How does different religions affect a realtionship?

Question

I am Mormon and my husband is Catholic and we get along pretty good, but he does not want our kids to learn the mormon ways which I can understand that because I do not like alot of the mormon ways but how can we get past this issue? how does it affect your relationship? is anyone in the same kind of relationship?

Yes mormons are only supposed to marry mormons but not me, I guess I changed that one...LOL....it was forced on me while I was growing up so that is why I am a mormon.

Yes someone can force you to do anything when you are a young child, my grandma is very strict mormon and she always insisted that I go to church with her and my mother agreed because she wanted me out of her hair so she could do what she wanted so YES you can be forced. That is my opinion on this matter.

Answer 1

This is only an observation. I have no right to tell you how to live your life. If an old pair of shoes wear out you get rid of them and get a new pair. I think it might be a wise thing to do the same with your religion. You indicate Mormonism no longer works for you. Why not dump it? We all need divine guidance. If religion was a one-size-fits-all thing then there would be only one religion. Things ware out or we outgrow them. No different with religion.

Answer 2

First of all, no one can force you to be Mormon. You have a choice and if you would prefer something else then go for it. In the Mormon faith it's members are taught to gain their own testimony and not rely upon that of others.

Now, I am Mormon and my wife is agnostic. I have always been a practicing Mormon (although not a perfect Mormon by any means) and it was a choice I made when I dated my wife that I may marry someone not of my faith. It ended up that I loved her beyond words and that I was willing to give up some of what I believed to be with her, at least for life. The religion was a little of a hurdle (and still is), but we respect each other and realize what we believe is part of who we are. We agreed to disagree on religion, to not expect the other to change their ways and to be open with each other about our beliefs when the other did inquire. Without communication and respect a relationship between individuals with different beliefs will always fail.

So, sometimes it does come up and my wife will throw it in my face (but I don't let it bother me). It is hard when I go to church for three hours and it cuts into our time together (because I work a lot during the week). She asks if my church is more important that her and my son. I tell her that God is more important, but that you can't compare. Because she thinks the Mormon faith is wacky, she also has a tough time thinking of our son possibly going to church and being Mormon, but we did discuss this before we got married. We agreed we would both live as we do and be open about what we believe. Our son will then make his own choices (although it would be irresponsible as a parent not to teach him what we value and believe). I accept the fact he may not get baptized at 8 or at any point, but I am certain he will respect people from all religions and find what is right for him. I was taught to be educated and seek out truth. I studied hundreds of religions and came to what I believed was a logical and right decision, and I hope he'll do the same.

Being of different faiths will always provide a hurdle, but you can have a great relationship, based on love and respect. Find out what you believe and what is right for you, but don't ever expect or allow someone to expect change for another.

Answer 3

I can help ya. I'm an atheist and my husband is a Protestant. Prior to that, I was in a long term serious relationship with a Catholic. His sister (also Catholic) was engaged to a Jewish man. His mom and dad were also a multi-faith house (Catholic and Baptist).

My husband is not very religious and we do not plan on taking the children to church often anyway. However I do plan on educating them in religions and explaining from an early age what the beliefs of Christianity and Judaism are, and as they get older explaining to them other religions. I have a vast library of books on many religions and will encourage them to find what is best for them.

In the Catholic church, it is very important to raise the kids in the faith. This is something the two of you should have discussed ahead of time b/c if he is seriously Catholic (instead of just the holiday variety), it will matter to him that he follow that. Many Jewish sects also have strong emphasis on raising the children within the faith.

In the case of my exboyfriends parents, they agreed to raise the kids Catholic but she has remained Baptist. Once a month the whole family goes to her church.

In the case of my ex and I, we agreed we would raise the children Catholic b/c it was important to him, and I don't necessarily want my kids to share my religious beliefs b/c I recognize that it is difficult on them to be attacked.

In the case of the sister and her Jewish fiance, they were unable to come to an agreement on that and ended up calling off the wedding. Neither could fully agree how to combine the teachings of both the Father and the Rabbi.

Often it is better to keep your seperate beliefs. I know a non-religious guy who dated several different girls in college and changed his religion with each one. Now he is with a devoted Wiccan and has decided he is too. It causes conflict b/c she almost feels he is mocking her religion, since he changed so quickly.

You do not like a lot of the Mormon ways so it should be easy to agree on those points. Not to try and convert the other to your religion but on agreeing for the future. For the points you don't agree on, why not just educate the kids? When they ask a question, explain that "according to the Catholic church,....." and then offer "but Mommy grew up in the Mormon faith, which is slightly different. They think....." There is no reason any emphasis has to be placed on either one or the other and why either has to be shown as wrong. Just explain that none is right; it's just like languages. There are hundreds of languages and none are wrong; they are just different.

Soon they will ask why Mommy and Daddy have different churches and you can honestly explain why you aren't strict Mormon anymore and what parts of the faith you disliked. I see no reason not to explain it to them. What is wrong with having a child educated in religion? I always wondered as a child why the calendar was marked up with Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashannah, and why the Jewish kids seemed to get out of school so often. There was no one who could explain it. You are lucky that as a multi-faith household you can explain the differences. You should always be honest with children. If you lie about that, they start to think you lie about everything important--like drugs, sex, and the stove being hot.

It can either be a difficult thing that you fight about a lot and perhaps end the relationship--or you can sit down and talk about this, like the reasonable adults you are. And agree on the way you want to continue and the ways you want to raise your child. It is slightly more difficult to have a blending of different faiths, but far less likely to cause constant problems than a blending of different spending habits.

Good luck and email me if you have any questions about how it works.

Answer 4

Aren't mormons only supposed to marry mormons? well anyway past that- So I'm atheist and my b/f is catholic- yeah we've had some heated debates but it's all good fun and we have talked about if we ever have kids. His parents forced his religion on him as did mine so we decided that we are going to teach our kids about lots of religions and beliefs and let them decide what they want to do

Answer 5

This is the #1 problem reported by multifaith families. It is good that your husband does not want your children to learn the Mormon ways. Concentrate on what the Bible says. That is the common ground you have with your husband.

Answer 6

Your situation can be really hard. I sympathize. Talk to your clergy about it, both his and yours. There may well be programs set up to help "mixed marriages" at your churches.

My basic answer, if you raise the kids with a religion, that is certainly better than no religion.

I'm just guessing here, but maybe you should look at a different church if you're not too sympatico with Mormonism.

Anyway, good luck to you!

Answer 7

My wife was a catholic before we got married . I am a born again and we talked about the same subject. She wasn't too happy with Catholicism so she came to my church and heard the true word and after a while became born again .2 Corinthians 4:16

Answer 8

It will only affect things if you let it. Any choices your husband and you make should be carefully thought out and discussed first.

Answer 9

I really can't say, because I'm agnostic, and would never date someone who wanted to push their religion on me.