Dated anybody with an STD? Did it work out?

Question

I met a really great guy and was honest enought to tell me about it, now I'm just really scared to put myself at risk...I know things happen but, has anybody been through this? Has it worked?

Answer 1

It really does depend on what it is. If it's treatable, then there shouldn't be a problem, just see a doctor and use protection.

If it's not treatable but not life-threatening (like herpes), then you need to be true to yourself and figure out if you can handle it. If you don't believe in your heart that the relationship will go anywhere serious, then don't do it. He showed enough courage to be honest with you about his condition up front; he deserves the same courtesy to hear about how you feel.

My girlfriend has an incurable STD that she contracted after her ex-husband's affair. I made the conscious choice to be with her because I can truly see myself marrying her in the near future. We are sexually active, but we dated for eight months before sleeping together. I was in the position that you are in now; I didn't know if it was going to work out and I didn't want to be left single with an STD if it didn't. We are as careful as we can be while building a wonderful and otherwise healthy relationship, coming up on a year anniversary next month.

Additionally, I can see it from his point of view. He did the noble and honest thing being up front about this and giving you as much information as you need to decide if you want to be in a relationship with him. You're right, things happen and people make mistakes, and he's trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation.

In the meantime, research everything you can about the STD and speak to medical professionals. Take the time to figure out, if not for his condition, would you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If so, then the condition should not matter, as it has nothing to do with who he is nor how he treats you.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Just because he has incurable STD doesn't mean he isn't worthy of a loving relationship. I'm assuming he has herpes or HPV because if it were HIV I don't think you'd be asking and if it were chlamydia or gonorrhea he just needs to take some antibiotics and he'll be good as new in no time. MILLIONS of couples involve one partner with an STD. If you're serious about him, there are condoms and medication that can prevent the herpes virus from being transmitted, although there is still always the "risk", but no bigger risk than being involved with someone that doesn't know they have an STD and do. At least now you have the knowledge and can protect yourself accordingly.

Answer 4

Well, I haven't been with anyone with an STD, but I do have some advice. If he was good enough and honest enough to tell you, this means that he deeply wants to be with you and sees with you for a long-term relationship. These types of guys are hard to come by. Yes, he's made a major mistake and don't disregard that, BUT sounds like he's turned over a new leaf, and you should give him a chance. Now, a word of advice. Don't have sex with him unless you marry him if you do. If the relationship doesn't work out, you don't want to be stuck with an STD. That'll make it harder for you to find a great guy if they know about your STD. DON'T PUT YOURSELF AT RISK!!! If it works out and you get married, THEN you can worry about it. But don't have sex with him when you're JUST dating. And if you do get married to this guy, you may want to take adoption into consideration. You would be giving up a lot if you had sex with him. I think thats great that he cared enough to be honest and wasn't scared to tell you,but if your not 100 percent sure your not going to get it,then don't do it but if you don't mind having one cause your sure you will be with that person and don't care than its up to you.

Answer 5

Well, no one purposely wants an STD. I dont know what he has, but I have been in the same situation. Use condoms...I cant preach it enough....I will tell you that if you love him....it wont matter in the long run. If he manages the disease properly, it should not matter. And its great he told you. I married the man after two years of dating. Because we were open about it and he properly medicated, I have never had signs or symptoms of the disease to this day and that was 7 years ago.

Answer 6

It is rare to find somebody that honest. That is a really good sign in a really unfortunate situation. If it's something curable, talk to your doctor about when you can safely be with him. If not, I would still ask your doctor for advice. I'm sure he won't hold it against you if you say you don't feel comfortable. I once told someone who seemed like a hypochondriac that had an std so he would stop calling and asking me out, but that's probably not what's going on in your case.

Answer 7

Depends on the std. Contact your doctor or planned parenthood clinic to get the straight story on the risks and what protection should be used.

Herpes is especially contagious and even with a condom and no visible breakout you have a high risk of getting it.

Do not get intimate until you speak with a medical professional. This is your health and body to protect.

Good luck.

Answer 8

It's going to be relative to the people in question, he is very honorable for telling you about it.

However you need to realize what you will not be able to do with someone who has an STD, well at least without giving up a lot.

Balance out your options and base your choices on the correct balance.

Answer 9

i actually went through this with my girlfriend. i had an std i didnt know about from a previous relationship. i started getting symptoms, went to the doctor and got it cleared up, and my girlfriend went and got precautionary medicine for free. that was as simple as that. at the least you should be open to understanding because as long as he told you and he didnt cheat on you, he may not have been able to control that happening to him, and he obviously cares for you or he wouldnt have told you. my girlfriend wasnt thrilled but she was more frustrated at being at the free clinic than that i had an std

Answer 10

What STD? One that could kill you? OR one that you could live with?

I would be his friend, and get to know him real good before I started anything physical! Who knows you might not be compatible but at least he started out being honest with you!