My girlfriend's friends are mad at her?

Question

Hey, my girlfriend's friends have been kind of bitchy to her lately because apparently she's been spending too much time with her. I don't know what to do. She says that she doesn't want to spend less time with me but I can't help feeling badly about this. At the same time, I don't want to spend any less time with her. I love her, and consider her my best friend. We've been dating just over half a year... Why is this coming up now? Even when she tries to hang out with them, they say they'd rather stay home (like this weekend, too much work).

What are we to do? I don't want to risk the relationship :'(

Well, she says she does not want to spend less time with me - but also does not want to lose close friends... I understand that rationally, but at the same time think poorly of her friends for just not trying to fix the problem. She's tried to confront them and solve this, but nothing is happening...

At the same time, I am unfortunately grappling with an obsessive disorder, which does not make this situation ANY better. In fact, it makes it 1000x worse.

I should also add a conversation they had a little while back... Her friends were "betting" when we would split up. I'm going off to uni next year so it will be long distance. I just don't understand their bloody problem!

Answer 1

You didn't give us enough info. What does she have to say about all of this. If she's not worried or upset than you shouldn't be. If she's telling you she wants to spend more time with them..then you worry.

Answer 2

Ah I think the two of you if the love is mutual is normal, you know the spending time together thing and probly wanting and will spend more and more time together but the girlfriends over reacting is not so normal. Ok lets me say this over I think its normal to an extent depending on how old you guys are I mean even in High school circles of friends change all the time and even with best friends you go back and forth depending on what is going on in your lives. But if its getting like out of hand, wait first I want to say it could be nothing at all besides women being women "catty" but it could be that theres something more there, and what that is I dont really know and could go many many avenues guessing but it could be something like the level of there involvment with eachother the nature of it, or just jealousy who knows my point is just to look deeper into it before deciding if your the wrong doer, good luck Kim

Answer 3

Try to figure out why your girlfriend's friends are upset with her - maybe they're beginning to feel left out while your relationship is clearly moving ahead. Talk to them about the situation and ask what you can do to make this better for everyone.

Unfortunately, her friends may just be acting this way to try and gain control of the situation and cause a split between you two. You shouldn't feel guilty for being in love with someone, and no one has the right to make you two compromise your relationship. If this is the case, your girlfriend may have to make a choice -- between you, or her so-called "friends" (Although, I'm not sure how many friends would try to split up such a happy relationship without any concern for one of their own!).

Whatever the outcome is, stand behind your girlfriend 110%.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like the friends are jealous that your girlfriend found someone else to spend time with. If she offers to spend time with them, and they decline, then they really aren't mad about losing time with her. We women can be like that sometimes. Advise your girlfriend to plan a get together with her friends. She should tell them she wants to reconnect, or refresh their friendship. It would be a good time for her to reinforce that she still values them as friends, and that she has ADDED a boyfriend to her circle of friends. This is not about replacing them. Now that she has a man in her life, her time is going to be divided. That's not a bad thing, it's a fact of life. No matter what, don't feel bad. You and your girlfriend have discovered that you enjoy each other's company, and that is likely what's got her girlfriends in a tither. What about these women? Don't they have boyfriends? Surely if they met a great guy, they wouldn't think twice about cutting back on her time with the girls to hang out with her new beau!! Don't let it become YOUR issue. It's their problem. Sooner or later they'll get over it.

Answer 5

You've bn with each other for half a yr now so this is a serious relationship so it is normal for ur girlfriend 2 wanna spend more time with u. Maybe her friends are jealous of the relationship you have. I would suggest maybe that u and ur mates go out with her and her mates. This way she is getting best of both worlds and her friends cant complain. But it is also could for u 2 let ur girlfriend have some girly time even if its just 1ce a month. Good luck and i hope my advice helps!!

Answer 6

Don't change how much time you spend together, instead try having a party and invite all your friends so that you can become better aquainted with them. When she goes out with her friends go a few times. Perhaps then they will see the all the nice qualities that your girlfriend sees. Her friends should be understanding and if they are not, what kind of friend is that anyway??

Answer 7

You shouldn't spend less time together. If her friends were true friends then they wouldn't be mad at her. You two have been dating a while now so don't do anything different, be there for her when she needs you and spend as much time with her as you two want but let her hang out with friends when she wants too also. Her friends are overreacting!!

Answer 8

If they were really good friends they wouldn't have told her they were busy when she wanted to go out... she should just leave it alone. most girlfriends are only there because they don't want to go to bars alone. this is not what you or she wants right now so they'll get over it. they'll also find out that when your in a serious relationship, you just don't go hang out all over town like you used to do.. maybe that's why they aren't in a serious relationship and she is...they need to grow up. a girls night out is fine but hanging out with the girls all the time gets old too..
Maybe the two of you could have them over for dinner or bbq, or something like that where everyone can bring someone they're seeing also.

Answer 9

This is exactly what happened to me - my friends were mad at me for spending so much time w/ my bf. Basically, I'm sorry to say it's just a sucky situation you'll have to wait out. :(

Try to leave it up to her how much time she wants to spend with them. She's going to be feeling really guilty about it, so maybe suggest that she can have like a 'girls night' once a week so they feel a little better about it. You'll never be able to really satisfy the friends because she's always going to be gone more than she used to be, and it's not worth it to stress so much about this to jeopardize your relationship over it.

My friends started getting mad at me at the beginning of my relationship w/ my bf, and I just had to establish time w/ them once a week so that I wouldn't feel guilty.. and over time they realized that I just wouldn't be around as much as I used to be & accepted it. Now we've been going out for 4 years & life is good!

Answer 10

Well then her friends are the ones with the problems if they are all the sudden getting mad at her, and you've been going out with her for over half a year.