time apart??

Question

me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years and everything has been great. These past 4 months we have been going through a rough time and we found out that we have issues in our selfs that affect our relationship.
( insecurities, frustration, things that we've carried from the past before we met eachother maybe past relationships who knows) we decided to take time apart to fix those issues and then focus on our relationship without those issues. Its been really hard for me to give her/us the time and space to fix those things, becuase i get scare ill loose her ( 1 of my issues ) my question is have any of you gone throught the same thing and have you overcome those (problems) and made things work after? any advise can help. Thanks.

Answer 1

well i havent gone thruigh that situation but i am damn sure u can bith overcome it, thats what the short separation is for, to think about the problems and try to find the answer to solve it, so i think u should do that and ditn worry about thinking u'll lose her, cuz if she loves u she will be urs. its like that saying, if u have a peagion, dove or something like that, let it fly, if she returns it means it was urs and if she doesnt it never was.

Answer 2

Time apart to sort personal issues can be constructive but the duration of being apart is questionable. No one can be certain such a way out can guarantee confrontation of personal issues and actually make a relationship work or stronger. I would think personal space is vital and healthy regardless of insecurities. Assurances help when it comes down to the crux because they serve to relay to the person of utmost importance their role in our lives. Perhaps this advice is worth pondering over: You don't stick with someone you can't live without. You will be better off with someone who complements you in a union made stronger owing to absence yet fortified because deep down inside, you TRUST they'd never leave. The Past is over & Communication is KEY. Address the issues objectively though it tough. I honestly feel when a mate cites "time apart" and especially if there's a ton going on for them i.e. work, external factors etc... it's usually detrimental as they probably already feel tiresome to go on for the long haul and are just looking for an excuse to want out. Else, it's usually better that you both really talk it over as 4 years is a mighty long time. Peace!

Answer 3

I personally haven't gone through that but...good for you guys for realizing this. I def think it will help your relationship but don't go too long. I think a few weeks is sufficient. You won't have totally changed your issues but you'll have time to work on them together. If you wait any longer the relationship may get lost. Good luck =]

Answer 4

me and an ex girlfriend had same problem she was a real bunny boiler though. end up she wanted break and she cheated on me as she thought i done the same on her. maybe not in your case this is the same thing.

dont take time apart, sit down chat with her and forget the past look to the future. no point in going over the past with your mistakes when all they do is start fights or arguments.

Answer 5

Yeah a separation worked for me & my wife. There are phases people need to go through, regardless of if you are in a relationship or not. Sometimes the relationship itself prevents those phases, but those phases still exist and must be cured.
ps you shouldn't listen to me because i am mildly crazy

Answer 6

Don't take any time apart. Try working your problems out together. Trust me this will make you closer to go through something so important together. You'll be growing into better people TOGETHER.

Answer 7

I hate to say this, but I feel that time apart is an easier way to break-up. If you love someone, I think you should be able to work things out together. Time apart gives he/she the opportunity to say, we'll we were apart at the time...............uh, no. I wish you the best of Luck

Answer 8

Why does it have to be worked on apart? Help each other