My best friend wanted to surprise her fiance when he got home from work so let herself into his apartment before he got home and hid in the spare room. After she heard him arrive, put his things away, and sit down at his computer, she walked up behind him only to notice he was instant messaging with someone. When she got closer, she was able to see he was cybering with another guy and claiming he was bisexual. She had no idea he felt this way so needless to say she was terribly shocked. She ran out of the house without speaking to him and doesn't know how to deal with it. She loves him but now feels she doesn't really know him. She's devastated and so confused. I simply don't know what to tell her when she cries on my shoulder. Any suggestions?
2007-03-28 05:36:04 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He defiantly should have been honest with her....if it wasn't for that tendency of women to go running from the room in shock. I am married to a bisexual woman and it can have it's ups and downs, but if you love the person you can make it work. What you friend really needs to decide is: Do the benefits of being with this guy out weigh the costs? When she has moved passed the crying on your shoulder phase, have her write out a list of ups and downs. Tell her not to hold back, then look at the list and make a decision. But until then just keep reassuring her, if she is still crying on your shoulder then she is no where near ready to make a well thought out decision that could impact the rest of her life. Good luck.
2007-03-29 09:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by PEJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna try for u, but I ain't the best in this area.
People do stuff online that ain't how they really are so consider the possibility that he's just screwin around on the net.
Your friend needs to confront him about it tho. See what kind of a response she gets.
Now if the guy is really bisexual and didn't tell his fiance, he's totally wrong for hidin it. U gotta be honest with your spouse or it ain't gonna work.
See what goes with the above, then go from there I would say. But the main thing I would worry about is the dishonesty part.
2007-03-28 05:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by Travis M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she should talk to him about that because if he still wants to marry her, he has to settle down. um let her be understanding to his feeling of being bisexual, and by no means is being bisexual an excuse for "cheating" online relationships and boyfriends are not the answer for someone who has found that one and only. so she should talk to him about his being serious about their relationship and by also communicating with eachother more so she doesnt feel left out. and maybe she has a secret that she hasnt told him that will make him feel more comfortable and feel that he knows her better just as well. but all in the same she has to talk to him
2007-03-28 05:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jalaina D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a touchy situation. She's going to have to suck it up and talk to him about it - openly.
She needs to find out if he will be happy living the rest of his life with a woman.
Personally, I am bisexual. I am married to a man, and I am absolutely 100% faithful to him. I have no desire to be with another woman because I am quite happy with my husband.
If he can say the same thing about her, they should be ok. If he's cybering with someone, though, I would question his happiness, though.
2007-03-28 05:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by Meg M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, he kinda cheated on her. If it were me (and I am an openly bisexual - but monogamous - woman), I would not continue a relationship with him. He was not honest with her and they were about to commit to each other for life! She needs to get over the betrayal and move on. She might not want to head for the wedding aisle so quickly in the future.
2007-03-28 05:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by searching_please 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋