He wants me to cut of all guys out of my life..?

Question

hey, the guy im with wants me to cut off all the guys i know out of my life, except my gay best friend. im willing to do anything to keep our relationship strong.. but is there hope for me to cutting every guy i know out of my life? has anyone been there? anyone have an opionion on my situation?

he isnt a bad guy.. well in my eyes he isnt.. he just doesnt want me to talk to guys at late night or whatever.. or like hang out with them.. i think i have bad experience.. some of my guy friends wanted to be more than friends. and one asked to be fcuk buddy.. but im avoiding those types of guys.. i dont mind cutting guys off, because he cuts of girls.... well thats what i know off..

Answer 1

He is being abusive.

Answer 2

Why does the guy you're with want you to severe all relationships you have with other males? Doesn't he trust you? Have you been giving him reasons to doubt his faith in you?

Do more things to show that you are trustworthy if that is the case or just come straight out and ask him what he thinks and why he thinks this; a relationship is also built on good communication.

Both of you in the relationship need to communicate how each others actions makes each other feel; if not if there is no communication then eventually there is bound to be words said that are regretted in the end or something worse may happen.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

Ack. How long have you two been together? How many other signs of being overly controlling does he exhibit? This is a classic "red flag". It's ok for your BF to not want you to hang out with your guy friends a lot, or be jealous or whatever. Guys know what guys are like and what they want. But to demand cutting all guys out completely is a little overboard.

My guess is this: You'll stay with him, you'll cut all your guy friends out and he won't believe you. He'll start doubting that one guy is really gay, and there will be a friend or two you will be accused of talking to. Then he'll get pissed when you go out with your girlfriends or spend too much time at your mother's house or if you share a cubicle with a male coworker. This will drag on for a few years until you either come to your senses and get out, or you get pregnant.

Answer 4

All relationships must be based on a foundation of trust, while saying that, cutting all the male friends out of your life is not a healthy demand. Your guy seems to have some insecurity issues to deal with, or was burnt in the past by an unfaithful girlfriend. He's seems like the controlling, jealous type; and if he is, you shouldn't be that type of relationship.

Boyfriends will always see your male friends are potential threats (see the Ladder Theory - or google "Ladder Theory") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory
which to some extent is true, however it doesn't mean its has to be.

Try building relationships between your male friends and your boyfriend, i.e. group activities, parties etc. Eventually he will see that your male friends are your friends and not trying to "get with you".

In retrospect, do you want him to cut out all his female friends?

Trust takes time to build, "Rome wasn't built overnight"

I wish you two the best of luck.

Answer 5

It's important to understand why he is doing this. Clearly, in this relationship, he is having difficulty trusting you with other straight men. He probably thinks that you are capable of cheating on him if another, perhaps better guy comes around. If you care about him and love him, one way to defuse this situation is by talking to him about this. Even if you do exactly as he asks, the root problem is he doesn't trust you enough in this relationship. A love relationship without complete trust and love will fail.

Besides, it would be unhealthy for you to do as he say. It is not possible to cut off all guys, because you will have to work with guys. And at work, you can't just ignore everyone because you're a person not a robot.

Answer 6

It's good to hear you are willing to keep your relationship strong - but this relationship is not going to be strong or successful with demands like that being placed on you. I have three quick points:
1) I am willing to bet he will not cut all girls out of his life first of all. Do you feel it is fair for you to submit to a request if your partner is unwilling to respond in kind?
2) Neither of you should have to make a sweeping gesture like that in order to stay together. Your friends are a part of your life, and they have helped to shape you and support you in a manner that is different than a romantic relationship can.
3) Trust and insecurity are at the root of this. If your gay friend is the only acceptable one it is because either your boyfriend does not trust you, or he is insecure and jealous of other heterosexual males around you. This is simply not a good foundation to build upon.

I do wish you the best, when it comes to relationships, our feelings often cloud good judgement....but please know that a request like that should be a red flag regardless of how great he makes you feel.

Answer 7

My sister was just complaining about cutting her male best friend out of her life and now (after 6 years) that relationship has ended and she doesn't even know where this friend went.

The thing is, men tend to be a little insecure. Would I cut all these male friends out of your life though? No. Instead, offer up a compromise and instead of doing things alone with these guys - invite your bf to come along so he can get a chance to know them too. But, I see no benefit for cutting out friends when this relationship may or may not last.

Answer 8

If he is doing this, then he is super insecure. I understand not talking to everyone as much, not hanging out as often but to cut everyone off like they aren't your friends would be awful. Unfortunately, friendships do fade when you've commited to a relationship and you may not talk to your guy and girl friends as much because you just get busy, but don't cut people off because you were asked to. HE shouldn't have asked you to do such a thing, he should deal with his insecurities and you can help him by proving you are trustworthy. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You will never be able to cut all men out of your life, nor should you have to. Jealousy and insecurity are not healthy for any relationship, and indulging your boyfriends insecurities will do nothing to help him become more secure or mature. All this does is show that he has an unhealthy amount of control over who you see and what you do. Unless you've given him reason to not trust you, you should not stop your friendships with other men.

Answer 10

Don't be foolish.I would cut "him" out of my life before I would cut out my friends.
He's trying to take control of you and you certainly don't need that.Who will be next?Your girlfriends and your family!!!
He may move on one day and you'll have given up all your friends and for what??
Take a good hard look at this situation and realize this is the wrong thing to do.I think you already know that you should end it.Be wise girl.

Answer 11

Don't do it. A guy that asks you to do that is very insecure and controlling. He should be confident enough in himself and in your relationship that he shouldn't care about other men in your life. Its pathetic and you shouldn't have to change your life or you for him. It will just get worse. After you get rid of your male friends, he won't like your female friends because of the guys they hang with. Then he won't want you to hang out with your family, and so on. No man is worth it.