What would you advise. Lost job cos of constant bombardemnt of calls from homeless Mother and Grandmother?

Question

My 60 year Mother and 82 Grandmother are broke.They are currently in a budget hotel. and my OCPD (refuses treat)brother who left them high and dry and in a Hotel for 6 months everyday telling them he was organizing a house for them when he was in S of France living high life with Russian model. I tell them that they could go into temp council acc or use £12,000 I gave them to rent for 6 months and stay off my back i could actually help them in about 6 monthsThey spent all £$ from house sale(£230,000) on 5 years of rentals,3-5 * hotels.. I borrowed some cash but paid it back even though Grand likes to invent and tell everyone she lent me times 3 what she did. I found so many decent apps for them 4 years ago when there was still $£. Mother only wanted luxury and Grandmother (she had mental illness in past) threatened suicide when i suggested a warden assisted flat. IT GOES ON AND ON. I had a nervous breakdown before Dec and love my wife and kids and cannot risk it again.

My grandmother and Mother and Brother have extremily dominent personalities. He split the moment he sold a building plot that should of been used to help them Now i am left with the burdon. My father owned land in Cuba(unsellable) and venezuela(difficult) which I will sell but there are many complicated issues there which I cannot go into now. You see they only trusted my brother and he kept this land issue from me (till2 yrs ago)since i married a Black Cuban woman who they see as undesirable (they are white english). they tried to destroy my marriage. Accused my wife of everything under the sun.from voodoo(she is a devout new born Christian) to trying planning to kill me so she could get that DAMBED land. They had no proof cos at that stage hadnt even met her. I slipped my disc and stopped working as a tennis coach cos of my Beloved grandma.She screamed so much during removal about boxes in living room that I lifted about 15 of them to garage. This is only 10% of what has happenned

My grandmother and Mother and Brother have extremily dominent personalities. He split the moment he sold a building plot that should of been used to help them Now i am left with the burdon. My father owned land in Cuba(unsellable) and venezuela(difficult) which I will sell but there are many complicated issues there which I cannot go into now. You see they only trusted my brother and he kept this land issue from me (till2 yrs ago)since i married a Black Cuban woman who they see as undesirable (they are white english). they tried to destroy my marriage. Accused my wife of everything under the sun.from voodoo(she is a devout new born Christian) to trying planning to kill me so she could get that DAMBED land. They had no proof cos at that stage hadnt even met her. I slipped my disc and stopped working as a tennis coach cos of my Beloved grandma.She screamed so much during removal about boxes in living room that I lifted about 15 of them to garage. This is only 10% of what has happenned

Answer 1

Try explaining to them that you can't keep financially supporting you're wife, kids, and them too. You have tried to help them. You've bent over backwards for them. Times like these calls for compromise. My mother always said "beggars shouldn't be choosers" meaning when you've got nothing you take what you can get. The hardest thing for people to do is to take a step down when they're use to a certain style of living. But when you have no money, you have to prioritize the things you absolutely need over the things you want or think you deserve. You're mother is going to have to give up a little luxury to get what is affordable. You can't take care of everyone. If you have a nervous breakdown, and can't work how are you going to be able to take care of your wife and children? And you certainly won't be able to help your mother and grandmother.
I know you must love your mother and grandmother, but they are going to have to compromise. Sit down with a budget and list of places they can afford. If they don't like it just tell them it's either this or nothing. If they can't settle for what you can help them get, then they can find a way to afford what they want on their own. You're going to have to learn to walk away. It may be hard for them and you, but they can't keep draining you that way or you won't be able to help anyone at all. My advise may not be the best for you, but it's something to think about. Good luck

Answer 2

Sounds like your mother and grandmother need some financial advise. To blow that much money from the sale of a house is sad. To have lived that long and not learned how to manage money says something is wrong. You did what you could. If you let this continue you will be an enabler and they will never learn to be self sufficient. I don't know what kind of assistance is available from where you live, but maybe they should consider swallowing their pride and apply. Better than being homeless. Your wife and children need you. . . healthy in mind, body, and spirit. Take care.

Answer 3

Enough is enough. I know you love them but you have to put your wife and kids first priority. They are the most affected if you don't know that yet. Hard as it may seem, Ignore them and tell them they are on their own.

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Answer 4

please take care of yourself, nobody is worth a nervous breakdown, you must exit the scene, wish them well, and be civil but they have made their choices--it will never ever stop, unless you stop it--your real family needs you.

Answer 5

Move very far far away from them. No one, whether they're family or not, is worth all of that crap.