My fiance told me to not let any men put his hands on me?

Question

I and few of my friends has been planning on a bachorlette party. However my fiance knows that one of my friend is in charge of preparing the bachorlette party. She's kinda of a trouble maker and wild.

This make my fiance very uncomfort. He told me that he don't care what the traditional say, he doesn't want any other men to touch me in any way. He say he doesn't care if we go watch male stripping, have a night out, or whatever. But no one touch me.

I know he had a really horrible experience in high school when his former close female friend getting sexual assault. He even still get down about it sometime. I believe this is the main reason he doesn't like people he care about to be too comfort around strangers.

I don't know what to do. Should I tell my friend something or not?

EEEW What kind of weirdo would invite their father to a bachorlette party?

Answer 1

If you really love him then you should care enough to respect his feelings. Just let your friends know that you do not want to participate in that type of activity and if they are true friends then hopefully they will respect your wishes.

Answer 2

He really cares about your safety. You just have to reassure him that you will be just fine and around more people than just her. If she goes and does her own thing it has no direct link to you. If he trusts you then it will all be fine. I would say though, with you being in a group of women at all times, the odds of any man assaulting you would be very little. The most you may get is a pat on the bottom or compliments on your looks. Just stick with a responsible friend and mind yourself and it will all be fine.

Take cabs and dont leave the group.

As far as your friend, you dont have to bring up anything you and your fiance talks about- that is between you and him. She can plan all she wants, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable or is against what you believe in, you can tell her at that time and excuse yourself.

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Answer 3

As your fiance, he has every right to make that request. Do you want another woman putting their hands on him? He has no problem with you going to a strip club and watching, so I doubt if he's a control freak.

Tell the person planning the party that under NO circumstances is she to put you in an uncomfortable situation. If she can't handle that, then she is no friend.

Walk out if things get bad.

Answer 4

I dont understand this. No normal woman would ALLOW a random man to touch her, so what is he talking about? This seems a bit out of the ordinary to me, what if you are standing next to a man and he puts his arm around your waist for a picture to be taken, would this be out of bounds for your fiance? Or are there just certain instances he is talking about?
Honestly, I wouldnt worry about it too much, most bachelorette parties always have one wild girl who could make things get out of hand, and they never do. I think the wild bachelorette parties that you see on TV are just that "TV", if women even have them anymore (and they are becoming a rarity in favor of spa days and such) they are usually very reserved. There wont be men clawing at you thinkng "Oh I gotta get near that girl, its her last night as a single woman" that just doesnt happen.

Answer 5

Having a bachelorette party at a male strip club is just tacky, tasteless, classless and immature anyways. How old are you?? I don't blame him for not wanting anyone to touch you...what man would? Your wild girlfriend needs to get it together and figure out something better to do. What's with the strip club anyways? It's stupid and conforming to the sad ways of this world. What's wrong with going out dancing and to eat at a nice place and letting loose? Why should other males be involved at all?? Pathetic.

Answer 6

Your fiance is right, you can do the party thing without hurting your friend as well. You always have the choice to leave the party if things get out of hand. Just be strong and use good judgement if you find yourself in a tight situation.

Answer 7

Just tell your friend that you want to make sure things don't go overboard. If you go to a all male revue or something tell her to tell them that you don't want to be touched in any way. They should respect your feelings but you should be able to still have fun. I know sometimes the revue's can get a little racy with the guys grinding on the women and stuff, but if you tell them upfront they should be professionals. Let your wild g/f get the lap dance (or whatever you call them with male stripers)!

Answer 8

Just bring it up, with out saying your fiance doesn't want it to happen, that you just don't want any physical contact with those who you don't know anytime during the party.

That way, your fiance won't be the blame, you are respecting him and possibly, protecting yourself at the same time, within limits.

I do not believe in bachorlette/bach parties at all when it comes to it going sexual (stripping is sexual). That is where it is demeaning and disrespectful to the marriage. But, you do as you please, but keep in mind of his feelings as it is not worth ignoring.

Answer 9

Your fiance is looking out for you... I mean, what if he said, "Hey get touched all you want, just don't get knocked up, alright?" But he sounds a little insecure if he feels he has to tell you. I don't tell my fiance that, I tell her to go have a good time.

As for telling your friend, I wouldn't bother mentioning it... she may just do something that WOULD involve "touching." If you wanted to, suggest something you'd like to do (that way your friend who wants you to have a good time, will make that her priority).

Answer 10

Your fiance is right. Mine told me the same thing. Just tell your friend. Why would you want another man touching you anyway?