Guy is cheap cheap cheap. I am assuming he will change after marriage, once he knows that I am with him forever. However, he does want me to sign a prenup.........so I dunno!
2007-03-28 08:38:36 · 15 answers · asked by Celebrate 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its dangerous to marry someone on the assumption he will change at some point. You have to take him as he is, so if you find his penny pinching unacceptable than you you should rethink the whole marriage thing. Maybe you should try to get to the bottom of the reason why hes like this...it may be something that can be resolved with some work. If not, you have to either not marry him or take him as he is and hope for the best.
As for the prenup I think it depends on the terms and conditions of it. If its fair to both parties, go ahead and sign. If its just designed to basically leave you with nothing should the marriage fail...forget it (and him!)
2007-03-28 08:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by helens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if anything Mr. frugal will get worse in marriage. In most PRE Marriage relationships the other party is on their BEST behavior.. and , we are too often deaf, dumb and blind in love to see the warning signs.... Pull back, and really take a hard look at this guy.. Do you want to really live with someone who is as you say "frugal".. I feel this is more Mr. controlling coming along.. Being frugal to you is what?.... define it clearly.. Sounds like you are seriously thinking to marry him.. YOU can't Fix the future unless you know the present , and understand his past that makes him so tight to want a prenup..
I feel that talking over finances and ideas of what both expect from the relationship regarding money matters is especially critical with the two of you. Most marriages end in divorce due to Money problems and like... why start out setting it up to fail... ?
Wish you all the luck and good choices...in the relationship and life.
2007-03-28 08:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by miladyfaire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody changes after marriage. I am married (I am a man) and I have not changed - I have gotten worse.
If the cheapness is real cheapness rather than prudent frugality - you will be unhappy.
If he is prudent and frugal for good reasons - like saving for a house or something - or not wasting his money on junk - then he is a good find.
However - you may still be unhappy if he is very very differnent from you about money.
If he is not rich and is asking you for a pre-nuptial he is a nutcase.
If he is rich - then his lawyer should be talking to you and you should have your own lawyer.
2007-03-28 08:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by Cumjunkie Doner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not change, but cheap is good. You should use your extra money to build a ginormus stock portfolio which you can retire at age 53 or so.
If you get a prenup, then you need an income too one you can support yourself on. And your own savings and stocks in your name, vehicle titled in your name only, your name also on your home.
Explain that a prenup is alright as long as it protects your life situation as well. If not than sorry Charlie.
2007-03-28 09:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by Vultureman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he won't change once you get married. You'll be marrying into unrealistic expectations and that's not fair to either of you. Why is he so cheap? Because money is more important to him than making the person he is spending the rest of his life with happy? I'm not saying he should pay for everything all the time, but what happens when you have kids and you want to take them out or buy them nice little things?...........Uuum, you probably won't be able to because he is cheap cheap cheap!!
2007-03-28 08:50:42 · answer #5 · answered by ebony r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marry him...he sounds like he's just wise about finances. he probably understands if theres no managing of money, then it's very easy to find yourself in the poorhouse. as far as a prenump...he's just doing what every guy should do theses days. A lot of women understand the term "starter husband" which means , they'll go ahead with marriage but if someone better comes along or it doesnt work out, they can leave and expect alimony,child support and what not. He probably knows this and feels if it doesnt work out, why should he have to take care of you for the rest of his life. And if you met another guy and your ex is giving you alimony,then theres no reason for the new guy to marry you because he's got it made with his money,your money and your ex's money. Think about it. Men too many times have gotten screwed over the years and he's is totally aware of who the courts favor. He's just watching his back.Good For Him!!!
2007-03-28 08:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is primitive and natural that women look in a man for material estability and some room for comfort in the future family, not necessarily luxury, even if you wil bring home income or not.
I can be so called a "frugal" man with words from time to time about this issue with my woman, but we have clear that the most important are the spiritual things, far from changing TV every year. We also please ourselves from time to time with gifts we really enjoy. If you love him and you look at a "frugal" future OK, marry him.
2007-03-28 09:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he most definitely will not change after marriage...... so if you want to marry a cheap man who thinks you may be a golddigger, do so. Personally, I don't think it sounds like a very fun life....and life's just too damn short!
2007-03-28 08:41:52 · answer #8 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign the pre-nup then. You already stated that you'll be with him forever. If you hold to that promise, then the prenup will never come into play, will it?
2007-03-28 08:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him for how he is cus all the things that you dont like about his will come out even more after you are married
but if he is easy going and he can comprise then i would say its OK to marry him (that is if you love him of course)
2007-03-28 08:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋