i am a 26 yr old female and i am dating a 32 yr old male. we have been together for almost a yr and a half now. i love him to pieces!! however, there is one concern, our lack of intimacy. we have issues with showing one another that we are "in the mood", one being in the mood and other not, or we plan to have sex and then never do becuz something comes up. no pun intended. we can go for 2-3 wks without having sex. and it doesnt seem to bother him. but it bothers me. am i doing something wrong? am i not good enough? is he interested/repulsed?
i would just like to add that when we do have sex, it feels great, the emotion is there, love, caressing, kissing, exotic, all of it and we make sure that the other is satisfied completely.
so what the heck is going on??????????
2007-03-28 06:04:58 · 21 answers · asked by sabylady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have read most of ur answers so far, with the exceptions of a few they are great!!
together we have 5 kids in our house, he works fulltime, come straight home after work and is here till the next morn to do it all over again. i work part time in the evenings, if there was a girl coming in and out of my house i would kno, the kids would tattle!!
maybe he just has a lower drive becuz of his age. that is a possibilty. but it does not explain y we were sexually fine 9 mths into the relationship. then i read that maybe its just becuz we are not a "new" relationship and that things have become comfortable. that could be true too.
and another note, i have talked to him about this and we are trying to make things better in that area of our relationship. i cannot help but think that this is something that will not change and that i should just get used to it. well i dont want to get use to it, nor do i want to be the reason our sex life is slim to non. so what do i do?????
2007-03-28 06:42:38 · update #1
you my dear are approaching your 30's and you are wanting sex more frequently. He on the other hand is out of his 20's and winding down on his sexual urges. Its a common problem with couples. There are things he can take to help boast his desires aka testosterone. He should talk to his Dr. about. Be sure to be understanding to him as he should be understanding to you as well.
I wish you both long and happy life together. Things will work out.
2007-03-28 06:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure its not your "sex-skills" first of all. It could be a lot of things tho. Stressful day jobs & taking work home? Or maybe it is the trigger - not getting the hints out there. He may just not be one of those guys that starts it, you may have to be a main initiator. So work a lot on seducing him when you are in the mood. Hint before you go to bed maybe?? If someone doesn't have a high sex drive, they usually can be "talked" into it.
From a personal experience, I realized I was focusing alot on one thing that was bothering me & it ended up causing a riff that I wasn't even aware I was causing because of just relaxing, I became focused & obsessed. If you are focusing on quantity maybe that is causing you stress and not sending the right trigger.
2007-03-28 13:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by stepss1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of us women out here who are just flat, plain old SEX STARVED! I am saying that bluntly.
You can talk about it till the cows come home. Nothing ever changes. Men like for every thing to be their idea. That includes the sex!
And they wonder why we find some one else!
2007-03-28 13:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow your intimacy is short circuiting. Your issues are something you two have to talk about. For you it is quantity. Are you in love with him and is he in love with you? If you are, that leads to passion which leads to desire. He is part of the equation. There are a million good reasons to have sex, but we tend to find several bad ones and we are not satisfied. You have to share your desire, passion and feelings for your significant other. Your concerns are such that they should be his concerns as well.
2007-03-28 13:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you just have a higher sex drive than he does (there is a little bit of age difference here too) Make your concern about this known to him and make time for it (cut the phone lines lock the doors ect.) P.S. Jump him the next time your in need my guess is he will join in....
2007-03-28 13:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl when it's good like that u want it everyday and night I know how u feel. Maybe he's seeing someone else or he may just like to make it really special by waiting 4 a special occasion. LOL!!!!!!! Ask him what's the problem and tell him u need it more, sounds like someones addicted!!!
2007-03-28 13:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by sweet p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see no problem in this. This is great.
Even if it goes two weeks that you haven't had sex, believe me, after your relationship goes further deeper, you may not even have sex for one month... and one day you will have and feel great.
You cannot be rabits all your life. Relationship isn't only sex. It is everything. As long as he is not moaning (some men can be dramatic troubles giving us forces for having sex even if we are throwing up with sickness) - enjoy it, be happy and don't think too much!
2007-03-28 13:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just start kissing on his ear and all the stuff that you normally do and ask him what turns him on. if it won't get up after kissing all over him then you'll know its a hard on problem. But if he spends a lot of time away from you then someone else could be wearing him out before he gets to you.
2007-03-28 13:09:48 · answer #8 · answered by Diamondbch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weird,
try and initiate the sex at night or in the morning. wake him up by giving him oral, this will show him that your willing to try different things and if he has went off sex, this will get him as excited as a teenager,
but dont dress up yet, make him do things so hel deserve such a treat
good luck
2007-03-28 13:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by Robocop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard that a guy doesn't have sex with his girlfriend for only two reasons. 1. He's not that into you or 2. He's gay.
Otherwise, this only happens after twenty or thirty years of marriage.
2007-03-28 13:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by robin0408 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋