Seating Charts - Are they a struggle for you?

Question

Since we've received about half of the RSVPs, and I still have a week and a half to go before the due date for them, I started poking around with a seating chart.

I came up with a design on a spread sheet, and now it's just trying to stick family with family and friends with friends. I hate going to weddings and having it be open seating. Then you have family spread out everywhere, and you try to sit in a spot, and someone tells you that it's taken.

So far it's not too much of a headache, but I can see one arising.

Anyone else going through the same thing? What are your thoughts and opinions on seating charts?

My thought is>>I don't care anymore. LOL I'm not going to have 5 people squaking at me, just because I didn't sit Aunt Betty in the right place.

I already had one of my fiance's great aunt's call bawling, because I didn't put her son's name on the invitation. One little mistake. Big deal! Why cry?

Answer 1

We went nuts with our seating chart, but in the end, it all worked out. My best advice is not to really discuss it with anyone but your fiance and don't tell anyone where they're sitting. They'll find out at the wedding, and most people won't make a scene if they don't like it. They'll just suck it up and you won't have to deal with the headache.

We didn't do a head table - my husband and I had a sweetheart table and our bridal party was dispersed among the other tables so they could sit with their friends and families. Everyone was far more comfortable that way.

We seated the parents and godparents all at one table together, and tried to group family members and groups of friends together at tables. We worked on seating the largest groups first (large families, all our college friends), then filled in with smaller groups at the open spaces at those tables. We tried to match personalities, so my husband's outgoing 24 year old cousin was happier sitting with several other 24 year olds instead of sitting with his parents and their friends.

I wouldn't do open seating - as a guest, that makes me really uncomfortable, even more so than sitting with people I don't know. At least you don't have to worry about finding a table when you're assigned one, and you don't have to wander around the room looking stupid. People that don't know each other at assigned tables generally make the best of it.

Our hotel had a variety of table sizes. You may want to ask if you can get bigger and smaller tables - that may make things a little easier.

Another good tip is to keep older guests away from speakers and DJ tables. It's annoying to them to have loud music blaring in their ears, especially if they'd rather sit and talk than dance. Seat kids AWAY from the cake table, the kitchen area and the bar, and make sure if you have any handicapped or elderly guests that they can easily make their way to and from the table.

Answer 2

This was the worst part of my wedding. I had my brother in law call the day before the wedding saying that his wife refused to attend if she wasn't seated with a person she wanted to be. I told my wife to let her stay home, but she couldn't do that. So the day before, she had to redo the entire chart because one change has a ripple effect.

Basically, you do your best and then there is nothing more you should be compelled to do. I've been at weddings were the seating chart was baffling, but I was honored to just be a guest.

Your friends and family should understand that you have bigger things to worry about.

Answer 3

I so know what you are going through! I'm going crazy with my seating chart!! I started last week and still haven't finished!!! I had blended the families together and was told by my future MIL that you are supposed to separate the families. I tried to explain that weddings are a time for the two families to come together as one...not be divided!!! It was no use...so now I have to go back and fix it...because the last thing I need is her crabbing at my fiance, because she wont complain to me, which makes him crabby and he'll crab at me!!!

So yes...I know how you feel...lol

Answer 4

Ok here is my thing about seating charts- no matter what you do you will not please everyone. Just plan to seat the most important guests (like parents, grandparents and spouses/dates of the bridal party) closer to the head table. Let the rest of the tables be filled in by the other guests.

There is no reason to be bothered about where everyone would be sitting unless you are having a super formal wedding. (or trying to keep two drunk uncles away from each other)

Good luck and congrats! (But dont drive yourself crazy planning!)

I like your idea- stick to it!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yourweddingonabudget/join

Answer 5

it is a nightmare. i have been working on a preliminary cchart so when the rsvp's come in i can either cement or delete that person. i am going for the blend with all these different types of personalities i am trying to make as many compatible tables as possible because i too dislike open seating. its not formal but i believe there needs to be order.

congrats and good luck

Answer 6

What I think my fiance and I should do is, reserve the tables for the wedding party and immediate family (bride and grooms parents and grandparents and the wedding party and their spouses), the rest could find their own seats.

Answer 7

My fiance and I decided to have two assigned tables each for the family and then have the rest be open seating for friends etc. That way the family all gets precedence and everyone is happy!

Answer 8

I'm having no stress at all with it, we are having a hog roast and salads, served buffet style, people can sit where they like and move around freely. It's just what we wanted to do, but I know it can be a minefield trying to keep everyone happy. In the end you just have to remember that you cannot please everyone, so just do what you can and then stop worrying about it, they only have to sit there for a short while anyway.

Answer 9

It's MUCH easier just to let people choose where they want to sit.