i have an 11 mo. old and i stay at home with him...everytime i walk out of his eyesight even to use the restroom he goes ape. this is not a single parent home. what can i do to stop this? seriously, i cant hold him 24/7!
(and by the way he can still be fed changed happy and playing with his toys then he hears me get up to walk out of the room to do something and he goes ballistic) so no im not neglecting my child
2007-03-28 05:37:56 · 7 answers · asked by etherialdowntime024 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Separation anxiety is a natural stage that babies and toddlers go through. You can't "stop" it, although you can *ease* your baby's way through it. I'm sure you've read to play peek-a-boo games with him, so he can start learning that just because he can't see you, doesn't mean you're not there. Do this around the corner several times before you actually leave a room, or better yet, do it just for fun and don't really leave when you're done, just for practice. Eventually your baby will get bored with the game and won't be paying attention any more when you actually *do* leave the room. ;) If you're going to put a lot of effort into "teaching" him his independence, you can make it into a game instead of an unhappy cry-fest. ;)
Is he mobile yet? Let him follow you, or give him the choice. Tell him something like, "Mommy's going to the kitchen. Do you want to stay with your toys or come cook with me?" Talk in full sentences. Your baby understands much of what you say at this point. If he's hungry, tired, teething, feeling unwell, etc. you should take that into consideration as well. I joked that I had "velcro babies" when they went through stages like this. It wasn't always fun having baby attached to my hip all day, but a sling or other carrier made it much more manageable.
These stages don't last forever, thankfully! I have to say that, even though giving my babies lots of attention and holding them so much was sometimes frustrating, I don't regret any of it for one minute now that they're all older. They are all incredibly independent, and contrary to the dire warnings I often see around here on Y/A, none of them are whiny brats either. ;) Poor behavior needs disciplining and consistent limits, but to me, expressing a need to be held to be close to me was not a bad behavior; it was a valid need and meeting it doesn't seem to have ruined my children for life.
Ignoring them might work for other folks, but that wasn't my choice, and I'm happy with it looking back over all the years and babies. :)
Best of luck to you! Remember, "this too, shall pass"!
2007-03-28 06:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by LaundryGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is normal for this age- you can't pick him up every time he does this. You have to let him cry (as long as all of his needs are met like you said- hunger, diaper, etc.). Letting him cry will allow him to learn to develop his own coping skills for when he is upset or distressed. By picking him up when he is upset, he becomes accustomed to this and he will expect it every time- even when you aren't there to do it (causing problems in the long run for others watching him when you are out). This has been a good resource for him up to now, he will have to learn to comfort himself- and he will. If bothers you more than him. Stay out of the room a little longer than you actually need to- where you can hear him or see him to give him that little bit longer to try to adjust. Leave him a few times where you can monitor him so he gets more used to you leaving the room (making sure his needs are met first). The more you do it- the more he is able to adjust and use his own skills. Good luck.
2007-03-28 06:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to let him cry. You can try talking to him while you are out of the room. Maybe if he is crawling and done on the floor if you are talking to him he can crawl to your voice and he will then realize that you didn't leave him. This is a stage and they all go through it at different points in their little life. My daughter is three and I run and in home day care and she is always with me. She cries if I go some where and leave her at home. It's very hard to stay strong because I hate to see her cry. Good Luck!!
2007-03-28 06:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 06:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little one had a phase of this too. It is no fun to deal with-I had to give in to the fact sometimes he will need to cry. I talked to him while out of sight (momma's here and I will be right back) but he still cried. It took about a month and he calmed down. This will pass. Good luck to you till it does!
2007-03-28 05:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by VAgirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have to agree with the first but you could leave the door to the rooms open and try talking to the baby so he knows you arent far. that worked for my son. as long as he heard my voice he was fine. you can also record your voice so htat others can play it if you are at the store or something
2007-03-28 05:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by wlfbelcher 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately you have to let him cry. He will be just fine. Even babies try to manipulate their parents, and he knows if he cries you will hold him. It will not hurt him in any way to cry. It just may bother you!
2007-03-28 05:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by kayaress 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋