For no specific reason... It annoys me like you wouldn't believe. I'm especially bothered when they want me to call to say goodnight. Good grief, I try to read a bit before I go to bed... Usually I want silence, not a boring conversation. Am I alone here? Or am I just a miserable person?
2007-03-28 05:46:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd go crazy with anyone, even a loved one, calling me several times a day! I can't understand how often people call each other with cell phones; when the train is even five minutes late, several people will call home to say they're going to be a little late... really, I'm an adult... sometimes I stop by the store on the way back from the station, sometimes I don't... sometimes I run into someone I know and I talk for five minutes. Sometimes I buy a few train-tickets for the next week. I don't know to the very last minute when I'm going to be home and it'd make me feel trapped and watched like Big Brother if I had to inform people about stuff like that... or at the store, people are shopping, a certain brand of cereal is sold out and they call hom to ask whether they should now buy brand x or y instead? I don't like phone calls at all, and several a day would drive me nuts!
2007-03-28 05:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is very common when the relationship is just starting out. You are not alone though, I think everybody wants some time to themselves sometimes, especially before bed when we are trying to unwind. If you continue with the relationship, the calls most likely will not be as intense. However, if they don't settle down, then this may indicate a controlling type of behavior that you may not want to deal with. Also, if it does bother you, have a talk with the person and tell them how you feel about so many calls a day. If they do care about you, they will understand and try to compromise.
2007-03-28 13:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by HachiMachi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say before you get any further in the relationship that you hash out that problem before it becomes something so big you end up resenting that person for. Maybe they like to hear your voice, maybe they are controlling, maybe they are paranoid or maybe they just really want to talk- some people just like to call and talk to the person they are dating.
What i have found is that is usually happens in the beginning of a relationship- when everything is all fresh and new. But if you really just want them to call every so often, and not before ed you have to tell them that.
You aren't miserable but if you are truly into someone- hearing their voice would be a great thing- not loathsome.
Also though- moderation is the key- if they are calling you on every break, every hour on the hour or all the time when you are busy you need to set the phone down.
or at minimum when they call say thanks for calling- it was great hearing from you but right now isn't a good time- ill catch up with you tomorrow or later.
I call my fiance when change of plans happen or something needs his immediate attention so he doesnt worry- otherwise all else can wait until he gets home from work. No need to bother him.
2007-03-28 12:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have gotten a lot of useful comments and suggestions. my 2 cents would be......that I am currently in a situation where I get NO call...lol (I am laughing but it is actually sad) from this person I like. I am dying to hear from him. He has a very independent style of being. So I consider you damn lucky.
I do want to hope that you truly love him?
Granted you are getting annoyed, and we all do even with loved ones, but just make sure it's not because you both aren't on the same page feelings wise.
How often people call depends on their "styles" as well. If I were in a relationship, I'd be in touch with my loved one quite often. not intentionally, but it's the way I am. I guess some people are naturally a lil needy or the connecting types.... and some are a lot more secure and independent.
Ofcourse you know him best, but I have had that happen with an ex...and I felt he was in love, but quite controlling as well. His calling so many times was a sign of his controlling and possessive nature (in his case).
2007-03-28 15:13:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I think you're right, of course I love hearing from my boyfriend I feel like calling so many times is more a way to keep track of me lol but luckily my current boyfriend feels the same way so we just text message a few times a day to say hi and see how we're doing/what we're up to and if we want to get together or not. We do text goodnight though lol.
But I think this is an easy way to avoid dull and pointless conversation and still stay in touch to show that we're thinking about eachother!
2007-03-28 13:17:26 · answer #5 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a boyfriend like that. He called me all day at work and I would tell him look I have to work he get all mad and tell me that was more important then him. 20 Min's later he call again. He called me at work at least 9 times and right when I get home the phone will be ringing and it would be him. And he call me at least 12 times and right before I go to sleep. He was a bug. After a month I let him go. I couldn't deal with it know more. And after I broke it off with him he starting calling my friends. And about him calling my job I had someone tell him I don't work there any more. And he still try calling the house over and over finally I meet someone else and I had him get on the phone to tell him that he was my new boyfriend now, I had to or other wise he would still be calling. Your not a miserable person he is. If you do like this guy and want to stay with him tell him nicely that you don't want him calling you every 4Min's because you have things to do and if that don't work then its up to you to leave it or take it.
2007-03-28 13:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the expectations of both parties. I don't like the calls where the person is calling clearly to check up on you. It's okay for me if the person is calling to say good night. Some people like to be on the phone with each other 24/7 (and i mean, literally, and this really scared me when my roommate used to do that) and some people prefer to be like you and save the phone calls.
2007-03-28 13:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by yukidomari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call him a partner -- if you don't want to say goodnight to someone that you are into -- you probably are not really that into him. Or you may be just a miserable person, in which case you should have no trouble expressing your unhappiness. At the very least, you sound very independent.
If it's just someone that you are casually dating, your honesty would probably be appreciated, so he doesn't think that you actually want him to call and you can work it out from there.
2007-03-28 14:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you have chosen to have a boyfriend that you dont like, and do find annoying, you may not enjoy the phone conversation..........but I think if you love that person, you should be thankful that they are thoughtful enough to call you thruout the day and see what's going on in your life........and if you dont feel that way, then you may need to do some re-thinkin' your relationship with him.......or tell him you need some space, man!
2007-03-28 13:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by it'sjustme79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - I am leaning towards the miserable person side of the choices. I don't know you or anything but gosh how hateful. The poor chump just wants some contact - some attention.
2007-03-28 16:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋