My 48 year old mother is doing cocaine. This is the 2nd time in about 3 years I found it in her bedroom. The first was when I was pregnant, and I told her if she didn't stop she would not be allowed to see my son when he was born. She stopped (or at least i think she did) and she has a wonderful relationship with him now. (he is 2 and adores her) She moved in with my husband and I to help with our son, and to help her as she is disabled and not able to work. She went to stay with her parents for the weekend, and I snooped, and found it again. I need advise from anyone who has been anywhere close to this situation. She's my mother, I don't think I can kick her out, she has no one to take care of her, but my son is my #1 priority, and how can I let her care for him, or even be around him if she is on drugs?
2007-03-28 02:30:34 · 10 answers · asked by a girl like any other 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can not let her take care of your child while she is on drugs. It is also to dangerous to have those drugs in the house. Children are so curious. You will have to do a tough love act. Kick her out and force her to get treatment. I am not saying it will be easy. It will be the hardest thing you may ever have to do. The only thing worse will be her funeral. If she continues on drugs that may not be far behind. You may be saving her life.
2007-03-28 02:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by JAN 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you do is turn your mother in. She needs help and this may be the only way she can get it. When someone is on a habitual drug that is all they think about. I know your mother probably really loves you, but the drug habit will come first. You should really put your son first and his safety. Especially if she is left alone with him at anytime. It is a hard situation for you to be in, but if she doesn' t get help now it will only get worse. Believe me. I am a secretary for a Narcotics Task Force and I see this everyday at work. Until they kick the habit completely, they will always have it. It is really a hard habit to get rid of. Please get her some help now before she ruins her life and the ones she loves around her.
2007-03-28 02:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this. I wasn't on here looking for questions like this, but the world has a way of bringing things to your life when you need them. I hate to say that I was in exactly your situation.I was 27, my mom, 47 and she died not from an overdose, but continuous use. Both my parents became addicted about 5 years before she died. My father still struggles and I've tried to do everything I can in this last 2 years to make up for what I regret not doing for my mother, but I've learned I can't control anyone but myself. This has been devasting to my family! I've got some really good advice I'd love to give you in depth. I don't want to go thru all the details here, but would love to email back and forth. Its really hard to find people in our situation. Most of the time, its parents who lose kids to drugs, not the other way around. email me, we can talk. ktb712@yahoo.com
2007-03-28 03:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you allow a drug user around your child? Did you not hear about the woman who mutilated her child's genitals while on drugs this week?
Think carefully about this. What if she is busted by the cops, they come into YOUR house and find drugs, put all three of you in jail, take your son and put him in foster care and you don't see him for YEARS. Now, do you still feel like you can't kick her out? She needs help with drugs and living on her own. Get both for her quickly. I recommend taking her to the doc and letting her/him advise you and your family on what to do.
2007-03-28 02:40:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not want to do it, but your son is 2. He could very well be getting into things she's not aware of. What would happen if he would have found the drugs instead of you? If he took them, he could die. That's what would be racing through my mind. She won't get help until she hits rock bottom or a very good reason. You have to protect your family. She would have to go, unless she entered a treatment facility immediately. If she wasn't willing to do that, then I would tell her she has to find another place to live.
I wish all of you luckâ¼
She may be upset that you snooped and try to turn this on you, don't let her. You were obviously concerned about something, or you wouldn't have gone looking. You have to force her to see it's her problem for using, not yours for finding it.
2007-03-28 02:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't ever let her be around your son, if your son is #1 priority then protect him, tell your mother to get some help, sometimes the only way for one to understand something is to lose it. it was too late for my aunt who did cocaine and heroine she lost her husband and her 6 month old daughter was neglected so much she died and she has been in and out of rehab but always goes back to drugs, yes she is your mother which is why you should have her get help now before its too late and if she doesn't then you have to stand up and tell her if she doesn't then she cannot be around your son until she does.
2007-03-28 02:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well in order to take care of your son you have to be sure there are no drugs in your home. I say kick her out, find a gentle way to do so and let her know its for the good of everyone involved. try to get her some help. call your local health dept, any one!
2007-03-28 02:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by just me #1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Division is the key...in a positive sense.
Divide your mom from her behavior. Yes, this is your mom -whom you love- and that behavior isn't flying ...and own that you know it's wrong ALONG with the the fact you know who's home it is...YOURS. In fact, head of household needs to start the conversation with you in full submission ....deal with it as one. As wives we submit to our husbands when he is doing what God favors. If mum throws a fit and turns into a child right before your eyes it doesn't mean you are being disrespectful towards your parent it means she has allowed herself to get her life into trouble and has to own that she's caused U to have to deal with what is taking place in your home.
Our brother had to be confronted on the issue of his backsliding concerning alcohol as we, at the time, had a house full of teenage boys. On top of that he was drinking AND driving. He broke trust, disrespected our home rules, and didn't show any concern as to what he was doing in front of our teens. We had to follow up with our end of the agreement which resulted in him having to look for an apartment.
2007-03-28 03:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people who snoop should be prepared for what they find... you figure it out....I do not like the fact she is using drugs when she is around your son/home.. But i do not respect people who look through other peoples personal belongings..... messed up any way you look at it.
2007-03-28 02:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
put her in rehab
2007-03-28 02:34:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋