I'll give you all I have to give,
without you I can't live.
I don't have an expensive car,
for you I'd walk just as far.
I'd go anywhere you asked me to,
just as long as I'd be with you.
If I got the chance to kiss you,
you'd make my life be bright blue.
But my love is all I have to give,
without you I can't live.
I'll give you all I can,
just so I can be your man.
If we could be together as two,
This would make all my dreams come true.
Just notice all the love I have to give,
because one day without you I can't live.
2007-03-28 03:34:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry to say, but it's really corny and contains too many cliches.
2007-03-28 03:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by Silhouette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand cheesy and too cliched, especially if you are an adult, you should know by now that thats not the kind of thing women might want to hear, you sound too desperate.
On the other hand if you are a kid that can be very nice and sweet if given to a girl and she will love you for it and for being so caring to say that stuff!
It also depends on the person receiving it. Someone might find it amazing while other people such as an English teacher might find it stupid and repetative!
2007-03-28 13:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's good. I'm also a poet. You made a mistake in posting your work on the Internet though, anyone can copy this and enter it in a contest or something. You should delete your question. Well anyway, it's good, all I would change about it is the line 'you make my life bright blue'. Other than that, I don't think you need to change it in any way.
-hope your career in poetry goes well-
2007-03-28 10:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by LISA STEWART R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I got this from a girlfriend it would scare me as being obsessive. The whole I can't live without you thing is a bit much. I'd prefer someone who could live without me but prefers not to.
2007-03-28 10:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do good!! Do not stop here, write more! This is a good way to let someone know how you feel about them! Others you write may be good for other people to read and use! Words have a way with Love and Life and Laughter!!
2007-03-28 10:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an old Beatle's tune. Very McCartney-ish. So you may be on the road to success.
2007-03-28 10:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like it. It's a bunch of sappy statements that rhyme. But maybe she'll like the thought.
It has some ok things about it. You have the theme of not being able to live without her.
2007-03-28 10:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by Amir M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a very sweet poem. Are you giving it to a girl? I think she would appreciate it very much!!!! You definatley have some talent......I like it!
2007-03-28 10:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea it was alright when the backstreet boys made it!!! All u did was change a few words!!!! Sorry if that sound rude but its the truth!!!
2007-03-28 10:40:54 · answer #9 · answered by JessieRae07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very lovely!
2007-03-28 10:36:57 · answer #10 · answered by markos m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋