Is it normal for an indian man to have a girlfriend until his parents decide its time for him to get married and all the while telling his girlfriend that he loves her and he want her to be his wife and he cant live without her and all these things. Then when his parents feel its time for him to marry he dumps his girlfriend and marrys the girl of his parents choice.
The only reason i ask this is because i have an indian boyfriend and after seeing alot of these posting of the men marrying another woman behind the g/f's back all the while telling them that they love only them. Is this a regular occurance for indian men. Is this something i myself should be worried about in my relationship?
2007-03-28 02:46:34 · 32 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know I know, you said men only. But, I have to tell you each situation is different. I think it boils down to how strong he is and how stern his parents are. It's usually the mother that has the most influence on that.
Be very careful, while it doesn't "always" happen, it does happen due to the pressures by his family.
2007-03-28 02:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by sandibum 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well i think i can better answer this question. Well even if my gf read this i want she to understand this
Well i am orginally from india well now moved to israel and i have israeli gf. Now even i cant tell u how much i love her.
Now coming back to ur question well india bad part is its caste system which i hate more than anything in whole world and stupid traditions whihc end up a person life in hell.
Some indian mens dump thieir gf thinking well indian wife are faithlful but not everyone thinks the same there is always ablack sheep. When i told my aprents about it they first said no international wife i told them what difference it makes to marry someone whom u love and i am greateful my parents understood.
So dear its all in boy how he convice his parents . Because many parenst have image of indian wife playing role of decent and loyal houwse wife whihc is more or less like a fairy tale once thir impession of this changes things will be fine. Again it depends on boy how he tell his parents
and i want to tell all indian boys are not bad.
wish u success love life
2007-03-28 03:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by vikas_dellcomputers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Indian men dont listen to their parents. Unless of course their parents are multi- millionaires who are only going to will their wealth to them if they marry their choice of bride.
Its not normal, for an Indian man to agree to a match made wedding nowadays, nor to wait till his parents decide its time for him to get married.
If you have decided that you want to marry this Indian dude, you should get acquainted with his family, make them accept you as a family member, then you can leave these worries behind.
If you have not become acquainted with his family you shouldnt have decided to marry him in the first place though. We Indians normally keep family ties close and strong, no such thing as marrying off and fogetting home.. means you aint just marrying him, you are marrying his family too.
I would not worry if I was you. I would do something proactive to make my worries go away, OR not take the relationship so seriously in the first place.
2007-03-28 02:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by the game 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mellissa, you cannot generalize behaiours based on questions posted in yahoo answers. People with problems post their questions here. Why would a someone who is happily married post a querry here.
Besides, it's not normal for an indian. Secondly, parents express their wish. They don't decide. Also, if a person has a affair, parents may consider the it's choice. But after evaluating the chosen one themselves.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-28 20:17:05 · answer #4 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can happen - though saying that it always happens OR it never happens are both wrong.
This is a very typical scenario. I was in a similar situation. Was going steady with a girl for 6 yrs. My parents, brothers, sister all knew her and about our relationship. When the time came - they wanted me to marry someone else. I refused. Left home. Was disowned by my family - for FIVE years. I married when I was 24 to the same girl. Now I am married to her for 16 fantastic yrs. (add another 6 yrs. of going steady and thats 22 yrs.). My parents came around and now my relationship with my family is absolutely fine. But mine may not be a typical case.
It really depends on the guy. My parents are RICH. But I still left home and built life from scratch - with no money or help from ANYONE!!! All I can say is - don't depend on anyone. He may not be there tomorrow for a no. of reasons. After the initial heartbreak - life has to go on. But if you are really serious about your guy - ask him. And then ask yourself whether you believe him. You will find the answer.
2007-03-28 03:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its because the children are brought up in such away that they always agree what there parents say(its because of respect and love for there parents). So they don't mind to dump there g/f.... but there are other category men also who think independently who understand whats good or bad irrespective of the fact that they love there parents.... they believe in going with truth so when they love someone they 'truly love' them so if the girl comes with the belief that she has got only him in her life then he will never giver her up.... so they go against there family... The Indian families want to hold there culture in which the parents find the partners for there children even though the they know their partners or not!!!! :( that's the problem with your guy and he doesn't want to hurt his parents
2007-03-28 21:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by Raj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be afraid, be very afraid. An Indian marriage is not about 2 individuals; it's about two families coming together. The joint family system is still very prevalent in India and this turns most Indian men into "Mama's boys". Coupled with this is the dowry, that is paid by the brides family and the low value that Indian society has for females. i.e. female infanticide is practiced on the sly. The dice is loaded against you.
2007-03-28 05:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by paddy f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am an indian male married to a british citizizen. I thank god for my parents are liberal.
Yes i find most Indian males do that be it in India or abroad. For a majority of Indian man GF is never a "marriage material".
You may want to talk this out with your BF and clear things out before its too late.
2007-03-28 03:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by Hermit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Melisa Indian culture is way different from that of the western culture.
Generally parents expect Boy or Girl to marry someone of their likings in short most of the parents prefer arrange marriage for their kids.
In many such instances Indians dumps his current partner for his parental pressure or it may happen reverse if he truly loves his current partner
2007-03-28 21:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you heard and seen in these posting are very clear. It happens in most cases; as someone pointed out correctly that in India, marriage is not between two individuals but between two families. The families have to get to know each other well and there is a lot of giving and taking between them. If you are serious about your b/f, then let him take you to his family and you take him to your family. Introduce each other into your respective families. If the families are for the union, then there is no problem. If there are objections, then you both have to decide how to overcome them. Mainly, it depends on your b/f, how strong is his love towards you. Can he face all odds if they are stacked up against you? Let him answer that and then only you proceed further. Anyway, as a precaution, don't have sex with your b/f. Just in case things don't turn up as you wanted them to be. It all depends how your b/f stands up for you and his convictions for taking your side under all circumstances. WISH YOU GOOD LUCK!!
2007-03-28 19:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by sunilbernard 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True...it is,unfortunately, one of the things some of us Indian men do. But note that we only do such things for the ridiculous purposes of flattering our egos and for the sake of trophy hunting,really. Since you have an Indian boyfriend, ask him point blank if a day comes that you want to marry him, he won't run for the hills, and can stand up for himself and make his own decisions independent from his family. If he is able to answer this question truthfully, you can see it. I suppose god truly gave women a blessing when he gave women intuition.
2007-03-28 13:34:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋