I had an altercation with my husbands family back in February over something that happened at my son's birthday party. We discussed it and I thought we had moved on. We ended up going to visit his family early this month and we all hung out, went to the beach, and had a great time.
About a week ago, his cousin emails me and sends me a salty message and also deleted me from being her friend on 'myspace'. I could care less about her deleting me because myspace is like whatever. But my question is, how do I handle being around his cousin or family the next time he decides he wants to go visit? Should I not go? Or should I just ignore her?
please help....
2007-03-28 07:26:48 · 12 answers · asked by Jacinda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have had a couple similar situations with my husbands family over the course of our 11 yr marriage. It never pays off to just let tension build and problems linger! Give his cousin a a call and try to work things out! Sometimes I've learned that I have to be the bigger person and take the first step in mending a problem that really isn't mine...all for the sake of my husband and my kids. I've recently decided that it's better for me to just be an "in law" rather than a friend...my sis n law is the one I have the most issues with. I attend family functions and speak in passing but don't try to get "friendly " and involved. This is working better for me!
2007-03-28 09:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may need time away from his cousin to be able to let things cool off a bit. Some of it also depends on how close he is to his cousin. You shouldn't do anything that is going to put you our your family in an akward situation. Obviously if she took you off a friend on myspace, she is trying to cut you out. Take the high road and don't let on to her that she is getting to you. Don't do anything out right mean to her, but don't go out of your way to be overly nice either.
2007-03-28 07:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by heathyre30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call her and get it off your chest, otherwise you will be bitter. Let her know how you feel and if she continue to respond to you in salty way at least you know where you stand with her. You love your husband and you somehow want to have peace with his cousin - (it's not going to be 100% with all the time) in some instances you should ignore it and move on.
2007-03-28 07:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had some BIG fights with my husbands family when we were first together, including his aunt and cousins, as the main source. The next time I saw them I just acted like nothing happened. I smiled, chatted if they talked to me (they didnt to much!). Be nice for your husbands sake. Its still his family, even though we dont like them much at times. Be courteous and they will have to like you!
2007-03-28 07:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bl3ss3dw1thL1f3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband.... and if he already knows, then you be the bigger adult.
Don't let them control you. You have every right to do the "family" things as any one else.
If I were in your situation, the next time I saw her I would smile, laugh, and just let her know that no matter what.... you're not going to let her get under your skin.
what's the point?
Have fun, and good luck~
2007-03-28 07:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat them as you wish to be treated and no differently. Genuine kindness, courtesy and concern will win the most points. You cannot control how others act, only how you react. Take the high road and you will never be disappointed in yourself. In the end that's who you have to live with longest. I truly hope this helps.
2007-03-28 07:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by jhauprich 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes YOU happy and to hell with what they think. If they are so short sighted and unforgiving to just delete you at the earliest available transgression then they aren't the family you should concern yourself with. Love your husband and your children and you can't go wrong!
2007-03-28 07:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by tarough 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should go,it's your husbands family.The problem seems to be with only one cousin so why would you let her keep you away?
The best advice I could give would to be friendly and polite and take it from there.
If you start staying away it will only cause more problems.Stand tall and go.
2007-03-28 07:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is just act as if it dosent bother you. who cares what his cousin thinks. Just ignore her. that will get to her in the worst way and hopefully she will realize that she is being the immature one.
2007-03-28 07:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he wants to see his family and wants/asks you to go....I'd say go....for him. Just be yourself around his family and don't let them intimidate you at all. If they want to act like 5 yr olds, I'd say let them.
Good Luck!
2007-03-28 07:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by S. Marie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋