Domestic violence- How to Drop the charges?

Question

I am in New jersey. In anger, I hit my my wife. she called 911. I was arrested. Now we both felt sorry about our actions.she want to drop the charges.
Attroney asking 750$ for each sitting and he says it may take 3 to 4 sittings. I can't afford that much.

Is it possibe to drop charges?
Can we drop the charges without hiring a Attorney?

Please guide us...

Answer 1

No, you can't drop the charges.

When a phone call to the police was made, the "system" became a part of your lives.

Even if your wife were to call the prosecutor and say, "I want to drop the charges," the prosecutor will correctly tell her it is no longer in her hands. The State of New Jersey can prosecute the case even when the victim is not cooperating.

TV perpetuates the misconception that citizens have control over a case if it goes through or not by either pressing or dropping charges. This is absolutely not true. The State only has to determine there are enough facts in an incident to fit the elements of a crime. Only they can determine whether or not a case gets dropped or continues.

States are even more determined to prosecute cases of domestic violence. As many as 90% are false reports because one individual gets mad or wants revenge. States tend to prosecute diligently because they do not appreciate being used as a "slap on the hand."

So the answer is no....you cannot drop the charges and you will DEFINITELY want an attorney.

Answer 2

You can't once charged. One reason for this is because the usual pattern is that abused women often forgive the husband and then it happens again and again. The law generally is not going to believe anybody involved especially because a real man never hits a women regardless of the circumstances. And once the police get involved the suspect a couple that can't just quit whatever is going on when the police come.

I don't care where you live $750 three times is a total ripoff. That one time or a thousand ONE time is about right to handle it since it is not all that complicated. Once he has the facts he will have all he needs to know.

If you were drinking go to AA before you go to court even if it is a pain. You could look into anger managment before as well. Ask the lawyer about this.

Depending on if you have a record you could go to court without a lawyer with her with you. Any parents or family attending would help as well so the judge knows that other people are watching. And yes she should send a letter to the judge.

Either way you will get probation and if the police ever again come for any reason it will be all over for you. Mental note.... regardless of the situation never hit her and leave the house if you have to.

Answer 3

Thats why there is law and order, if everyone walked around trying to get their charges dropped this would be one sorry society.

If you can't do the time dont do the crime.
You both need major domestic violence intervention or it will happen again to learn how to deal with stressors and pressure.

As the batterer you need an anger management assesssment and follow the recommendations, start working on your problems so by the time the court date arrives, you will be way into working or learning to work out your problems in a civilized adult manner.

Answer 4

First of all, William is a moron- if he doesn't think that fighting takes two people, he is clueless as to how anger escalates. He has no knowledge of the fight, and there is no way to tell if she did anything wrong. I know it's hard to control your temper, I have one too, but yea, you are gonna get people's attention if you hit anyone, but you know that.

I don't know about New Jersey, but in California and Arizona, you don't even need a spouse to PRESS charges. If there is any evidence of spousal abuse, it's too late, you're charged by the police. I've even seen loving couples brought to their offender classes BY the spouse that was hit.

It doesn't matter if it is in anger- when else WOULD you hit someone? In happiness?

There are much cheaper attornies- I'm not saying pro bono, that's insulting to the attorney who has spent so much money in law school, but every major city has these sessions once a week with kids who are in law school or just out who will give you better advice than you can get from me or anyone on this site. Call up your nearest law school, and see where they are holding their seminar.

It is very expensive to get involved with the law, and you might have to go to class for a year. You probably could use the class, and if you get a conviction on this, it's so hard to deal with people who know about it. You will be in a group of people that you dont' even want to be associated as being on the outskirts of this group.

Also, don't they have court appointed attornies at no charge? I always hear that when people are getting their rights read to them

Answer 5

Um,... you just admitted that you did it! Take responsibility for your actions!

You can't get the charges dropped - Domestic Violence laws require prosecution except in extreme circumstances.

Save the money, don't hire an attorney; plead no-contest or guilty and ask the prosecutor for a deal (negotiation) which includes staying out of trouble for a year and then reduces the charge to public nuisance.
Apologize in open court and ask for mercy. There are mandatory minimums, but usually they can be changed to community service and counseling.

--Z--

Answer 6

Don't hide behind anger, you wanted the last word in your argument and used violence to do it. However you learned this pattern it is unlikely that this will be a one off unless you seek assistance and this DOES NOT mean couples or relationship counselling, these interventions can put additional pressure on your partner to change when she doesn't have to, You do.

There are a great many reasons for which a woman will withdraw charges following an assault, that is not to say that she hasn't been deeply hurt by your actions

Answer 7

I'm not sure about New Jersey, but in Kansas, it is not the victim that files the charges in a DV case. The State, through the officers on the case, actually file the charges. If there is evidence of battery, the batterer is going to go to jail. If the battering was mutual, both parties are going to jail.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

If you hit her once, you'll hit her again, no matter what your intentions are. Experience and statistics don't lie. Either way, I think you deserve to pay for what you did, as well as go to Anger Management and marriage counseling. It's probably way too late to drop charges and even if she does, the state has already picked them up- meaning it won't change a thing if she does. Please use this as a wakeup call for you. A woman-no matter what- should NEVER be hit by a man. It was a very cowardly thing to do. You are lucky her family hasn't come after you yet.

Answer 10

There is NO excuse for hitting your wife, period. Instead of trying to weasel out of the situation, how about you take responsibility for your actions? In addition to cooperating with the legal consequences, you should also find a good anger-management program and seek relationship counseling.