This question is mostly intended for Arab Muslims. Virgin till you marry?

Question

I've always wondered how important it really is for an Arab girl to be a virgin when she marries. My aunts and grandmother have made me very afraid of having sex before marriage. They say that if I marry an Arab (and I would prefer to) and I'm not a virgin on my wedding night he'll give me back to my family and the whole thing will be very shameful. So, I remain a virgin. But my father married my mother and she wasn't a virgin. He says he was in love with her. But you have to keep in mind that my mother is American. My friends who I've asked about this say that Arabs will "excuse" an American woman. Now, I'm half-Arab, half-American. Do I get the same "get out of jail free" card? And I belong to a different generation than my father; things must have changed since he grew up. I wonder, how are Arab Muslim men who grew up in other countries on the matter? I'd like to marry someone like me: half-half or whatever. Do Arab American guys care more or less about virginity than pure Arabs do?

Answer 1

It is not necessarily true for only Arab men, but most muslim men, especially those living in muslim societies will expect their bride, if she has not been married earlier, to be a virgin. It is considered a great sin to have had sex outside of marriage and all muslim societies frown upon it. However, things could be different for someone living in another society which has norms different to muslim culture. Depends on the person you are marrying and his expectations, he might be someone who attaches importance to religion and thus holds this thing to be important, or he could be someone who is not very religious and is not concerned about something like this. This is from the cultural aspect, but from a religious aspect it is not acceptable.

Answer 2

I wish I knew. My mom is Arab and she was a virgin--but that was more out of religious piousness than anything else.

But she married my dad, and American, so it all worked out anyway. And now I'm engaged to an American (and I am not a virgin); for me ethnicity isn't an issue, it's the person.

It will be that way for you too.

Answer 3

as a muslim men.. if i found out my wife has lost her virgin on the 1st nite for sure i;ll return her back to her family..
--
unless she told me earlier & i accept it..

to tell u the truth honor you virgin to the one u love..

Answer 4

Personally i would like to be the first and i would not like her to have been with someone else..........used goods and all...call me old fashioned but we both were each others first...