Hi! I have 2 daughters 6 & 4 but I take care of my cousin's little girl, also 6 after school till 5:30 or 6 while she's at work. Well yesterday when my cousin came to pick up her daughter I went to my daughters room to tell the little girl that her mom was here, when I opened the door I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw my daughter on top of her, if you know what i mean.. I was so angry. I know that my cousin's daughter was the one who thought of this because she's done it before. I have 2 girls and never have I caught neither one doing these kinds of things but the times I have seen it, my cousins daughter is here. So it has happened a few times even though it's been a while since I've seen her do this. Well I told my cousin I wouldn't watch her daughter anymore. Do you think I was right on doing that? Besides that, she doesn't pay me. What would you do?
2007-03-28 08:03:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well the thing is, we've caught her before. For example, rubbing herself on stuffed animals. One time this year, don't remember exactly, my youngest came to me crying with her panties down telling me that her cousin had done that. I think I let it slide a little too long. And believe me, my cousin is very aware of her little girls actions and besides getting angry I did tell both of them that what they were doing was wrong. the only reason why I pick her up is because they attend the same school so yeah I have been too nice for too long and I told her in calm manner, I can't watch your daughter anymore. It is what it is, but I appreciate everyones opinion.
2007-03-28 08:17:28 · update #1
Kids are gonna be kids....if you treat the act like a sexual manner then you are the one putting a sexual connotation to the act. As a kid people tend to sit on each other....now if a lude act was being conducted then I'd see some wrong but just let them be!
2007-03-28 08:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by jluster05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that, at the age of 6, your cousin's daughter has seen a little too much at home (and it may have been accidentally seen but she has taken an unhealthy interest in it - she's only 6!).
She may be acting out what her parents don't know she has witnessed. She may have found some pornographic magazines or seen a pornographic video.
I have to comment on the 'rubbing herself with a stuffed animal' thing - it is not uncommon for girls to do that; I believe I read that somewhere and I know for sure, I used to sleep with my teddy bear between my legs!
I think you were right to tell your cousin you wouldn't watch her daughter anymore but I hope you don't punish the child by treating her like an oversexed pariah!
If the little girl has a lot of attention paid to her because of this behavior and she likes that attention, you may be encouraging her in a direction she wouldn't choose to go if she were older and more in control of her action and her situation.
I remember being caught playing doctor with the boy next door when I was around 7 or 8 - I still was a virgin when I was 17 and I guess that proves that a lot can happen in your life.
2007-04-01 15:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there has to be a reason that her daughter is doing those things. Did you ask your cousin if she knew why she would want to do that? If your cousin can talk to her daughter about it or try and figure out what is going on, then maybe the issue can be resolved and you can continue watching her. But, you were right to do that maybe it will force your cousin to actually take this seriously and really figure out what is going on with her daughter which will work out for everyone in the end hopefully.
2007-03-28 15:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by lizzee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you adults should sit down with your girls, and just tell them they're too young to be doing that. You can still watch her daughter, unless it;'s a hassle and you don't want to do it anymore. She should be paying you if it's changing your schedule,(like if you have to wait half an hour to pick her up). Your time is valuable, espcially if you have a 4-year old too. That would make me nervous. As for what the girls are doing, it's perfectly normal. It my day(30 years ago) we began practising kissing when we were about 10. But they see so much more on TV now. It doesn't mean they'll be lesbians (not that there's anything wrong with that).
2007-03-28 15:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by LadyLynn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your cousin's daughter's fault. Children tend to imitate things they've seen either in their own homes, on television, school, anywhere really. I think that it was unfair to tell your cousin you wouldn't watch her child because of this particular incident or any in fact. The girl is six, and you should explain it to her why it is wrong. Talk to the girls parents as well. If you do not want to watch her because you aren't getting paid, tell your cousin, if she can't pay you and you would prefer to be payed than don't watch the kid.
2007-03-28 15:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by Chaun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... i would ask her if her daughter has seen her engaging in this kind of activity. the child just may be acting out something she has seen and is just curious about it and what not. you are right in a very strong way but you could have asked the child's mom to speak with her own daughter about it not being appropriate. i would have done the same thing and told my cousin that until she speaks to her own daughter about it you won't baby sit for her any more.
2007-03-28 15:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by cowgirlclub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that sort of make sense, but it's not your cousins fault that her daughter has developped these bad habits(maybe it is, but kids are weird, and she probably learned it at school). Maybe just to be polite, refer the your cousin to an after school program. And offer to watch her daughter until she finds someone else to take care of her daughter.
2007-03-28 15:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi149 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to think of your children first. But, you also have a duty to protect your cousin's daughter. Were is she learning this behavior? Is she at risk or being molested? Explain to your daughters why the behavior is inappropriate.
2007-03-28 15:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by say_tay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Little kids don't really know what that means. I don't think it meant anything. I think you read too much into it, aduls see it one way, but the kids were probably just playing! I would have maybe told your cousin that she needs to talk to her daughter, about playing rough and keeping her hands to herself but I wouldn't have overreacted and quit on her. If you don't want to wacth your niece anymore then that is one thing but it was wrong to quit because of the daughter!
2007-03-28 15:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would sit down and have a serious talk with your cousin about her daughter. She is teaching your daughters behaviors that you do not approve of. You will have to sit down with your children and explain to them why that behavior is unacceptable. I would also refuse to babysit until she has solved the problem and never for free. It is up to her to teach her daughter appropriate behaviors, but you do not have to tolerate inappropriate behavior in your home.
2007-03-28 15:15:38 · answer #10 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋