My oldest son who is 23 will be getting married this year. I was handed down my dad and moms wedding ring set (not worth a whole lot but it means everything to me since my dad past away) Would it be inapropriate to write a contract up between me and his fiance something to the effect that if something should ever happen to them that she returns the rings to me?
I only have two things to remind me of my dad one is those rings and the other is a teddy bear that he had sent me when I was ten. (my parents were divorced and I hadn't seen him since)
2007-03-28 04:42:15 · 27 answers · asked by sweet_n_sassy2204 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would definently do something of the sort. It's one thing if the rings are eventually passed on to your grandchildren, but another if they are burried in the jewelry box of your sons estranged wife. When presenting your sons future bride with the contract, make sure you assure her that you hope their marriage will be long lasting, but in the case that something happens the rings are very special to you, and you would appreciate it if they were returned. If I were your son's fiance I would feel honored to know that the rings are an important and special family heirloom and I would take much pride in having them bestowed upon me. If she is a good kind hearted person and loves your son deeply she will understand. Good Luck to your future addition to the family.
2007-03-28 04:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one, most times the ring is considered a gift from the guy to the girl...once you get married and for some reason it does not work out the girl keeps the ring or sells it she doesn't give it back, that I know of...
if this is an heirloom I'd maybe let her wear it during the ceremony, or if you want her to have it then you need it to become hers, knowing that if something happens you may not get it back, but that's just my opinion.
2007-03-28 12:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were that attached to the rings, I would not give them up, contract or not. What if they stay married forever, but she somehom loses them? Or, what if she's in an accident, and they have to cut them off her hand? I mean, those rings are irreplacable, and seem to mean ALOT to you.
Do they even want the rings? I was offered a family ring for my engagement, but I had already told my now-finace that I wanted my own ring with no history on it other than the one we make as a couple. If I knew of your attachment to the ring, I would not feel comfortable wearing it every day for fear of something happening to it.
2007-03-28 13:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is NOT up to you to tell her,. It should be your son's responsability to make things clear.
He can propose with the ring and explain that the ring is a family heirloom that has a lot of sentimental value to your family. He can say that your family is welcoming her into the family by trusting her with the care of the ring when she enters the family. Add that the ring has great meaning and should be kept in the family only. Tell her that it should be passed on only to their chidren or be returned to family may something happen.
You will have to word things nicely so she won't feel offended,
If you don't trust this girl, I wouldn't take the chances. I would let your son buy a ring on his own may that be the case.
Good luck
2007-03-28 11:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The rings will wear with time and will need work done to them. If you area also thinking of hoping to keep the rings preservation I think it would be best that no one wore them. Not to mention the chance of losing them when you wear them and the ring may need to be altered to fit. My best friend lost her ring down the sink, now how do you do that, but it happens. You can pass them down through the family still. Does his fiance even want to wear these rings? I would want my own rings.
2007-03-28 13:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole thing sounds like a bad idea. If the rings mean that much to you, don't give them away. It's a bit on the tacky side to ask for the rings back once she gets married, and they belong to her legally as soon as the ink dries on the wedding license.
2007-03-28 12:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be absolutely stupid to NOT have something in writing. When it comes to family heirlooms that is why they are normally saved for the daughters (jewelry) because in the event of a divorce, the law generally states the wife keeps the rings. The husband can go to court if there are extenuating circumstance but I would cover my a$$ and make sure there is a contract drawn up and all three of you sign it in front of a notary.
2007-03-28 11:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all, do u think that u need to hand down the ring to his fiance?I think three of you should discuss openly about this things,so when you set up a contract there will be no persons who feel offended
2007-03-28 12:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by SteveChan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a daughter? If so, I'd save your mom's ring for YOUR daughter...but pass your Dad's ring on to your son. If you don't have a daughter....keep the ring and save it for a grand daughter. I think writing up a contract will just create a tension and lack of trust between you and your soon to be daughter n law before they ever get married!
2007-03-28 11:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the rings are so precious to you, I think it is only right that you keep them for yourself. Honestly, I was married just under a month ago and if my MIL was like you can use things rings if you sing this that says if you divorce I get them back. For one I would feel like you had no faith in our marriage and for two who says if they get divorced it be her fault, or even that she would want that? Why should she have to give back her wedding ring if its your son's fault or wishes to get divorced... Maybe save it to give to them as a couple on their 25th anniversary or sometime when you feel more confident in their relationship.
2007-03-28 12:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by Sara K 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋