My stepson just moved in with us in January. He seems to be doing in school here. But at home he is mean to his younger brother and has to argue over everything. He does the same at his mother's house on the weekends. It's not that he is mean he is physically hurting the younger siblings. Any suggestions?Do you think he could be depressed or acting out because he move with us instead of with his mom out of state?
2007-03-28 07:36:14 · 15 answers · asked by K 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i have raised a boy who constantly faught with his sister who is 5 years younger than him i think all siblings fight but your stepson may be acting out more because of his new arrangememts he may feel out of place and is probably going through confusion and anxiety as well as depression you and your husband need to make arrangements in a calm place and talk to him calmly and see if there is anything he feels like he's not getting from you i'm sure he is rebelling against you your husband and his mother for taking him away from an enviroment he is used to. remember if you need to there is no shame in seeking therapy for him. 9 is a rough age anyway without taking him out of his enviroment.his anger may subside when he gets adjusted to your home and his new family enviroment but as the adults you will have to help him do this. i wish your family the best.
2007-03-28 07:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by Ronni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, 2 points come to mind
#1, he is probably the only one that knows the answer to your question
#2, he may just tell ya if u ask him
he goes to the out of states moms on the weekend ?? is this by train plane or automobile ?? if its other than by car, perhaps the transportation mode frightens him ?? was the divorce "calm" ?? u and mom still friends ?? I hate to say it, but the simple truth is, kids are pawns in a divorce, is it possible mom is encouraging such behvior ?? does he do better in school that at home ?? if so, perhaps find out what he likes at school so much and bring the activity into the home ?? is there any medications or diagnoses involved ?? It can be just about anything, im trying to think back, 9 is too young for puberty right ?? i was discovered to be a tad different at age 10, i wont get into why in open forum, but it was a good reason, maybe get the school, the teacher and the principal involved ?? my principal at his age was my best friend. so theres some things to ponder, but start with step one, its the easiest and may even be the most productive, ask him, hes the only one that knows the answer. is his little brother school age ?? does little bro have more friends than him ?? is he jealous of little bro ?? grab the boy and take him fishing, have some quiet time, ask lots of questions but dont forget to listen, he may just blurt the answer out.
2007-03-28 14:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it could be either. I have a son that is nine almost ten and he acts the same way. It may also be that you just aren't used to having him there to argue with the younger brother. I would give it some time, then if it doesn't get any better, talk with your pediatrician about getting him some counseling for the things going on in his life. Give him some adjustment time first though! Good luck.
2007-03-28 14:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him evaluated by a psychiatrist. Ask the schools if they see things that they may not be reporting to you. Document incidents in factual terms rather than journaling your frustrations. Sure, he could be acting out. And maybe a counselor could help with that through play therapy. Or maybe he has a undiagnosed mood disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. The earlier you get him help, the better everyone will be. View this website and order their books. They are excellent!
2007-03-28 14:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got it. A move for anyone is stressful, paticularly a nine year old child who has moved away from his mother.
A boy needs his mother, and a step-mom (no offence) does not compensate so much.
You need to talk to him, ask him about his feelings, give him privacy, room to grow and a chance to keep in touch with mom if that is at all possible.
Think from his point of view.
2007-03-28 14:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by J. P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of his issues, a 9 year old is old enough to know not to hurt or put hands on other people especially ones who may be smaller. Above all that issue needs to be addressed first. Enough already with the therapists. This child needs discipline and must be held accountable for his actions.
2007-03-28 14:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the move has left him feeling displaced, and he probably acting out for attention. I would give him some time, devote attention to activities that he enjoys, make him feel like he;s an important member of the family, maybe once he has adjusted to the move he'll stop acting out.
2007-03-28 14:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Yoda_Yodel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal behavior. I mean, it can be learned if he is in a violent envoirnment, but usually it stemms from something else. Take him to an MHMR. They can do a psychological evaluation on him. I am not sure how you view medicating kids, but it is something worth looking into. If it is just a behavioral issue they can also help you with him. Good luck
2007-03-28 14:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by Mystie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably the change combined with his age now days kids mature faster so he may just be going through what we had as pre-teens early. Maybe you should suggest counseling if he is hurting the other children it is time to stop this now before it gets worse.
2007-03-28 14:40:14 · answer #9 · answered by mominla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is needing to talk to a professional counceler and not just the ones at the school. There is something that is bothering him and he is not talking but taking it out on the siblings. If you don't do something now, it will get worse.
2007-03-28 15:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋