How do I motivate 13yr old son to learn?

Question

We have been homeschooling all year this year, and the biggest problem is that he has no desire to learn. He has no natural curiosity left, and I don't think that he will learn anything unless he has that inner motivation. How can I help him regain that spark of natural curiosity?
His homeschool program is very structured, in fact it is actually public school done from home on the computer. Should I try unschooling him? He loves to read books, and I was considering just letting him read to his hearts content and wait for him to initiate/dictate his learning.

I am a good role model, I go to college full time (Chemical Engineering) and study prolificly and try to show him the rewards of studying.
I have tried reward systems, (He chose going to the symphony as a reward for completing 30 math lessons and so far has 12 pts. and has taken him 45 days to get this far).
I have tried taking away games/distractions. (we haven't had TV for 7 years)
He has read more historical nonfiction books than I have, many current popular fiction books (all harry potter, pullman's dark materials books, etc) and historical literature such as the iliad, treasure island, dickens, h.g. wells, all of brian jaques books, jules verne, fitzgerald, twain, steinbeck, plato, emerson..... I could go on (he loves books).
I do like the unit study suggestion... anyone have other non-traditional ideas?

Answer 1

AAhhh, 13 is a wonderful age isn't it? lol

I would get away from such a structured curriculum for a little bit, but not let him entirely of the hook. Ask him what his interests are and do a unit study. Have him write a report/research paper on something that he is in to. Check grammar and spelling and work through it on the paper. You can work in a "curriculum" later after you get him over this hump. Try Curriculum's like Apologia for science. The K-6 curriculum is awesome and even older kids can learn a lot from it. It could spark his interest in science and you can go from there. The problem with public school curriculum is it has you memorize a bunch of facts long enough to take a test and then you just forget it UNLESS it is something you truly care about. So what good is it in the long run? How much do you remember of your middle school education and use today? Keep that in mind. Be encouraged! Your son is getting a good education with you as long as you are committed to it.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

even though kids can spend countless hours on the computer for recreation, sitting in front of it for school can be a bit much. One, maybe two subjects, tops, are tolerable, but more than that can get pretty intense.
Even when I have work to do on the computer, I can shut down sometimes, but hahahaha, I can spend all kinds of time doing stuff like this. ;]
The difference, I'm doing something I want to do, instead of something I have to do.
Maybe switching to a different curriculum would help.
I would keep a curriculum for the core classes, because he will need accountability until he gets his groove back, but maybe unschool for some extra activities, or those things that are less pressing.
someone mentioned unit studies, that's a great idea.
since he loves to read, consider some literature based programs. Here's some things to research:
Learning Language Arts through Literature
Tapestry of Grace
TRISMS
sonlight
All Through The Ages
Ambleside online
Beautiful Feet

also, consider something more engaging for other things. Math U See is very visual and includes manipulatives, but also has workbooks and such.
One last thing, jazz up science with science experiments. Your experiments don't even have to match what he is studying, although it would be nice. But you could just have a science lab day and do fun easy science experiments.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Do not wait for motivation - it may not come. Although he might write the next great novel, you absolutely cannot sacrifice the other subjects for that. So give him extra time to read, but the curriculum must be completed at a reasonable pace. He may not enjoy school, but, like for many schoolchildren, that is not an excuse not to do it.

You have extra freedom since he is being homeschooled. Ask him what his passions are, and devote more time to those. If he really likes chemistry, then help him learn that a lot for a while. If he first learns things that interest him, he is likely to regain that spark. But please do not just let him read books all day. However literate he may become, there is no guarantee that it will be successful.

Answer 4

You may want to consider eliminating distractions. There are many things that rob the mind of it's thinking ability. Video games, Television, flashy/colorful/noisy things are a passive-brain function. The student loses the desire to appreciate the details.

Set aside 5 hours every day for academics. Give your son the best math book and show him how to read the instructions -- he should be able to figure out how to complete one lesson every day without help. Then, have him write a one page essay -- use the encyclopedia for report ideas. Then, give him the very best of literature, history, science to read for at least two hours every day. The classics, historical fiction, autobiographies of historical figures, writings of famous scientists; these are all worthy of his time.

Get away from "twaddle" style reading. Some books just don't have much value as far as learning is concerned. Read books that are interesting and adventurous. G.A. Henty books are great for boys at age 13 and up. These books are historical fiction that are full of adventure and excitement while teaching about events in world history.

YOU need to show him by your example how to study. Do math while he does math, write while he writes, and read while he reads. When you read something interesting tell him about it. Ask him about which things he is reading.

Introduce him to people that are professionals --- go on field trips to businesses, science museums, historical landmarks. Buy video documentaries for him to watch.
There are many, many things that you can do to show him things. But for the most part all you really need to do is make things available and allow the time -- watch him build an interest in something and foster it. If he likes bugs --- get great books about bugs -- not silly bland books but full scientific volumes about the details. If he likes to build things, provide the material and the instruction books.

Additionally: Your updated information begs for more questions --- What is it that you want him to learn? How is he not motivated?
If it is taking him 45 days to complete 30 math lessons I would consider a few things: Is the math too difficult? or too *easy* to where he is bored and not challenged? Does he know his math-facts and tables by memory?
Is he with you when he is studying? or is he alone while you are at college?
Check into the Robinson Curriculum. It is not so *traditional* but yet the focus is rather classical and basic. It was developed by a scientist for his own home-schooled children.
Maybe a baseball game would be more motivating than the symphony. Did he choose it because he likes it or because you like it? (no offense?) --- now, with that said, I will tell you that I am a firm believer in allowing the success of studying to be it's own reward. There are times to give awards for excellent output --- ten 100% accurate lessons in a row... CASH. Boys love cash and a trip to the sporting goods store. Cash for extra-credit work too.

To be honest YOU cannot motivate him to learn. That needs to come from within himself. You can provide material, supervision and encouragement. Key into his particular areas of interest and go from there.
Like I said, check out the Robinson Curriculum and see if it might offer what it is that you want.

Answer 5

Most boys of thirteen are somewhat apathetic. They often like to answer questions with as few syllables as possible. Your child's attitude is completely....normal!

Your job is to ensure that he continues to have a regular and thorough instruction. Okay, he is not jumping up and down about it, but as long as he does what you require him to do, no problem. How many kids in public school are rapt and enthused and just plain thrilled with their classes? Probably none. He needs time to mature and to discover goals, many kids still don't have that passion or spark even in college. Some people never have that passion, but they still set goals and attain them, working regularly to earn that paycheck.

The last thing you should do with an "apathetic" child is unschool him. Unschooling is best for that passionate, inquisitive, self-directed learner who needs the freedom to pursue their unusual or multiple interests. However, you may have hit on something with the reading. Try to use literature to open worlds in other subjects. Consider historical fiction for history interest, sci-fi to open up discussions about science and what we know about it, and great works such as A Tale of Two Cities or The Illyad and then research the time, setting, writing style, etcetera. You can be creative. Also, ask him if there is something he is especially interested in and try to give him the opportunity to learn about it.

You can also motivate with tests and rewards. For a good score, he gets points or money towards something that he wants like an ipod or a video game. Then explain how working towards goals and earning money for it is how he will live as an adult. Good luck!

Answer 6

Let me share from what I've observed from parents who have tried to start unschooling their boys between the ages of 10-15: it does not work. (Or rather, the parent loses patience waiting, waiting for the child to initiate something.) Not after having been in school for years. They need a good, gentle transition. Boys in particular seem to be more resistant to change. At 13, after years of public school, they are so lost as to who they are and worried about what to do, not willing to risk taking chances like deciding what they will work on.

What I have seen work is this: part structured time, part unschooling (although initially very directed by the parent). The child then doesn't have to figure out his whole day and the parent ideally works with him to figure out what he can do with the rest of the day. If your son enjoys reading, consider having the morning for some specific required lessons (although you may want to cancel the idea of that public school program for next year). Consider finishing up this year with the public school program (unless you can get out of it without penalty) and then having the summer as an unschooling experiment. Read stuff about strewing (unschoolers love this tactic) and plan lots of field trips and potentially interesting things. Don't worry if he doesn't find them interesting--you are on a journey to figure out what does interest him and each thing provides you with necessary information.

ADDED: Give him an assignment: he has a week to write an essay on what he sees himself doing in 5 years, what kinds of things he would need to study to reach those goals, what approach to education would be his ideal at home, what he wants to do next year and from now until the end of this school year. Include somewhere in that the idea, "If you could study or work on anything you wanted, what would you study/work on?"

Answer 7

I am somewhat of an unschooler with my 13 year old boy, but how we do that is that I follow his interests. For example, I know he loves mythology, so I peruse www.Amazon.com which gives you recommendations and found Rick Riordan who has written the Lightning Thief series and we have read the first 2 book in that series and my son loved them. They are a fiction series, with kids that are half children and half gods who live at a summer camp, and the books include a lot of the figures from Greek mythology and it is fun to figure out which they are as they are introduced: Zeus, Medusa, Neptune, etc. The 3rd book in the series is coming out in a month or two, so we're looking forward to that. Then after reading the series, my son also enjoyed reading the original Greek myths and legends as well. Usually, I pick out several books that I know he will enjoy, which I have gotten better at as time goes on, and then I let him pick out which of the books we will read.

He also enjoys history books as well, so we tend to read books about historical fiction and history books for teens as well. Lately he has been going through a series called "On the Run" which I think is a really long series, maybe 6 or 7 books at least and he has read the first 3 books in that series this week so I have to get more as we are about to run out of those. I do go to the Scholastic Book Warehouse and let him pick out all the books he wants each year at the Book Fair. I signed up at their website so they send me an email and a mailer to the house to let me know when it is each year.

My daughter though enjoys books about science, human body, and animals, and books that my son wouldn't like at all, almost polar opposites in books that they like so you just have to get to know what they like and dislike and then it is easy.

Plus nowadays there are great websites online. I like the Usborne Internet Encyclopedias and really recommend all of those: I have the History and Science and I think almost all of those because I like them so much! They update their links constantly and both of my kids like them!

I do use math books with them because you could unschool with math but I do like using a program, it is convenient, and I think math is probably the most challenging subject to unschool with esp. as you get older. We do use math games on the computer, some math videos, math games, etc. just to mix it up a little and not be completely boring and traditional though.

Answer 8

If he loves reading you should try getting fiction books on the subject you need him to learn about. If he reads a story real or not, about someone his own age going through the experience like the civil war the subject will be much more easily relatable to your son.

Answer 9

First. Get rid of the public school nonsense. That's not helping him.

Try http://www.jonathanpark.com and http://www.visionforum.com .

Vision Forum has a HUGE list of G. A. Henty books. I strongly recomend those!

Answer 10

my 16 year old is the same way and he is going to high school
but next year I'm going to keep him home.
so try a different approach like no tv or playstation or
reward him some how if he gets is stuff done without complaining