Did you marry a Widow or Widower with young children?

Question

What were your experiences? Do the step children accept you? Do you feel uncomfortable/jealous of the deceased 1st wife? Would you feel uncomfortable if the kids have framed photos in their room of your husband, the deceased wife together?

Answer 1

i am a widow. and i know that it made my ex feel unconfortable when i spoke about my child's father..
he felt like he had to compete with my memory of him.
which he was wrong.
and my child didn't care for him, he didn't care for her. and i didn't like one of his kids..
so to answer your question.. that time it didn't work out for me..

but i hold on to hope... and know that the next man i am with will love and respect me and my child and what 'was' but will make a new 'what will be'

love will prevail..
as long as you don't compare your current with your deceased, you will make it.. .

and the thing about the children having pictures, while it may be intimidating.. it is part of their life..
they should keep their pictures up. i will always have one of my late hubby right in the living room.. respect and honor.. notthing else.

Answer 2

My mother married a widower. His kids were 7 and 9 when they started to date and 8 and 10 when they married. His kids wholly accepted her. They started calling her mom the day of the wedding. Their mom committed suicide. They had pictures of her, but they didn't display them. I'm not sure if it's because of the way she died or not. If they had decided to display a picture of her with or with out my step-father, I don't think my mom would have had a problem with it. Even though they loved her as their mom, she also realizes that they did have another mother at one time that they miss. Just because they have a picture up doesn't mean they love her any less.
They have been married 20 years now.

Answer 3

It's natural to feel jealous of someone who is gone. But you can't expect the kids to wipe out all traces of their mother, because she was and always will be their mother. My dad remarried and the lady did that. Tried to remove all traces of my mother and our family from the home. It cause major anger on both sides of the situation. My dad got caught in the middle of the kids and his wife. If you give the situation time and allow the kids to become comfortable with you in their life gradually and not forced they can be your friends. The situation can work out with a little time and patience, just don't force it on someone or you burn bridges fast.

Answer 4

My husband's mother died when he and his 3 brothers were between the ages of 6 and 12. They grew up loving their stepmom and even call her mom, and I think this was in part of the fact that she never acted jealous of their real mother and was always caring and supportive and understanding when they talked about her or missed her. Each of the boys have kept photos of their real mother and father together, not only in their rooms but in their homes even now that they're grown, because like it or not they loved their mother and they miss her.

It's unreasonable of you to be jealous or not to accept this.

Answer 5

Can an apple choose for to be in a fruit salad? No....! if its meant to be in it, it is going to !!! Who can assure that the relationship with the two a divorcee/widower would be a achievement? Its how u artwork on the wheels of marriage that concerns. human beings have been given to make their marriages artwork.

Answer 6

i would hope that i could handle all of that. i come from a divorced family and i am also divorced with kids. i know its not the same thing. but when i go to see my daughter there are pics of me and her and her and her step dad. so that is hard to see in her room. but i deal with it. i would hope that because i handle that so well if were to remarry a widow i would think i could handle that to.

Answer 7

My friend did this. It ended up in divorce.