I recently got married. Prior to our wedding we had now problem getting along with his mom. However a couple months before our wedding his brother and sister-in-law had a baby. This was his mom's first grandchild. Ever since the wedding, we are barely noticed in the family. His mom never calls us anymore, even when she says she will. When we are with the family you can no longer have an intellegent conversation with her because she is so preoccupied with the baby. I even think our s-i-l is starting to get annoyed because she can't hold her own kid when his mom is around. The kid is almost 9 months old. Do you think this is just a new grandma phase and she will eventually get over it or do you think we need to say something? She seriously is obsessed with this kid and it is making me feel like we need to have a kid just to get noticed.
2007-03-28 08:13:58 · 10 answers · asked by heathyre30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Here is the other side note on this situation. M-I-L takes me and my husband aside and tells us to be nice to the younger sisters boyfriend, and talk to him to make him feel better (even though the kid will never talk to us). Then turns around and completely ignores us and has even gone as far as leaving a restaurant with out us. So I think that I wouldn't have as much of a problem with the situation if there wasn't so much hippocracy.
2007-03-28 09:02:34 · update #1
I know how you feel I had a similar problem. My husband had a private heart to heart with her and told her how we felt and she didn't even realize she was doing this. after he told her, she eased up some. and I find that when she gets on my nerves,I just stay at home. about your sis-in-law, that is some thing she and her husband need to discuss w/ her you should stay out of that.but it sounds to me that granny has control issues. and if at all possible some one should tell her to back off alittle.maybe not in those words but you know what I mean.good luck!!
2007-04-05 04:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly S 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I have had the same EXACT problem. MIL and I got along great and then SIL had the first grand-baby. I am telling you, she will never get over it. This grandbaby is her favorite and will always be. There is nothing you can do about that. I won't recommend getting pregnant. My husband and I accidentally got pregnant when first grandchild was 3 months old. Trust me when I say, you don't want that kind of attention. Everything MIL wanted to do with her daughter's pregnancy and baby and everything she secretly thinks her daughter is doing wrong, she will try to "correct" in you and your baby. She is obsessed and saying something won't help. You will just look like a spoiled little girl who wants some attention and is jealous of a baby. Even though that isn't the case, she is going to think that and it will just upset her. Just let it go and don't get pregnant just for attention.
2007-03-28 15:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by Stone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect grandma to get over her obsession with the new baby. Babies are adorable. Even more so when they aren't yours. I would love to have a baby to fuss over that I didn't have to feel responsible for except whenever I felt like it! It's useless to say, 'Just get used to it' because it is not going to get any easier. Your sister in law is going to be the person, at her own pace, to put the brakes on it. As you said, she will be annoyed enough that she will talk to her M.I.L Better her than you!
As more grandkids come along, it will get easier because grandma won't be able to obsess about them all simultaneously. So just wait. Don't feel pressured to have your own - make your own decision about that and about timing. Good luck! I still think babies are adorable and would love being a doting grandma but I'm nowhere near that happening. A cute little smiling baby just steals my heart - if you coo and delight over your s.i.l's baby, you will gain points with grandma and probably enjoy yourself. After all, you don't have to change the diapers, either!
2007-04-01 15:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of relationship did the mom have with her kids? Maybe she's looking at the grandchild as a chance to do it all over again - only the right way. Maybe she's absolutely enchanted with her very first grandchild, who by the way, will always be very special to her. Does she see the baby every day? If so, then there's a problem. If not, then it'll take a little longer for her to let anyone else usurp her time. (When the baby is with her)
Good luck!! It's almost impossible to compete with a baby for attention. You are an adult...right...so, ask yourself this : why are you jealous of a baby?
2007-03-28 15:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Tiilynn♥ 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
at least you're prepared for how she may react if you 2 have kids of your own.
not your place to tell MIL she's obsessed. it's your SIL's job bec it's her child. it's probably just a new grandma phase. if you're not getting anything valuable out of this relationship, do something better with your time. take a break from MIL for a few months. maybe she will recognize your absence and miss you and realize what's going on. You're a newlywed. you and hubby should just disappear and start working on your new life together. the hell with this drama.
do not take social direction from her either. she is really in no position to give it, is she?
2007-03-28 21:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by rainyday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T SWEAT THIS! U are over grudging on this. She is a NEW grandma. Don't take that away from her! U take it too personal and that causes problems! You know u were the centre of things as your relationship grew, and then u had yr wedding.
Just wait until you have your 1st child and see if you can get rid of her! Then you will be on yahoo answers wondering how to get rid of her... heh heh heh.
2007-04-05 14:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by choose happiness 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is really interesting. You are upset because your MIL is not paying attention to you. Sounds kind of childish to me. Why should you care? Enjoy all of the other family at the family gatherings (i.e. little sister's boyfriend, maybe he is just shy) instead of worrying about getting attention from your MIL.
2007-04-01 16:05:53 · answer #7 · answered by someadvice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. Think about this. Your mother in law is not driving you crazy....the newlyweds have thier lives to themselves, as it should be. Trust me there will be endless years for her to drive you quite literally out of you mind.
2007-03-28 15:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by mnkystp28 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm with the first poster. Enjoy your anonymity while you still have it.
2007-03-28 15:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's obsessed. Don't have a baby just to get noticed by her, she's not all that.
2007-03-28 15:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋