To the parents of well behaved children?

Question

Have you ever received a compliment in public, from a stranger, telling you how well your kids behave and what a great job you're doing? For every one time my children are bad in public, there are a dozen times when they're good, and I always tell them how great they're behaving so as to reinforce the good behavior. But I have yet to receive a "hey mom, good job" during those times from a stranger.

Answer 1

Here ya go! Great Job Mom...keep it up! I get compliments in public and it makes me feel so much better! I can / could bring my kids to any place and always well behaved!~

Answer 2

Oh, good question! You know what, I've never received a "good job mom" either, not once. That's funny, I never really thought about it. Although, when my daughter is complimented for her manners, or her behavior, sometimes I say thank you also - so I guess I'm taking credit anyway. :)

I have also found it to be very useful to also mention the incident again later, like on the way home, and clarify what the person said, if necessary. I also tell her that she should be proud of herself, because she did such a great job that even strangers took notice, and let her know that I agreed that she did a great job also.

It doesn't seem like much, but for us, this works WAY better than any kind of timeouts or spankings. She gets attention for being good, and she likes attention. She's a smart kid, she's got it figured out. :)

Kudos to you for being a great parent, and having well-behaved kids. Come play in my neighborhood! :)

Answer 3

We get it quite a bit. "You're children are really well-behaved." Even though we don't always think so. I am not really a strict parent as in 'lording over' every little thing. But, when we say something, we expect it to happen...right now. They are told when they are doing a good job without us saying anything, and they are thanked when they do things like they should. They have good manners but they need "reminded" from time to time who's the boss. They like to see if the "envelope" is still the same size or if they can push it. The envelope is still the same size, but they still try. We have great boys, I love them to death. They are really good when we aren't around and they have to be watched with someone else. When we get back is when they start to act up a bit. But, they're 5 and 7. What do you expect?

Answer 4

I actually do get compliments from strangers quite often. I have two kids and babysit 2 more and when I have them all out at a store they usually are all very well behaved. People comment all the time about it. When they are not so well behaved I usually just get looks which I ignore, they have either been there or they don't have kids.
It does make you feel good, so :Good Job!! :-)

Answer 5

People compliment me all the time on how well my child behaves. In restaurants, at stores, you name it. I guess people are actually surprised to see a well behaved child these days, they do seem to be few and far between, and I think they are appreciative that I have enough consideration for those around me to make sure my child doesn't disturb others. It was hard work, but it certainly does pay off. I don't worry about going out to eat or getting in the grocery store fearing my child will throw a tantrum in the middle. She knows what I expect from her and knows that if she doesn't behave she will be in her car seat and on our way home so fast her head will spin. Just keep up with what you are doing, whether someone tells you or not, they appreciate that your child knows how to behave. And it DOES matter what other people think, we all have to live in the world together and it's the people who don't care about others feelings or opinions who make it harder for all of us. And it's usually those people whose children disturb and irritate everyone around them when the parents don't know or don't care to discipline their children and demand better behavior. So, Good job, Mom! You're raising a well behaved, responsible child who will care about people around him or her.

Answer 6

I get stopped quite often but yesterday was a big one for me. My 4 year old son had to have surgery to have a tumor removed from the back of his neck. We got to the hospital yesterday morning around 7 a.m. and every nurse in that area commented on how adorable he was and how big he was for his age. They all would talk to him and he is a very well mannered and polite little boy (momma done good!) and then they would look at me and ask if I was a SAHM. I replied that, yes I was and they said that they could tell the difference because he was so smart and polite compared to a lot of other kids they see.

That was just the beginning. The nurses started talking and before we knew it there were nurses coming from other wards and departments to meet this sweet little boy! We probably spoke to about 35 nurses in the few hours we were there for outpatient surgery! Some even took pictures of him.

After the surgery every one of them came back to see how he was doing and he had handled it just fine. They gave him popsicles and teddy bears and put on a puppet show for him! There were 3 other kids there that were getting surgery and all of these women were swarmed around my sweet little man. It was a great feeling hearing all of them comment on how well behaved he was and how sweet and adorable he was.

Its a good thing my 2 year old daughter wasn't there because she is ALL momma and terror on wheels! I never get comments on how well behaved she is because she is a holy terror half the time. My son just has an amazing disposition whereas my youngest daughter is too much like me. :)

Answer 7

I have received those comments, but mostly when my son was a toddler and I had to difuse him quickly. Most of my compliments come from people who admire my parenting skills vs. people admiring my children (I have 1 son, my boyfriend has 3 kids). They comment on how disciplined I am or they say "wow, your kids really like you!" or "you guys seem to have a lot of fun" or "boy, you're doing a great job with all those kids." Are they well-behaved? For the most part, but they are busy, busy, busy... they laugh a lot, they are loud sometimes but they all have a bond with each other and us... and I think it's obvious to everyone who sees us together!

Anyway, you are doing the right thing. Most people who notice a child's behavior are people without children... and they are always more critical!

Answer 8

Who cares about what strangers think on how you are raising your child(ren).
If you feel that you are doing the best that you can do and you feel that your children are too, then don't worry about it.

I have gotten snickers from teenagers at Walmart when my 4 year old belched (it was too loud to be a burp) and said that "that was a good one and I tasted it."
I had an old lady tell me that my daughter should have an undershirt on while I was changing her diaper. (she was also disgusted that my daughter had a b.m in her diaper)
I have gotten compliments on how well behaved my girls are at restaurants, hair salons, walking on the sidewalk... All I can say is thank you.
Granted, I have never gotten a compliment at the grocery store or Toys R' Us. (gee I wonder why?)

Don't worry, someone will see that you are doing a great job and and so are your children. Even if they do misbehave, the are children ain't they?


P.S.

I know it is stressful, complicated, taxing and tiring at times, but it is wonderful, rewarding, hopeful, rejuvenating and joyous. So, no matter what.....
Good Job!

Answer 9

I do, all the time! My parents did as well, growing up, because they instilled discipline and respect in us at an early age.

Besides, I don't expect compliments from strangers nor do I feel like I'm entitled to them just because my son is well-behaved. Sure, they're nice, but they don't validate the way I feel about the way I parent my child.

Answer 10

I do have people telling me out in public that they are well behaved, but it is a running joke between me and my husband that they always put on the perfect children act in public and then fight like cats and dogs at home!! I just like to think that i have instilled them with good manners, and taught them how to act and how to behave. I think it helps that my kids are very, very polite, they never forget their please and thank you's even though they are only 2 & 3