it is my opinion aginst his about brest feeding.?

Question

im so sick of this topic coming up, im 7 mounths preg. and my husband wants me to brest feed. well, i know it is good for the baby, but mentaly i dont want to. my husband will make coments how it will save money, and how it will help me loose weight. ahhhhhh, that is so unfair. he'll say it is up to me, but then it will come back up in week or two. he trys to tell me to just try it. and talk to my doctor, she will tell me it is best. BUT I KNOW IT IS BEST.... but it make me feel unconfortable. please, what is yalls opinion? it is driven me crazy. im am tryen to listen to him, i have read up on this. i do know the good things about this. BUT..... please.... gives me something that i can tell my husband, i feel stupid and have nothing to back me on this.
thank you in advance for your comments, and please dont be rude. i have thought about this for more than 7 mounths, bc he keeps bringing this up.

Answer 1

It is ultimately your choice. I never thought that i could breastfeed either but I did and it turned out to be one of the hardest yet best decisions i ever made. You choose.

Answer 2

Then do what I did. Buy a good breast pump, pump your breast milk and give it to your baby in a bottle. I'm 42 yrs old and I've raised 4 children. Breast milk really is the best thing for your baby, especially the thick sticky stuff you will produce in the first two weeks called colostrum. Mothers milk benefits the baby not only physically but studies show it may even increase their intelligence and mental development. I had to return to work after my children were born so I pumped my milk and refrigerated it. You can even freeze it for a while. Why don't you suggest this to your husband, pointing out that while your baby will still have the benefits of the healthiest possible milk, it will enable HIM to share in the bonding/feeding process by sharing bottlefeeding duties. After all, Daddies need to bond with baby too!

Answer 3

You have to be comfortable with it in order for it to be best for the baby. I chose to breastfeed, but I had no idea how hard it was going to be. My son is now 4 months old and I am still finding it difficult. I know that it is best for the baby and that is why I have stuck with it, but it is physically and mentally exhausting. Also, unless you express, you will be the only one who will be able to feed the baby and this may lead to your husband feeling unable to help and miss out on bonding with him/her (by the way... pumping isn't that fun either). Our baby now only wants me when he is really upset and tired as I am the one with the milk, and this has led to my husband feeling really left out and unable to support me, especially in the middle of the night when I have been up for hours and really just want a rest. On the other hand, it is really rewarding and there is an undescibable feeling of love that you feel when your baby is that close to you and you are giving him/her everything that they need. There are alot of positives to breastfeeding, but there are negatives also so it is important that you do what is best for your situation. Might I suggest that you at least give it a go for the first few days as this is the most important time when you pass immunities to the baby that he/she will really need in the first year. Good luck with everything!

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear this is a bone of contention between you and your husband. It sounds like he wants what he sees as best for your coming child without thinking about what may be best for you. Remind him that parents being happy is extremely important for the child as well- and if mom's not happy it makes it far more difficult to raise a child well- also if your baby is bottle fed (which you can also do with breast milk), it means he's getting up at night too.

I read the book "The Expectant Father" when my wife was pregnant with both our kids- it was awesome. It really helps a man try and understans and be more empathetic towards what we can never truly understand, and that's a woman's pregnancy. If you don't think he'd be receptive towards reading it if you tell him it may make him see your point of view, tell him someone you know who has kids recommended it-- I do think it talks about breastfeeding and bottle feeding.

OK, no for bottle feeding-- in today's world, the formulas are very very good (not the same as breast milk but you know that) for your child. They contain all the nutrients and vitamins a baby needs for development.

As for your apprehension about breast feeding- I assume you have asked yourself why you are against it? My wife breastfed and to me there is no sight more beautiful, and it didn't make her breasts all saggy. It also made me a little jealous. She did pump too, which allowed me to be a part of the feedings too and bond with my children- and get up at night occasionally too.

However, all this is moot as it truly is your choice- you have probably heard ALL the pros and cons about breast feeding. However, don't totally shut your mind to the idea. Breastfeeding may just happen naturally when you deliver the baby. You may take one look at her/him and just decide it's something you want to do. You won't hurt your child in any way if you don't breastfeed.

Answer 5

I won't go into the benefits or the detriments of breast vs bottle feeding. What I will say is that I really wanted my wife to breast feed. She tried, and did not make enough milk. She tried to pump and felt humiliated. I appreciated that she tried, and accept that she will not breastfeed our second child.
Try to understand for your self what it is about breastfeeding that you are uncomfortable with. How does it make you feel?
By understanding your own feelings, you will be better able to explain to your husband. No guarantees that he will still understand, but at least you will try. Try pumping milk and then sharing feeding duties with your husband. The baby will still be getting breast milk, just not straight from your breast. If you are uncomfortable with this, then no one can force you, and no one will think that you are not looking after your baby the best way. Don't breast feed if you don't really want to. The first moments with your baby should be filled with love, not regret/resentment or any other kind of negative feelings. That love can be shown by breastfeeding OR bottle feeding!

Answer 6

Argh, don't you just hate that when people, especially your husband doesn't listen? You have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you don't want to then maybe your milk won't flow. I breast fed both my babies; and I'm happy I did; but I think that society puts too much pressure on moms to breastfeed. That is so wrong. Loving your baby is the most important, and if you are forced to breastfeed then you may end up not enjoying feeding your baby and creating the bond.

Try telling him that maybe you'll change your mind when the baby comes, but for now him bugging you makes you want to it less. Many infant formula's are very good, and millions of babies thrive on that, and cost shouldn't be the issue.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 7

I know he's irritating you to no end, but your husband is only concerned for his baby's health-- the baby that the two of you have created *together*. While they are your breasts, obviously your discomfort, your effort, and your choice in the end, I do think you should consider his feelings on the matter and compromise a little. He is thinking first and foremost of the baby, while it does seem that you are thinking mainly of your own interests. (Not trying to judge, just making an observation.) You're not a mom quite yet, so it's not necessarily going to come naturally to always think of the baby first, but once s/he arrives, you will never spend another moment of your life *without* thinking of him/her first and foremost! ;)

Maybe agree to go to a La Leche League meeting (husbands are welcome at some meetings-- contact your local group), or a breastfeeding class of some sort (most hospitals have them), and try to get together with a couple of breastfeeding moms who are past the problematic stage, to see how they look when they are settled in comfortably feeding their babies. Put forth a good effort to understand breastfeeding better before the baby is even here. You may find that you are willing to at least give it a 2 week trial run (or even 2 days! anything is better than nothing, really), and then your husband can't find any fault with you for giving it a try and discovering that you really didn't enjoy it after all.

To be fair, though, it's true that breastfeeding often takes 4-6 weeks for first-time moms (or first-time breastfeeders) to get the system running smoothly. If you can find it within yourself to put your baby's interests first as your husband is doing, and commit to at least 6 weeks of breastfeeding (even if you hit a rough patch or two), you may find that it's a much better experience than you are expecting now. And if you don't, you can always choose to pump & bottlefeed your milk, or wean to formula at that point, confident that you'll never have to worry about feeling guilty (or that your husband will try to make you feel guilty) for not having tried at all. Everyone wins in that scenario!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and best of luck with your decision!

Answer 8

It is ultimately your decision. I didn't breastfeed my oldest, but I did other two babies. I loved breastfeeding. It was very relaxing and forced me to take a break. But if you feel uptight about it, your baby will pick up on that. Today's formulas are very good and you should not feel guilty about bottle feeding if that is your choice. You can still bond with your baby by holding him close while feeding. If money is an issue, try looking into WIC. It isn't welfare, but it helps lower income families. Good luck and remember that no matter what your hubby says, it truly is your decision.

Answer 9

I totally agree with you, my husband wanted me to breastfeed also. There is a reason they made formula. Not everyone is comfortable with breastfeeding, I was not. I have 2 children, both were bottle fed and are totally healthy. When I have more children they will be bottle fed also. These people that say if you love your baby you will breastfeed, are so full of it. I love my children just as much as anyone else, they are my life! People need to come down off their high horse and live in the real world for a while! Breast or bottle, either one will work! Good Luck!

Answer 10

I feel kinda like you do, Last night I had my hopital tour, and did all the paperwork to register to have my baby. The nurse who did all of this with me asked me if I was planning on breast or bottle feeding, and I said I was probably gonna bottle feed, and she gave me a 20 minute "talk" about how good it was for the baby... blah blah. Stuff we all know.
Personally the thought of it just seems kinda "wierd" to me (for lack of a better word) I havent completely ruled out breastfeeding, but at the same time dont really see it happening either. Wish people wouldnt try to make us feel bad about our decisions. There are plenty of healthy babies that have been fed formula. This probably didnt help you much, sorry. Good Luck.

Answer 11

It's your body and your baby. Give it a try, if you don't like it or it makes you uncomfortable, then don't do it. I'm 5 months pregnant and plan to combine breast and bottle. If it doesn't work for me, I'm not going to do it. A friend of mine hated doing it, but was able to do it for 3 months. She said every time she put the baby to her, she thought, "My little parasite". Mentally, she couldn't get over that. So, just tell hubby that he can advise you only if he's been where you are and we all know that's not going to happen. I say that to my hubby sometimes, "Well, when you're pregnant, you make sure you...(do whatever)" Then he backs off. If it doesn't work for you and you would be miserable then it's not worth it, you're going to be under enough stress as it is. :)