. I gave birth to my son 10 months ago. He was planned. Some people want children early, and can manage the hectic life. If you want to be a mother, you will. You find ways to make everything work just right. If you don't, then you should consider adoption. Your child deserves the best. You have to decide what that is. You're a college graduate, right? Good luck to you. You will figure it out.