my boyfriend of 5 months pays me no attention when his 5 yr old daughter is there she is the world which i no?

Question

it's not his daughter that gets on my nerves it 's how he acts with her and how he treats her when there together how do i deal with him?

Answer 1

First - TALK TO HIM..communication is the key to all relationships.

Second - Stop trying to compete with his child. You are some girl he's been dating for five months...the little girl is his daughter...she will (and should) always take priority.

Third - Stop being so sensetive...she's a little girl, she needs her daddy...if it makes you uncomfortable...try to be supportive and get involved...if your boyfriend sees you accept his daughter...there are better chances that he will open up to you while she's there.

Source(s):

Luke's Mommy

Answer 2

If you really love him, you better get used to it. His daughter should get his attention when shes there. Maybe you could suggest the three of you go out to do something fun together, like a park, or bowling. If you get to know the little girl better, and have a relationship with her, it will be easier for you all to spend time together.
You should tell your bf you want to get to know the little one better, and spend quality time with the 2 of them...
just remember that she was his first, and she's not going anywhere. Let them have some alone time, and then when it's the 3 of you, it will be special in it's own way.

Answer 3

1) You have to decide how he's treating you--is it bad that he's spending time with his daughter? Especially if he doesn't have full custody, this is his time with his daughter. It's almost selfish to say you want to yank into it.

2) At the same time, explain to him that you want to be a part of his daughter's life too. Also, you're only known him for 5 months. Are you living together? If not, on the days when his daughter is around it may be best to spend time by yourself unless he asks you to be there.

Answer 4

I understand where you are coming from, however its really not going to change not matter what advice anyone gives you. Like someone said previously maybe just go and do your own thing on the days that he has her. It would not only fix the problem but show some independance to. Or you can get more involved with her. None the less its not going to change. Maybe you can combine both and you will feel alot better in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to tell him how you feel sweetie. He may not realize how he is acting towards you while she is around. It's GREAT that they have a good relationship, which is alot more than most kids have with thier father, and you should not discourage that. Just ask him to make you feel included more. And take into heart, that it wont feel like it's just you and him anymore, she IS THERE........... so try to be included, and realize that perhaps you'll maybe need to try to have some one on one time with his daughter, so you'll have some xperience with her, and you guys can be friends, and she will include you more than just including her dad! It took my boyfriend a little bit to get used to having my 2 kids around when we moved in together. He felt not as close to me.........we had to get used to the fact that there were going to be times that I had to have my attention on them, and not on HIM all the time, and we would have our time together once either the chores were done, homework was done, or they were in bed.........takes some getting used to. Good luck sweetheart. Wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

well they have the father and daughter bond. i still deal with it to this day but join in games and that with them. becuz if ur bf knows u dont like his daughter chances r he will pick his daughter over u. if u really care about him, make a connection with his daughter so u dont feel left out. let his daughter know u want to be her friend and play with her. if this works out then she wont be on ur nerves and u will like her for who she is

Answer 7

Children come first, so if it really bothers you then find something else to do when the kid comes over. Go hang with other friends, go shop, get a massage, see a movie or get involved with the kiddie activities, be the surrogate mother you wish you had.

Answer 8

Careful. You are coming across as immature, selfish, self-centered, and basically annoying.

Love between a parent and a child is very unique and a special kind of love of it's own.

Love between spouses is also very unique and a special kind of love of it's own.

You are mixing the two. They are NOT the same.

You need to build up a relationship with him on the ADULT level, and join in with him and his daughter, understanding that she is NOT a threat to you because their love is not the HE & YOU type of love. It's different, it has different faucets, it needs to exist also. Whatever you do, do NOT get between the two. She is NOT your enemy. Do not step outside of the adult level and challenge her love for her dad.

Get to know her; grow to respect and love her. Accept her faults, accept her loving ways. Be her friend, but on an adult level (understanding, compassion) and not strickly as an authority figure (she will grow to resent you if you do). Everytime you approach her, approach her through the eyes of love, and get to know her, play with her, help her to understand that her dad & you have a different type of feelings than what she has for her dad. Both are special, but different.

Don't try to be that wedge between your beau and his daughter. It will gain you no ground. He feels guilty, and is trying to make it up to his daughter, and trying to remain close to her, so he is putting extra energy into it. You need to step back and allow him that space with her; and observe their interactions and their love. Just be there for him, and be there for her (if she asks).

You've walked into a special situation; learn by it and allow yourself to mature through this process.

032807 2:00

Answer 9

He's a parent and it sounds like he's a good one who loves his child. As a mother of a 5yo, she IS my world, I love her to pieces and if he's a p/t dad, meaning, the girl lives with her mom mostly, then he's probably understandably trying to in a sense make up for lost time and wants to reassure her she is still his little girl, he loves her to pieces, even if he cant always be there. If its different, talk to him but if I were single, no man would come between me and my kids.

Answer 10

You shouldn't be jealous of a little girl. That's not fair to try to make him pick between his own daughter and you for attention. I recommend you try to be more active with her when she is around, maybe you can both do things with her together.