Are we done for good?

Question

My best friend and he were together for a year and a half. In the begining it was great. Now in January she called me crying saying she got a list of things she was doing wrong in their relationship.....I gave her my piece of advice and she didnt like it. She said I was biased. We were together for 2-12 years by the way. We talked ad could tell something was up. Well they had been fighting since January. Right when they started dating she said to him the deal breakers are marriage and kids....they were on teh same page. Welll since Januaury they were fighting about getting married. Now he has changed his tune, doesnt want to stay in the same city where he is now (an hour away from her) They fought Sunday and he said we are through...she asked if he is saying that out of anger and he said NO. Then he came back and said something to th affect of a two week break. What is he up to? Is he commitment phobic like he says he is.

Answer 1

Sounds like a lot of growing up on both parties sides needs to be done... Best way often to see where and what a relationship is is sometimes to pull back. When one is enmeshed in a relationship you get a sense of strangling , and lose your identity with the other party.. your views become more theirs sometimes.. and feel a betrayal and sense of lose of self..
Maybe , pulling back is best.. be patient and if the relationship and the other person comes back , great . If not , let go and move on,.. better to know now than go further and get hurt more.
Letting go is never fun, or without pain.. but, can be a great teacher about life and self and others if you let it be..
good luck to both of you... hope what ever happens you respect each other to leave the other as best the way you found each other.. that is the true test of what the relationship was.. don't bash or put down the other but lift and respect...