What should i do, when the man i love dumps me and week after tells me he thinks he has made a mistake, but things has gotten complicated....there is another girl.
Its almost a year since the break-up, but we have continued being friends and more because he is hope she realize that its not working and leave him instead of him breaking her heart.
He claims he is unable to tell her, because it might cause problems with his other friends who are also in his Masters group at the university he attends.
We spend all our time together, so most believe we are still together. I dont know his friends at school and they dont know me. I am becoming tired of this and it still hurts, because i feel like its not a good position that i am in.
I love him, i do but he is hurting me, just having this girl believe she is his girlfriend. They dont behave like that, while he is not at school or so i am told. As i said we are always together
He is hoping to end it by the time he finishes with school, but he is not sure when exactly is that.....may next year. I dont know if i can live like this anymore. He reasons for not telling her is to protect is school work with the other members in his group.
Please tell me how to deal or what to do with this. Do he reasons make sense?
2007-03-28 07:53:40 · 9 answers · asked by Aliboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would like more advice on this issue, please.
2007-03-29 05:58:51 · update #1
I am not shocked as to the answers i am getting. His Family knows about me and sees me as his girlfriend, because they have no idea that we broke-up except for his mom. She knows about everything that is going on, she believes he is behaving like a coward. I am upset because, he treats me like we are an item...we do everything together, our weekends, our holidays are spent together. I know he is a jerk for putting me in this position, but i dont know how to let go, when he is feeding me this fantasy that it will all work out because he knows what he wants (me). I fail to see that, cuz he aint here completely.
We are planning to see a counselor this weekend. I am hoping she could shed some light on the situation, cause he doesn't open up to no one, so most dont have a clue how he feels or thinkings.
Not trying to make excuses for him cuz he did me wrong, but i wanna fight as long as i can to hold on to the man i love. I am not sleeping with him, we do kiss but thats it.
2007-04-05 07:02:43 · update #2
I am being silly thinking, he could be telling the truth about the nature of the relationship with this girl?
2007-04-05 07:30:31 · update #3
It seems like he doesn't have a problem hurting you but he has the nerve to tell you that he doesn't want to hurt this other woman. His reasons are all very self serving. He's not thinking about you at all. All he wants is what he wants, and if he could have his cake and eat it too, trust me, he would. Will it be her, or will it be you, oh dear I don't want to hurt HER.. hmm..her..you.. her or you.. Please! make the decision for him and spare yourself future heartache. He's spoiled and self centered sweetheart, put yourself before him and don't sacrifice your feelings. He'll only continue to hurt you with his wishy washy bullsh*t.
2007-04-04 18:34:06 · answer #1 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I simply don't believe this guy's story. He is not unlike the guy who has a mistress (nice word for sex he gets on the side) and a wife. He has his friends and his wife and they socialize. Then he has his mistress who he hides away and he controls who knows about her.
This guy is not even married to the other girl - and I'll bet she believes, either from hoping or from what he has told her, that she will someday be his wife. He could break up with her - he is not dealing with a legal situation. But he won't. He doesn't bring her into his life outside school - why do you think that is? Because it is very important to keep those worlds separate.
I'm guessing his family thinks he has a serious relationship with this girl. The members of his group would probably accept any decision he makes about his private life. That just leaves you - you are the only person who hopes that someday you will have a whole life with him. One where he presents you to his friends at school, for example. Do you think that after he finishes school, he will be able to live a lie and tell them that he just met you or you are an 'old friend' who came back into his life? There's way too much lying going on already - and this is a commitment not to you but to more lies!
How about this: he gets together with you when he finishes school. He keeps seeing this girl and tells her that he can't break up with you because his family likes you, you are mentally unstable and can't take a breakup, you are carrying his baby - make up any lie you want. Then what if she falls for it and continues to see him on the side while he lies to her and lies to you - just as he does now, except now it's your turn to have her place in the lie? This is all so wrong and it hurts because you know it but you can't bring yourself to break up with him for being a cheating liar. Think of it this way: you can gamble but odds are VERY good that it will get a lot worse and you will hurt more than you do now.
So break up with him. He can take it. He has her.
2007-04-05 13:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same position and later on when the guy I loved left the girl, he ended up doing the same thing to me. I think you need to let him know that he is hurting you. If he really loves you he will break it off with her. Personally you need to find a real man because as time passes your feelings for him will become deeper and you will just be so torn apart inside, his reason sounds like he's playing the both of you... honey you right you are not in a good position and if you don't get out of that position you will continue to feel worser and worser
2007-04-04 16:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by tasty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he doesn't want to break her heart,he's just wasting his time.If he really didn't wanna be with her,he would've already broken up with her.Even tho u still like him, I think that maybe u should try to move on.I kno it may seem hard,but do u really want to wait a year when by then he may change his mind?But,if he does break up with her sooner than that,take a shot at asking him back out.
Good luck & hope I helped
2007-03-28 15:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by Whitney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing both of you. Give him an ultimatum, if he chooses her then it is time to move on, you've spent enough time with him and he should know what he wants. Don't buy the excuses, people break up all the time his schoolmates would understand.
2007-03-28 15:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!NO!NO! I am in the same situation! and it sucks and i know it! but it sounds like he is just takin you along for tha ride! get off that train while you can! i promise it will be better on you. that whole thing bout he can tell her cause he don't want to break her hreat is BS! he just wants to be with her and have you on tha side!
2007-04-05 10:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by nik-nik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go cause right now you are playing the fool and so is the other chica. Call him out on his infidelity then let him go.
2007-04-04 22:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by Pretty Young Thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him as quickly as possible.These kind of guys are very difficult to handle,they have no morale.they cannot take decisions .They will cause you pain all your life
Be good not fool.............
2007-04-05 13:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by rai sahab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you having sex with him ? yes, boy, he has it made,
2007-04-05 13:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋