RSVP question ?

Question

My fiance and I have sent out invitations to all our family and friends for our 5/5 wedding. I'm a little nervous that we've only recieved seven or eight RSVP cards out of the 146 people we invited and the wedding is five weeks away. I asked people to RSVP by 4/5 but the invitations were sent out a little late and now I'm not sure what to do? Should I set the cut off a little later? The caterer will need an accurate headcount a week or two before the wedding...suggestions?

Answer 1

Give them time. If they invitations got out late, then you need to give an extra week. Sometimes people don't know what their schedules are like, and not everyone is off on Saturdays. So some of them might be trying to wait to see what's going to happen.

If you don't get everyone's RSVP by 4/12, I'd start calling.

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People DO RSVP! I sooo have to disagree with you!!! We sent out invitations the end of February/Beginning of March and have an RSVP deadline of April 7th. I've already received half the RSVPs back. I thought that was terrific.

Answer 2

Unfortunately these days, people don't always follow etiquette. Since the invites went out late, push back the RSVP deadline by the same amount of time--mentally. Then, get some assistance from both sides to begin calling people on the invite list that you would assume would come to confirm their attendance. Alot of times people forget to let the bridal party know they're coming even though they are.
After the "assumption list" is contacted, then go to the rest of the list. Let people know when you call that if they can't commit by 2 weeks before the wedding, you'll have to not invite them to the reception, but they are by all means still invited to the wedding. People understand that you need a specific attendance for catering. Be gracious when you call. Let them know that you really want them there to celebrate this date with you.

Best of everything.

Answer 3

People still have a week at this point to mail them in.
I would say to just wait out the week, see if anymore come. If you still have alot unanswered, then after you give some time for mail to come (2-3 days after the cut off so like 4/8 or 4/9) then pick up the phone and start calling people, or have whoever is closest to them call.
Also, if your bridal party, close family, etc hasnt responded, talk to them. Maybe they just figured since they are helping with the wedding that they don't need to physically send the rsvp. But ask them anyways because you may need to know their menu selections! Same goes for co-workers or others who see you everyday.

Answer 4

I got a huge amount of my RSVP's right around the date I gave to have it by. I think I sent out 75 invites, and my mailbox was stuffed with 25 or more two days before the due date. I kind of started wondering myself what was going on. Wait until after the date you put to RSVP by, and only after that try caling people. I would also only call those closer to you as well.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll be opening a bunch of RSVP's within the week.

Answer 5

It's the way people are in society today, rude. Wait until your RSVP deadline then gather a "phone bank" from your wedding party and start calling. No, you should not have to do that, but it will save you from not ordering enough food. The caterer can wait until one week prior for a count, and as an event planner I can tell you that any caterer worth their weight will up your count by 10-15% to cover any last second non RSVPers.

Answer 6

I would start calling people. Say you're sorry the invitation was sent a little late, but you're calling because you would really love them to attend and you noticed that they haven't sent an RSVP. Most people will probably say that the RSVP just slipped their mind and some will say that they had previous engagements. It would be a nice way to show that you hope to become close with some of the friends/family/aquaintances of the groom by calling the people he invited (and vise versa- get your husband to be involved in some of the planning events) Best of Luck!!!

Answer 7

I experienced this also, and don't worry! No matter what time you send out the invites, people always seem to conviently send them out at the last minute! You will probably also get some late ones back too! It is proper etiquette to contact some people after you get most of your RSVP's and ask them if they are coming. Tell them if they ask you need a head count for your caterer.

Answer 8

Oh my God I'd be stressin. Okay here's my advice. My wedding is May 12th and I've gotten 90% of my RSVP's back. Only because I've been asking people. It's a destination wedding for both of our family's so I would casually email everyone (or ask your folks to help) and ask what their status was. Because I was able to do that I now have the majority of my headcount.

You definately need to know that and the fact you've only heard back from that many people isn't comforting. I personally would do what I did and take matters into your own hands. Make it happen!

Good luck Mama I feel your nerves

Answer 9

Contact your Caterer find out when what date they need a final count by on about a week before that date if you still have not received many answers you and the groom or your parents may want to contact people to confirm.

I think that you will find that people will answer about two weeks after they get the invite. They aren't rude it's just that we don't stress promptness in this society today. They have to check their calenders and the like. Be patient you have more important things to worry about.

Answer 10

Wait until April 5. Then:

*Sit down with your maid of honor/mother/wedding planner, whoever is helping you, and make a list of all the people who haven't RSVPd along with their phone numbers.

*Split up the list of those people who haven't RSVPd between you, and start calling them on 4/9.

*If possible, have the groom's family call those people on the list they invited.

*Whenever possible, the person calling the invitee should know the person they're calling.

*Anyone you haven't been able to reach by the 15th, assume they're not coming. Give the number you have confirmed to the caterer.

* If you have the time and inclination, send a small card to those you never got a response from saying something like "We're sorry you're not able to make our special day, but we'd like to see you. Give us a call sometime after [your honeymoon] and we'll get together for lunch." NOTE: This step is NOT about getting gifts, it's about making sure that people who *haven't* responded don't just show up (it happens) and throw the catering/seating arrangements into disarray.