3 year old starting Nursery......?

Question

My little girl is 3 and starts Nursery after the easter hols. She is looking forward to it and I had no worries about it until we went for a visit. She had been out of nappies day and night for about 6 months now and doesn't have accidents anymore. She's really good, but I always help her to do zips and buttons etc, and when she does a poo its me who wipes her bot. She can't do it herself and the nursery say that they are not allowed to help them at all even with my permission. She's not allowed a change of clothes with her and not allowed wipes which makes it slightly easier. I'm dreading her starting now as I'm not sure how she'll get on with it. I think she's too young to be wiping her own bot. I can only make sure that she wears clothes that are easy to pull down when she goes to the toilet but the bottom wiping really worries me. I've tried explaining to her and tried to show her how but she can't do it. I'm dreading her starting now!!!

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Answer 1

I had the exact same problem with my son, he started in january. All the other children seemed more advanced than him using the toilet. My son was still using the potty. I immediatly took the potty away, and started teaching him how to use the toilet, wipe his bum, flush the chain and wash his hands. he picked it up in a matter of a couple of weeks. I send him to school in elasticated pants that he can pull up and down easily. He now does it all by himself. I dont think he cleans his bum as well as when i wipe it for him, so i bath him eveynight to prevent rash or smelliness. Start teaching your daughter now, im sure she'll soon pick it up.

Answer 2

My little girl started play school at two and a half and i had similar worries (although the staff were willing to help, suggested leaving changes of clothes and even had spare clothes there!) she was perfectly capable of seeing to herself but still needed a 'special wipe', help with zips etc As it happened she became very aware that i was not there and would not 'poo out' and just made sure that she went before or after! She is now nearly four and started school full time last Sept and has 'witnessed' lots of other children wiping and at last decided that she'll do it herself - i think that seeing other kids gives them the impetus to learn new things themselves. All in all dont worry about it too much, she'll either hang on until you are around or be a first class wiper in no time, It may be worth speaking to the nursery staff once again as it sounds as if they are being a tad inflexible - after all if she refused to move off the loo until she had been wiped would they leave her there all day? and what happens if she does have an accident? (which i likely to happen as they become so absorbed i what's going on they can forget) And look on the bright side if they leave her to it and it ends up everywhere they are the ones who'll have to put up with the smell!

Answer 3

My little girl started nursery school around 3 also and I had the same concerns as you., but she went anyways and at first she had a little trouble wiping and making sure she was clean. I just made sure that at home I worked with her every time she went to the bathroom and showed her the right way to wipe. Also make sure she gets a bath every night so that way you know shes clean and will keep down the skin irritation. Hope this helps you and let her go the good far out weighs the bad, she'll have a good time.

Answer 4

Is it the nursey not allowing a change of clothes or wipes? If it is, find another one. That's ridiculous. If it's your choice, then think about it again, there's no point doing that if you're just going to be worrying about her the whole time. Sending a child to nursery is stressful enough, I hate it but have no choice as I'm a single parent so I have to work (my daughter's almost three and it took her a long time to settle, I even changed nurseries once incase it was that one, but she's the same in this one). Nurseries are paid to look after our children like we would, how long would we get away with not wiping our children's bottoms? I would seriously look into another one if I was you.

Answer 5

I`ve never heard such tripe in all my life from the nursery. There is nothing written down about not helping little ones with personal care. The only safegaurd needed is if a child has a toilet accident it is prudent to have 2 adults present when the child is cleaned, This is only to safegaurd both the child and the adults from any accusations. How do they think yunger children in day care are kept comfortable.
Please don`t worry about your little one as you could transmit your worries to her. Continue to show her how to clean herself giving lots of praise when she tries. If she has an accident at nursery they will sort her out by either changing her or phoning you. Its no big deal either way.
Bath her each night to keep her fresh and chat about the days happenings. Enjoy her growing maturity but do not put any pressure on either her or yourself.
She will love her time at nursery so relax.

Answer 6

Hi im a nursey nurse if 6 years and iahve never worked in anywhere tht does this. i think it is very wrong! if it was a creche for example i might be able to understand it as they are not calssed as day care and in some settings are not registerd by ofsted and therefore cannot change nappies ect! i would look into this ask if they are registered and you are legally allowed to look at their certificate and any notes tht might of been written! personally i would find another nursery and talk to ofsted about this nusrsery! providing u r in the uk?! Do not put ur daughter in a nursery tht makes u feel this way. most nurseries follow birth to three years, its a national standard tht they have to meet! one of the criteria is partnership with parents and at this nursery they most definatley are not doin tht! if you go onto their website you can look at the standards also ofsted! type it in google!hope this helps :)x

Answer 7

You have to make sure that you keep showing her how to wipe while she is at home, even when she starts school. Also check and see if the school will allow her to use Kandoo's, those are very helpful, you can just drop them in her backpack and she can get one to really clean herself a few times during the day.

Answer 8

I wouldn't get so worried, they won't leave your little girl in dirty clothes if she did have a problem, all nurseries have spare clothes in case of accidents. Show her what to do and let her try and give her plenty of praise. I did it with my little boy and he was fine. elasticeted waists on clothes skirts and pants are easiest. They try to encourage independance at nursery so help her to help herself. My little lad still shouts me if his bum isn't clean and i help . He's 5 now and i tell him at school just keep wiping till it's clean. There will always be something to worry about, thats our job being parents.....

Answer 9

I too have a 3 year old starting nursery soon, luckily she's been dry day and night for 18 months! but I still wipe her after each toilet visit........maybe you should give her a bran based breakfast so that she goes to "poo" before she goes to Nursery.........works for my lil un, regular as clockwork! good luck x

Answer 10

my daughter was the same but she got on fine and it teaches them some independance the other 3 year olds cope so im sure she will too. its a big worry when they first start but they learn quickly and its amazing how they can do it if they have too. my daughter gets her self dressed i was amazed but school said shes been doing it for months, they make out they cant do things because they dont have to try they know you will do it. im sure she,ll be fine try not to worry school will let you know if there is a problem