My boyfrined and I missed his friends wedding. We RSVP'd to a limited space type ceremony and reception and didnt show becuase we ended up have company from out of town the same day. not wanting to just show up with company uninvited we no showed. We felt that calling them on that day seemed like the last thing on their minds. What I need is help with an apology letter to go along with the gift we got them. Please help!!
2007-03-28 07:10:10 · 9 answers · asked by thirdeye67 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would send a simple but sincere apology note with the card and the gift. About 8 out of 75 guests that RSVP'd for my wedding did not show up. It's not only about the space, it's about the fact that you pay a certain amount of money for each guest - and that is non-refundable - in my case about $1000. I'm not saying you're a bad person - but perhaps you should plan your social calendar a little more precisely.
2007-03-28 07:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by Catherine T 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First etiquette error. Your friends showing up from out of town unannounced. Never drop in on someone out of town without letting them know you are coming. Your friends were rude and inconsiderate.
However, their lack of etiquette is no excuse for YOUR lack of good manners. You were very inconsiderate and rude and for a simple visit by out of town friends, you missed probably the most important day in your friend's life. Shame on you.
The present is not the issue. You were invited to a wedding, said you were coming and then did a NO SHOW. Imagine if everyone had been as rude as you, no one would have been at the wedding or reception and their most special day would have been ruined.
You need to do more than an apology letter and send a gift. Perhaps giving them a 3 day weekend second honeymoon in six months might make up for your rudeness.
Now go buy an etiquette book and read it so you do not do something equally RUDE and ill mannered in the future.!
.
2007-03-28 15:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The correct thing to do would have been to attend the wedding, and let your unexpected guests fend for themselves for a couple of hours. Surely they could have watched TV, napped or gone off and done their own thing while you were gone. When you RSVP that you will attend any event, you do not allow anything except major illness or a death in the family stop you from attending.
The best you can do is try to mitigate the damage you have done. I would NOT say in the letter that you couldn't make it because of unexpected guests. That will make it seem like you value the last minute guests more than you do the friends who invited you to share their special day.
The only thing to do is apologize. Don't try to explain why; no matter what explanation you give, it will seem trivial compared to a wedding. Simply tell them that you had an unexpected situation come up, and that you are truly sorry for missing their wedding. Hopefully they will forgive you.
2007-03-28 14:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No shows to weddings are always going to happen, however this behavior should not be excused. Whatever you do when it comes to the apology letter, be sincere, but be careful to not make yourself sound selfish, because in reality, your reason for not showing up was a bit selfish.
Another thing you can do is what one of my husband's cousins did. He was one of our ushers and he did show up to do his duties at the church, however he was sick and skipped out of our reception. He and his wife called us about a week later and arranged to take us out to dinner, so they got a chance to catch up with us about everything that happened at the wedding. They were able to spend more quality time with us at dinner than we ever would have been able to spend with them at the wedding. I thought it was a very nice gesture!
As far as a gift goes, go to one of the places that they are registered and get them something nice that they haven't yet received on their registry. You can access their registry even several months after the wedding. If you just get a gift card this will really make it seem like you don't care.
2007-03-28 15:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by heathyre30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person who said you should've just gone. The last minute guests should've either given you more notice that they were coming in the first place or understood that you had a previous commitment. Definitely send a gift and apologize profusely for missing the date. Hopefully they forgive you.
2007-03-28 15:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them the truth, that you had unexpected guests in from out of town. Wish them happiness in the card. That is it.
You did the right thing by not calling them the day of their wedding.
2007-03-28 14:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Please excuse the fact that we were so rude to RSVP and then not be bothered calling when we decided to blow you off. I know it cost you a lot of money for the meals and entertainment we never used, but we decided our guests were more important than our obligations, and picking up a phone. We also justified our inconsiderateness by pretending that you would be too busy to take a phone call."
That about sums it up, doesn't it?
2007-03-28 15:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them exactly what happened. They will understand and be glad you did not show up with extra people!
2007-03-28 16:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just explain the situation. I'm sure they will understand.
2007-03-28 16:41:53 · answer #9 · answered by Terabell_Samantha_Ursula 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋