My boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me 2 months ago because he knew deep down I wanted time to be single since I never really had been. I had said it to him a couple times before, and said i wish i met him later in life. I was also often miserable and rude to him becasue deep down I resented the fact that I had a boyfriend. He is 5 years older and approaching 30 and ready to settle down and have kids. So he told me to take this time to date other guys and really find myself because that is the only way i will be happy with him is if i am happy w/ myself first. Two months have now passed and I realize that I want to be with him, but he still isn't ready to see me and last month told me he thinks more time is needed. Do you think two months is enough time or is it reasonable and mature of him to be waiting longer?
2007-03-28 04:50:43 · 18 answers · asked by beth r. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've got quite the man there as most would have just bailed. He is exactly right. Seems like he's smart and logical enough to know what it takes to see how a relationship will play out.
2007-04-05 04:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you coming from. I fell in love with my boyfriend from the start. Head over heels at 19. These are the years where I'm suppose to be meeting different people. Or so people tell me. And as much as I love him I couldn't help but wonder about what it would be like to be single. I think that's normal when your getting to that point of commitment. I had to sit down and talk with him about how I felt. So I think you should just talk to him. A relationship is based off trust but mainly communication. Trust in him to tell him how you feel. You might be surprised at the things he has to say. A relationship is all about two people trying to work together. And if things don't work out the way you want them to. Remember that things happen for a reason. Corny I know but you never know what the universe has in store for you. I wish you good luck and I hope you get everything figured out. Smile things will be okay.
2007-04-05 10:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by dfmlodt 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your b/f's advice is wise. It may even be a means to reduce the percentage of divorces initiated by women in this country. ( I sometimes get the idea that most women under 40 do not want ONLY a husband, but also a lover or three). However, that now HE says HE is not ready suggests he is on the hunt for a life mate for children, and may be simply kind to you.
2007-04-05 11:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by harry61_06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you hurt his ego so i really do not think he will take u back and if he does that you will be competing with other girls.U will become an option .The mistake u did is that u told him that u want to meet other guys, know he is letting u wait so he can meet other women.He is ready to settle down and because u where not so sure of spending life with him, he is insecure of u.He now wants to be 100% sure that ur the ''one"for him and that next time ur are not happy u will not leave him again.
2007-04-05 10:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by anahilda l 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No offense but you are a bit strange, aren't you?
You do have ab boyfriend that you love, but just because you think it's "normal" to have been single before you commit, you are rude and grouchy to him and tell him to go away.
And then, just because YOU feel like it, YOU decide it's enough and you want to be back together.
Don't you realize that you are playing with other people's feelings and hat you are behaving very selfishly? And silly, I might add?
Look, first of all the is no "norm" and if you have been happy enough to meet Mr. Right, you should thank your creator on your knees and not need a time out just to find out how it is.
To be honest, if I'd be your friend I would probably Wonder if I would like to be back together with you, as you seem very depended on your moods and have not a great deal of commitment but therefore a bit of a selfish side.
I think YOU have sent HIM away and therefore it's up to YOU now to wait until HE is ready . if he ever is again, that is.
You just can't control your relationship all by your own and all the time.
2007-04-05 06:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by Eugene 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
2 months waiting is unreasonable. You might as well tell this guy to move on because apparently you two are at different places at your life plus, your dating other people from the looks of your story you are not really concerned about having a relationship with this guy or being married to him. Do yourself a favor tell this guy how you really feel and end this duck, duck goose chase with him cause all your doing is causing more confusion on your part. Tell him where you stand with him and what you want the sooner the better. Good luck!
2007-04-04 21:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by diva22 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
maybe he doesn't wanna wait anymore and he's really trying 2 see if u want 2 be with him!!! if u really do want him...than go for it and explain 2 him what was going through your mind during that time. and usually when u ake time off from each other...it shows how much u really want a person and how u each complete each other!!!! becuz when you're around a person 4 a long time...u kinda get sick of them...BUT when u go away from each other 4 a while...then u realize if u miss that person or not! get what i'm sayin??? hope i helped!!! =D
2007-04-05 11:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by baby15julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is being reasonable to you. You should respect that he is giving you time I give it 6 months total. He doesn't want you to come back and then 2 months pass and you want to do the same thing. Tell him thank you, he is a respectable guy. PS where did you find him....? lol
2007-04-05 11:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by shopriteismylife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ithink he's being resonable by giving you more time. You might feel like you're ready but 2months is a short time. So just try and relax and try to enjoy this time apart.
2007-04-05 11:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by skris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok u have 2 think right just imagine this u get married have kids then one day u wanna be alone agin or get divorcesd u nevevr know things untill u thinkk them right and not rong so yea its good idea hes giving u more time 2 think and tats good 4 u and him
2007-04-05 09:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋