My daughter who is 8 now was kidnapped when she was a baby. my question is should i tell her? I have kept this a secret for seven years because she was almost killed. A teen came and took my car i had the keys in it because it was cold i had went to check the mail a few steps away and a teen came and took off with her. And she was abused for years i have lived with guilt and wonder what would be a good age to tell her. one day someone is bound to bring it up.i also find myself being very protective of her. treating her like she is younger i have two other children and just lost a baby so..i am very protective
2007-03-28 05:30:47 · 12 answers · asked by jerry w 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
She was only taken for a hour but the fact is she was almost killed the person had planned on hurting her and killing her they wrecked the car and that is the reason he was caught
2007-03-28 05:44:27 · update #1
don't tell her now, it may scare her. tell her when she is older like 16.
2007-03-28 06:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if I were you I would be very careful how you go about this. She's still quite young and it may be better to wait until she's older. Maybe about 15 or 16. You don't want to scar her for life. If someting that traumatic happened to her she may end up being very frightened. I think if it were me I wouldn't say anything for fear that she might end up emotionally unstable. Of course if someone was to say something then I would tell her the whole truth and deal with the fact that she may be mad @ me for not telling her. Of course children never understnad the fact we are their parents and we're just trying to protect them.
2007-03-28 12:43:15 · answer #2 · answered by dvnlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow is my first reaction to this question, and then sorrow for your child. How long was she away from you? Were you with a partner who abused her, or was this the kidnapper? This is truly tragic. I suggest you talk to a therapist about the best way to approach her. You don't want to mess up on this one, that's for sure. I wish you all the best and hope she can overcome this terrible situation she was dealt. I'm sorry about your loss of the baby, too. Life can be very cruel sometimes. God bless.
2007-03-28 12:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Stephene 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't remember, and it wasn't in the media, what's the point in telling her? This will only hurt and confuse her. It is not going to help her develop into a stronger, safer person, it's only going to terrify her. In the meantime, if it was in the news or friends/family still make it a normal conversation topic I would advise them it's off limits completely and then see a therapist for further advice.
2007-03-28 13:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by greenbuddha03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a good idea to tell her a little bit about it not too much that will scare her. I would save those details until she is much older. If it is really bothering you I would see a therapist just to talk to and get this off your back. The therapist will give you better ways to approach this and how to tell your daughter. Good Luck and Take care of yourself.
2007-03-28 12:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seing as she's only 8, she might not understand completely. Tell her when she's older...old enough to completely understand what happened. Eleven or twelve is probably a good age. Possibly even ten. And if something IS brought up, be up fornt an completely truthful with her.
2007-03-28 12:35:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait a couple more years, but before she becomes a teenager. If you tell her now, the rest of her childhood will not be the same. If you wait until she's a teenager, her hormones might cause a stronger reaction, like anger, depression etc. Whatever you decide, good luck to you and your daughter.
2007-03-28 12:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by ilovethe90s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is probably a good age to tell her about it becasue she should understand hat kidnapping is and if you wait until she is older she may be angry at you and make it feel as if it were your fault. this is something that you really have to dig into. i understand you are protective over her but you have to let her grow up a little and understand what has happened in her life. just stay calm and everything should be fine
2007-03-28 12:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by QUICK_QUESTION 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why does it say she was abused for years & then only taken for an hour? Which is it?
2007-03-31 21:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by plainfieldcletusblue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitely go to a social worker or therapist first and you need to deal with your issues... then discuss what is best for your child.... but see a therapist first. you will be fine, as will your daughter... make her feel safe and loved and she will be fine.
2007-03-28 12:48:00 · answer #10 · answered by ncbound 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get professional counseling for your family. This has repercussions for all of you...not just for your daughter.
2007-03-28 13:06:17 · answer #11 · answered by mamasonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋