The guys I've broken up with say that I'm so calm and really never cared about them, but that's not true. I care about the relationships I'm in, and I feel bad but can't bring myself to feel so heartbroken.
2007-03-28 06:32:20 · 17 answers · asked by Loreana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It may be a blow to the guys you break up with but everyone deals with it differently. If you are already ready to move on and want to, then so be it. A lot of people are able to move on quickly.
2007-03-28 06:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by *apes* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use to be like that too. And what I find out about myself is that I did not what to get involved to much where I would get emotional attached. I didn't want to get hurt. And about you going from one relationship to the next that's because you don't like being a lone. And that's not good. I don't know how old you are but you need to find your self. It comes down to that your afraid and you got mix feelings about you and therefore you lose yourself into these relationships that you can only handle for a little while. Therefore your cheating your self. You don't want to become a wife or mother and find yourself single and allow your kids to see you with man after man, because if you don't fix the problem now that's what going to happen. Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has a good book out and easy to read in right to the point. Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives. You should read it and maybe you can find your answer.
2007-03-28 13:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont feel bad. You cared about the relationships but maybe not the guy.. atleast not enough for it to effect you whether you were with him or not. You obviously havent felt that love yet, because if you had.. you would have been more broken up about the break up.
2007-03-28 13:39:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't providing enough detail. If these were committed relationships and included sex, and you don't bond deeply or feel empathy when you break up with them, then it could be you are a non-criminal sociopath or narcissist. Most people feel empathy at the very least.
About 4% of the population are functional, non-criminal sociopaths. That's a lot of people. Maybe you should tell all your dates this when you meet them so the ones who have had to deal with sociopaths and narcissists can cut things off before you do your dammage?
It's just the way some people are: they don't empathize with others. It's a combination of genetic and socialization factors.
At least you aren't hacking people to pieces because it amuses you.
But your question could be paraphrased as "I hurt people, and I don't care" if simplified. Makes you a predator if it is true.
2007-03-28 13:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think that the reason for this is because intentionally u wanted to break up with the guy but u never found the right way or the right time to tell him. by the time u have broken up with him, ur feelings have changed and that's why u no longer wanted to be with him. don think that u have to feel bad like ur heart was broken because i don think that it would be someting u would want. u don want ur heart broken and u definitly DO NOT want to feel bad or depressed that the relationship is over. don worry so much on how u SHOULD feel. just go with WHAT u DO feel. and knowing that the hard feelings aren't there, deeep inside u know that that wasnt the guy for u. the guy that makes u feel head over heels for him.
i hope this helps
2007-03-28 13:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by savannah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I completely understand what you're talking about! I am the same way!!! I don't why it is either. Even when I've fallen deep for a guy...sure it hurts when it's happening (when you're breaking up) but afterwards I'm fine. I have total self control about not calling them or anything. It's weird. I guess we're just strong? I don't know...good question!
2007-03-28 13:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by batchick5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you move on so easily because you really didn't care about the relationship like u said you did and u didn't care about him, because if you really did you would miss things and that would stick with you for a while , instead of moving on to another guy , and probably doing the same thing then moving on to another and another, ... grow up you don't know what love is.
2007-03-28 13:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by faygo_foamy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years and didn't shed a single tear for him. I had been unhappy, and realized we didn't work as a couple.. so I didn't feel heartbroken, just.. different.
It's easy as you're able to rationalize your emotions and keep them in check, instead of being a flubbering female.
2007-03-28 13:38:00 · answer #8 · answered by MBE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone deals with pain of heartache in their own way. the fact that you move on means you enjoy life. enjoy today.
doesnt mean that you dont care. you hide it well because you want to enjoy life, not cry about it. your ex guys want you to be pining away for them...that's their way? did you care about them/him when you were together? if you continue to mope and be depressed over a relationship that has ended, means youre not living in the present, means youre living in the past. your ex's want you to be unhappy....so they can be happy? doesnt make any sense, does it. maybe theyre the ones that didnt care about your happiness and youre right to move on. peace
2007-03-28 13:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have not find the right guy yet. When you do you will be a lot more passionate about the relationship.
2007-03-28 13:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋