I and few of my friends has been planning on a bachorlette party. However my fiance knows that one of my friend is in charge of preparing the bachorlette party. She's kinda of a trouble maker and wild.
This make my fiance very uncomfort. He told me that he don't care what the traditional say, he doesn't want any other men to touch me in any way. He say he doesn't care if we go watch male stripping, have a night out, or whatever. But no one touch me.
I know he had a really horrible experience in high school when his former close female friend getting sexual assault. He even still get down about it sometime. I believe this is the main reason he doesn't like people he care about to be too comfort around strangers.
I don't know what to do. Should I tell my friend something or not?
2007-03-28 03:05:40 · 13 answers · asked by Alicia K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No he isn't having a bacholer party. He flatly out say he doesn't want one.
2007-03-28 03:07:33 · update #1
He was 16 at the time and he was hosting a party at his house while his parents was gone. His female friend told him she was tired and he was suppose to take her home, but there was still lot of people at the house at the time. So he told her she can sleep in his room. So she did and one of the guy found her and raped her. My fiance feel like as if he should've not been so careless and that it was his fault.
2007-03-28 03:33:16 · update #2
respect your man. obviously he cares about you. if you did let another man touch you... that would be cheating.
tell your friend what you and your fiance want. she has to respecet that as your friend.
good luck! your fiance sounds like a great guy!
2007-03-28 03:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe I am the only one but when I get married and have a bachorlette party I am not going to want a bunch of strangers all over me, just because its my "last night out as a single woman" or whatever the saying is doesn't mean I should go wild. That is just my opinion though, but I completely understand where your fiance is coming from, even as a woman, I don't view it as controling, why would he want men all over his wife to be and why would a woman want that, isn't she marrying someone she is so happy with so she shouldn't need it. I mean yeah you can go out & have a great time with the girls, even go to a strip club but keep it clean =) atleast thats what I think. well congrats on getting married & good luck in the future!!
2007-03-28 10:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has some issues to work out.
I understand that he is nervous about you getting in a situation that you may not be able to handle, but you will be out with a bunch of freinds at a public place watching professional strippers who don't want to get busted for prostitution.
I think you'll be safe. I'm concerned that he may be trying to exert too much control over you. Everyone has had a bad experience or had a freind who's had a bad experience, and most of us get on with our lives afterwards. Why is he still affected by this? was his freind killed during this experience? Did he have something more to do with it than he's admitting? It is unusual for a guy who was not a part of an assault to be so bothered by it years later.
2007-03-28 10:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do YOU want for a bachelorette party? It doesn't matter how wild your friend is...she's supposed to plan the party that YOU want. Let her own party be the raunchy one.
If you want something low key, like a spa day and dinner, or something, then tell her specifically that's what you want. If you do not want a stripper or anything like that, tell her in no uncertain terms that it would not make you happy.
But if you do want a stripper, reassure your boyfriend that no strange males will be touching you. Unless your friend is hiring a hooker, there wouldn't be a reason for your bachelorette party entertainment to be touching you anyway.
2007-03-28 10:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Respect what your fiance is saying. Marriage is about respect. If you can't abide by what he is saying in this situation, then you should rethink getting married.
He is obviously willing to compromise, as he has said that you can go out, so you should be able to compromise in that you don't allow another man to touch you.
You should tell your friend that you can go out, but that things CAN NOT get too wild. You do not want to start your marriage out on the wrong foot. I think your fiance is completely justified in requesting this.
ANd for the record, my husband and I did not have a bachelor/bachelorette party. We went out for a nice dinner together and went shopping for things we needed for our honeymoon. We both felt that we didn't need a "last night out". We were prepared to be together forever, and didn't need the debauchery that is involved typically in these parties.
2007-03-28 10:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think if you want to have a good relationship with your fiance its in your best interest to tell your friend how he feels. I mean your almost married so therefore you don't need guys putting their hands on you anyhow. :) I hope that you get everything figured out. Good Luck
2007-03-28 10:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by lorakay71 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's insecure? I mean he knows that whatever happens isn't going to change anything. Male strippers touch you sometimes. It's best to just tell her and reassure your b/f.
2007-03-28 10:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by madbaldscotsman 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make sure his problem isn't going to be a major issue between the 2 of you!
2007-03-28 10:09:32 · answer #8 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He sounds like a bit of a prude. No bachelor party? Wants to control what you do at your hen party? Sounds very definitely on the unfun side. Do what you want to. Its your party.
2007-03-28 10:11:26 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Tell your boyfriend to come with you to your bachorlette party.
2007-03-28 10:13:31 · answer #10 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋