Should I let go?

Question

I have been with my b-friend for 5yrs. We have a wonderful relationship and the best communication (or so I thought) Lately, he has made his job his priority because he wants to eventually start his own business in that field. He tells me he loves me and is seriously just thinking about BOTH of our futures. I feel lonely and pushed aside, but he gets frustrated when I talk to him about it because he says I just don't understand.

So I bought him this book, it's called "For Men Only" which basically explains a girls point of view that guys just don't get. (Like we need love/attention, not just money & things) He's willing to read it, but he says he is not making any promises.

I really feel unloved sometimes. Do you all think I am pushing it and forcing it to work by making him read a book?? Should I break up w/him & let him focus on his career?

Answer 1

Don't break up with him! Relationships are never easy. Making it in the world of business isn't easy either. Show him you understand and support him 100%. Isn't that what you'd want him to do for you? Cheer him on as he climbs the ladder of success. Be busy bettering yourself with classes, activities and friends. Be his support and encouragement instead of the weight at the bottom of his boat! The only kind of guy who can give you the attention you crave is an unemployed stocking cap wearing loser who hangs out at the mall all day. Be thankful for the man you have.

Answer 2

When you love somebody they should always be your first priority. Opening a business takes a lot of time which you need to try to understand some. If the business is his first priority then youre not as important and you should feel pushed aside because thats whats happening. If he can't see this then you cant fix it. You should give some room for his career and business, after all you wouldn't want a lazy bum that worked 3 months out of every year. At the same time he needs to make you #1. If he does this you will feel loved and wanted while he creating a future of you both. Try starting with a date night, and every other weekend being for you two. For some reason men believe women want diamonds, rings, pearls, etc when all most women want is love and to feel wanted

Answer 3

If he truly is working toward a better future for both of you then I think you 'd better ease up a little.
Make the time you spend together count and keep yourself busy so you don't feel lonely and pushed aside.You need to find some interests other than feeling sorry for yourself.
I know we all need attention but maybe you can help him toward reaching his goal and understanding where he's coming from right now.That would be in your best interest too.
The book could be a good idea but it will not force him into anything.We can't force anyone into doing things they don't want to do.
Maybe you could read the book together and try to set aside some time for spending with each other.
I wouldn't be ready to break off this realationship just yet.If you love him you need to try to work things out before you make any decisions.
Good Luck.

Answer 4

I think you need to go to him and tell him to read the book but in return you want to tell him you are sorry and that you'll be more supportive. Because it sounds like to me he's trying to better himself so that he can take care of you when you all get married. He has to be able to process it all and he wanting to make sure when he does marry that he can properly provide. So just relax a little it will be okay. I know you fell as if he pushing you away he's not he's just trying to do whats best.

Answer 5

I think you should give him some space if you want to make the relationship work. Maybe you should join an outdoors club and go hiking or something. He is thinking about the future for both of you guys. He's working for the relationship. In this case, it is financially, and right now, the emotional part is not as strong. But it'll soon work out.

Answer 6

Why are you so demanding during this hard time for your boyfriend? Let's put you in your boyfriend's shoes.

He's trying to focus on his career TO MAKE YOUR LIFE better. He probably isn't really aware that he's hurting you at all. He's frustrated that he can't give everything to you, since he's trying to work hard.

Right now, as a girlfriend, you should be supporting him 110%, especially if you've been in a relationship for 5 years. He really loves you because he's trying to make a better life for himself and for you, as he has stated. You have to give love to take love. Help him out in this time of need and your relationship will grow.

Answer 7

If he needs to put his job as a priority because of his focus on starting his own business, then let him. You both will still be able to spend time together. The more you pester him about spending time with you, the more he will grow to resent you. Be patient, the end results will be well worth it. Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

Do you want a future with him? Do you plan on marrying this guy? Honestly, if you said yes to these 2 questions you should put all that "emotional" needy crap aside! He needs you right now. He needs to know that you're there by his side supporting him and securing him! Come on, let's not get all womanly here! You're just gonna push him to another woman's arms who will be there for him and support him they way he needs to be right now. Then, you're gonna kick yourself when he leaves you for her and has a bright future with his own succesful business! Sheesh woman...I know you're stronger than that! Come on! If you love this guy...show him...by being there...being strong! Most men get turned off by insecure, whiny, needy women.

Answer 9

You sound like you are fairly young, so why rush things?

Take your time, get to know each other and just have fun. There is plenty of time for the boring serious stuff later and believe me, being in a committed relationship is not all that it is cracked up to be. It can be very difficult.

Answer 10

It seems to me that this guy is trying to better himself and his career for him AND you. Maybe you could get him to commit to a weekly date night. That's what I did with my husband, who was doing the same thing while we were dating. We wouldn't necessarily go out but just had a time that we could spend together. He does need to realize that you have needs too but I think he is trying to be the man in the relationship and better himself so he can provide for you. I know its hard to schedule something every week but it really helped my relationship alot.