My daughter hasn't seen her dad since she was 4.Her father has a finace that has child that he lives with in another state. I don't think he is a bad person I am just not sure I should let my daughter visit ebing so young and so far away from me. He doesn't call me regularly and he doesn't finically support her, but I want her to know both sides of her famil. And if I do decided to let her go how long should the visit be?
2007-03-28 06:06:28 · 20 answers · asked by MiZZ707 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, if he wants to see her I think he should find a way to come there himself. Get a room in a nearby hotel, leave the fiancee at home and then you can supervise as needed. He should do this several times before you should even CONSIDER sending your 6 year old that far away from mom. Too scary, too unpredictable, too much to handle. She not only needs to know that mom is there if she gets scared, she needs you there to answer questions and help her emotionally until she gets to know dad a little better.
If he gives you some bs about not being able to afford it, or can't get time off of work, etc. etc. TOO BAD. If it mattered, he'd find a way.
2007-03-28 06:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by robin0408 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one. I am still in contact w/ my ex, and he hasnt paid child support in over a year. In Michigan, a father has a legal right to see his child, regardless of child support; I don't know if it is the same where you live, but I would look into it if I were you. Check to see if you have "Friends of the Court" to assist you with this, because you may be legally obligated to let him see her and although he's not bugging you now about seeing her, he could come after you legally for keeping her from him. As far as how I personally feel on this one, I would say find out if you are legally obligated to let him see her. If you are not, I would say NO, don't send her to see him. The bottom line is that he does not support her like a good dad should, but is off w/ another woman making another family. There's no knowing what kind of mental confusion & hurt your daughter will go through at such a tender age, and you could spare her all of that. My daughter will not be going to see her father until he starts paying child support again (he's in another state as well) it's not the money, it's the principle of the matter; if he can't be a stand-up enough guy to help you pay for a child he helped create, then what kind of a father do you think he'll be? Let him know he's more than welcome to come & visit her if he wants to be a genuine dad, and show some enthusiasm or her presence, but you should NEVER have to take her to him, at all. I hope this helped. Best of Luck!
2007-03-28 13:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by Spiral_Dancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Let her visit. My sister had another dad in California and he is remarried with a new son and she stays for 2-4 weeks in the summer every year since she was 3! You can ask the airline if they have a "babysitting program" on the plane. They charge a bit extra, but one of the workers will check on your daughter, and make sure she gets picked up by her father off the plane. Call your daughter every night to ask how her day was and see if she is happy there. I'm sure she will have a blast! I would make the first trip for only 2 weeks, if it is successful than the next trip could be for 4 weeks. I know it can be scary but, It will be OK.
2007-03-28 13:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by stick_e_bun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your 6 year old if she wants to go. If she says yes let her go for a week call her ask if she wants to stay longer. If she says yes let her stay another week. Maybe by letting him see his child he'll grow up and start supporting her. If you don't let her go when she gets older she will blame you. That's what kids do. You being both mom and dad you do all the punishing, loving, teaching etc, while he doesn't have any responsibly. You will look like the bad guy. Also take him to court for child support. This will help him in the long run to grow up, you could use the money to help give your child move, and shes entitled to it. If when you ask her if she wants to go and she says no tell him she isn;t ready yet. If he gets mouthy tell him she might want to visit if she knew him, if he called her, if he sent money for her etc and mention that he only as his self to blame by not being a daddy for years. Any men can be a father even male dogs, being a father isnt being a daddy.
2007-03-28 13:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he would have to come and see her a few times before she goes away with him. If he has not seen him in 2 years then those few visits before will help determine if he should go stay with him in another state for a week or two.
2 years is a long time for a child and just to ship off your kid to a stranger to them is tramatic. I feel if he can get some visits prior and see how she is with him then I think your decision will be easier to make.
2007-03-28 13:12:10 · answer #5 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definatly think you should give it a try. Talk with your daughter and ask her how she feels about seeing daddy and being far away from mommy. I would make the first visit a short one like 2 days and go longer next time if things go well and she enjoyed the stay. she may not due to being away from her comfort zone which is you. I think it sucks he dosent help support her make him pay for the trip or something.
2007-03-28 13:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by ByouTfull 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know in your state but in ours it doesnt matter about child support they do have the right to visit each other. Yes I would also be concerned of the age traveling alone and so far away. but maybe a middle ground could be made to start it off. a happy medium. thsan once some trust has been established longer times. but knowing that she has two families would be an asset to her in her growing up yrs. but middle ground would be maybe meet half way, visit and go on your own way or he come to visit to established his getting to know her and trust for you. just a thought.....
2007-03-28 14:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by shakannaglory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm living in California,just moved here from Cleveland and having a real hard time getting my daughters mom to let her come visit me. I was hoping for only one/two weeks. In your situation the dad has too many gaps in their relationship so i wouldn't advise you to get soft on the matter. Start by letting him see her first until you feel comfortable with the situation. GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-28 13:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by mofinesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definetely not. If he wants to see her tell him to come to you at least until he builds a solid relationship with your daughter. After 2 years that would be tramatizing to a child to be pulled away from her mom to visit a stranger even if it was only for a short time. Tell him to start being a "Daddy" first!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-28 13:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by Amber 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would go with her if possible for a short visit. especially because your daughter hasn't seen him in so long and she is so young she may be uncomfortable and want her mom around! or if that doesn't work for you try and get him to come and see her. i wouldn't let her go see her dad that she hasn't seen in 2 years by herself when she's so young
2007-03-28 13:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋