as an adoptee... im almost 18 and i can look 4 my mother with out my parent permission but how they feel? am i wrong for doing this. please be honest....
2007-03-28 06:29:38 · 21 answers · asked by tee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No its not wrong, they just dont want to let you go, u had them your whole life your theres, they just want to protect you cuz ur real mother lost you or gave you up because of a reason and they dont want that reason to hurt you or come back to life.
Its up to you, if i was adopted i would. good luck and be safe
2007-03-28 06:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is how you feel you are not doing wrong.
Sit down with your parents and have a good talk about your feelings and why you want to do this.They will still be your parents no matter what and I'm sure they will understand.Let them know they are still no.1 in your life and always will be.
If they have hurt feelings it will only be because they are afraid of losing you.You'll have to reassure them that this will not happen.
Include them and keep them imformed about your search and this will help to reassure them.
I am an adoptee who never got the chance to know my dad and it's bothered me all my life.I wish you all the very best in your search and pray all goes well for you.God Bless you my dear.
2007-03-28 06:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's wrong. You have every right to find out who your parents are. But I think as a mother I would definitely be hurt because it's kind of scary to think that the little girl who you once raised and love will one day want to know who her real mom is and probably forget about what you guys had together. I'm not adopted so I can't really say that I've been in that situation but I'm speaking as a mom. Just don't get your hopes up I mean if you find her then it was meant to be but if you don't just remember that you will ALWAYS have someone who truly loves you, that they chose you out of everyone else. And if you do find her please always have a special place in your heart for your mother - that is your real mother- the one who raised you and cared for you all this time.
Any time a child leaves home or grows up it's always hard, i know it sounds silly but my kids are only 3 and 7 and even i get all teary eyed when i think about them leaving home someday. Just talk to your mom and reassure her that you'll always love her no matter what, but this is just something you want to do for yourself and not to worry. She probably also feels like she wants to protect you from what you might find out or any disappointments. Just put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her, but i think she should do the same. Good luck with your search!
2007-03-28 06:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by spring 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wouldn't say your where wrong. But I would talk to your parents about it. They took you in and loved you as there own, and I'm thinkin thats true cause you care enough to worry about there feelings, so I would give them the respect that they deserve and tell them. But they also should be understanding to your feelings. But a word to the wise, I have a Family member who found there biological parents, and it was a horrible meeting. And they regretted it after the fact. Good luck either way.
2007-03-28 06:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing your history is your birthright. Don't let people who aren't adopted tell you how you should feel. They don't have a clue what it feels like to be adopted.
I told my adoptive mother that I was searching out of respect for her. It was her choice not to support me in my decision. And it's her loss not to understand the importance of this.
Find a support group of adoptees either close to you or online, but don't let anyone tell you how you should feel.
2007-03-29 04:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by Theresa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to want to seach for your birth mother and father. Hopefully your parents will be supportive and will help you to search.
Finding birth parents does not mean you are giving up your Mom and Dad- but trying to fill in the big void- the missing pieces of your life.
Best wishes
from a grandma aged person
2007-03-28 07:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to look for your real mother. I am sure you love you adopted parents and appreciate them raising you, but you are a person who needs answers. You parents may be hurt and feel they did not succeed in making you feel like their child. But you need closure and finding your real mother may answer some questions you have to be able to go on in life. It does not mean you will love them any less, only more because they took you in and Loved you as their own.
2007-03-28 06:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by true2b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are wrong for be curious, but I would have a talk with your parents and see how they feel about the situation. Just don't ever forget that they raised you and loved you so there for they will always be your parents. Good luck
2007-03-28 06:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why after all this time are you choosing to look for your mother?? Has she had contact with you and wanted to see you?? You may be suprised with what you find... I would find out the circumstances behind you being "adoptable" before I looked.. I have two adopted children and know the circumstances of why they were put up for adoption would crush them and do more harm than good...Talk to your parents first.. Remember, you were lucky... You were chosen to be special.... Good luck...
2007-03-28 06:38:22 · answer #9 · answered by Its me!!! :) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are almost 18, you are old enough to sit down with you parents and discuss it with them. Tell them that they will always be your mom and dad, but you'd like to know more about the person who gave you life.
2007-03-28 06:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by searching_please 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋