What is it about parenting that lots of people find so hard?

Question

I really do not meant to cause offensive by asking this question, I am just curious.

SAHMs all say to me how hard it is, but I am a SAHM and I am not finding it hard at all. Does that mean I sm doing it wrong?
I have a clean house, I play with my daughter a lot and take her out different places so what am I missing? What is the hard bit?

As I said I don;t mean to cause offence and I am not smug, I just want to understand! And now I do, it's having more than one that does it.
Guess I will be finding out soon I am having a baby in June!
Thankyou and please don't be mad at ame I am not judging anyone!

Answer 1

I really envy you. I'm a single mum, I got out to work 3 afternoons and 1 morning a week and I find it hard. I'm not complaining, I chose to do this. I don't know if it's actually hard as much as monotonous; there's not a lot of adult conversation in the house and the nights drive me mad (hence all the answers on here!)
Don't get me wrong; I have a beautiful little girl who is everything any parent could want, I love her to bits and I wouldn't be without her for the world. But sometimes I would like just a little bit more, you know? I think it's probably because before I had her, I had a good job, I had money, I went on some fabulous holidays to Jamaica, Egypt and Acapulco, I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, I could have my own life. Maybe if I'd had her before all that I wouldn't feel this way as you can't miss what you never had.
I know this sounds incredibly selfish. I know there are women out there who can't have children and would kill to be in my shoes. But you asked the question so I am answering as honestly and openly as I know how.
Incidently, you haven't offended me, I wish I could feel the same way you do. Good Luck to you, you sound like a lovely girl.




Wow. After reading your replies, aren't there some spiteful mommies out there? Who made you have more than one child, ladies? There are other options out there you know. Women don't actually have to be baby machines in this day and age.

Answer 2

This is just a guess, but I am guessing that your child is low-maintenance. Both my kids had reflux as babies and cried constantly and spit up all over the place - so yeah, that was very time-consuming! There are a FEW babies that are just very compliant from birth and don't require quite the time investment. These babies make parenting look sooooo easy. I don't find parenting 'hard,' exactly, but I don't have many hobbies [other than Yahoo Answers, haha], and always have a long to-do list.

I don't think your question was smug! I'm sorry if others took it that way. There are also kids that are waaay harder than even normal kids, and these parents are more stressed out.

Oh, and I did forget to add - most single children look very well-behaved. There is just something about adding another kid that multiplies the noise by 10x plus adds the element of competition, plus then the child is not just dealing with a mature adult all day, but an immature sibling.

Answer 3

Before my children started school, I use to sound just like you. Now they are in first and second grade and I am feeling a little more stress. I also was a SAHM for seven years and just went back to work at the beginning of this school year. I am finding out now how hard this is, balancing everything. The hardest part about being a parent in my opinion is trying to split yourself in so many pieces. I try to be there for both of my children (taking them to all of their after school activities), be there for my husband, and still find time to still be me... Finding this balance is the hardest part for me. I don't think you sound smug. I just hope that parenting always come easy for you. But it will get harder once your other baby gets here and you are feeling guilty everytime you are spending time with one rather than the other. And then your daughter will start to act up because she is feeling jealous of the new baby. This may not happen at first but I am afraid that it really will. For you, I hope that you are that one mom that is able to find the perfect balance between it all. If you do, I'm happy for you. If you don't, just know you're not alone and I'm sure you are a good mommy no matter what! :)

Answer 4

It's great you're finding motherhood such a positive experience. But like most things in life, there are good sides and bad things to being a parent. Some Stay At Home Mums find it hard stepping off the career ladder for a while. Some families struggle with just one income coming in. Also, as your child grows and starts school and becomes more independant, it can be hard finding an identity as a SAHM. Some fathers find it hard to adjust too. I am glad you are having a positive experience. But don't feel bad if one day you get a bit down. That's normal.

Answer 5

Has your daughter really never had a tantrum ? She`s never cried all night long as a baby or if she`s been ill ? You`ve really never had one sleepless night and felt so tired next morning you just couldn`t face getting up when your daughter wakes up/ cleaning the house/taking care of your daughter/doing the shopping / doing the washing and ironing /making everyone`s dinner / taking the other kids to school and fetching them back home again - oh you just have the one don`t you.... ?
By the way this IS the easy bit - come back in 10/12 years time when she wants to go off by herself, and you`re sick with worry every time she puts her foot out the door, and boys start hanging round and they`re way too old for her, her room`s a mess and she really does not care, and that sweet little mouth that`s smiling at you right now is telling you to "shut up wot do you know !"
Come back then and we`ll talk.
Ah - pregnant - well that explains it ! On a bit of a high are we at the thought of a new cuddly little baby ? Oh dear, there goes that nice clean house, not so much playtime for your little barbie doll, and no time for going out - not to mention less money to go with - ALL CHANGE !!

Answer 6

Parenting is difficult, and like the others said-it only gets harder as they get older. It isn't only about keeping the house clean and playing with your child. As they grow, it is about making the best decisions for your child, guiding them to do the right thing all the time, setting a positive example for them, being involved in every aspect of their lives, eventually letting them make mistakes no matter how hard it is on them so they can learn from it. The list can go on for days...parenting is not easy. I'm glad you have such a positive attitude about it though. Hopefully you can keep that attitude when (and if) you have 2 or 3 more and they are all demanding your atttention at the same time.

Answer 7

firstly what is a SAHM?

and secondly i have 2 kids. My daughter has just turned 3 and my son has just turned 1 (their birthdays are 2 weeks apart) and i find it extremely difficult.

If ones not moaning it's the other. If one has a toy/food/blanket/dummy/drink/crayon/paintbrush/sponge you name it the other one wants it, even though the little that we do have we have 2 of (we foolishly did this in the hopes it would reduce the arguments) I have been diagnosed with post natal depression and let me tell you there are day's i want to kill my kids. I love them to pieces and would fight a tiger barehanded for them but they really know how to push my buttons.

If you have such a good time why are you even worried about what other people do? You obviously get on very well with your daughter and if things are so perfect hun, you should be falling on your knees every night in thanks (i ain't religious but i know i would)

But i have to say the way you have asked that question really comes across as rude and like you just want to blow your own trumpet really so don't be surprised if you get a few nasty responses hun.

I'm glad it's all going well for you. Keep it up x

Answer 8

Wow you also missed out being smug all day as well in your question that must take up a bit of time too.

My best friend had her first child at 17 and suffered really badly from post natal depression - she found it hard to accept she was a good mother as she never had any guidance from family etc she was on valium until her oldest child started school.

I know a lot of people struggle with being a parent it doesnt make them bad people and you shouldnt really be on here judging - why dont you give some advice to these people who dont have a lot of support and dont find parenthood coming naturally to them.

Answer 9

Im like you,Have a clean house and stuff. My son is 10 now so plays outside a lot or with friends. But when he was younger i still found it easy to do all of the above.
However everyone(parent) and child(ren) are different. Also the more you have i suppose the harder it gets.

I really hate it when mums say i cant wait til the kids are back to school on monday etc.....I love my son to bits and love tidying up after him. Wouldn't change it 4 the world.

Answer 10

Stay At Home Mom. The hard part, 2-3-4+ kids and cleaning. The house gets bigger, the bigger the house, the bigger the mess. Once you clean one room and go to the next, the room you just cleaned the kid tornado went through. I work and come home to 3 kids (one on the way) the house doesn't stay clean for 2 minutes. If you want it easy don't have anymore, if you are planning on having more, you will see why some moms complain.