Friend in trouble?
Friend met guy on cupid, after 3 months ready to commit? Help!?
My friend met a guy on cupid. He has 3 kids and is just a bit older than her. He thinks only 1 kid is his (says his exwife cheated). He told my friend he might fight for custody of the one kid, as long as it doesn't mess things up between them. He recently told her he hates using condoms. He also complained when he couldn't make her climax. When she said she wanted to wait to have sex, he asked he if she needed flowers, rose petals, music- he could run out and get them. She already calls him honey and they have already talked about getting married one day and that he would move in with her. He said his ex wiped him out financially. I am afraid he is using her. What should I do? I told her to have him get tested and make him wear condoms. She is normally SO much slower in a relationship and SO much smarter.
2007-03-28 02:23:06 · 9 answers · asked by natsuko1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is red flags all over this one!!! For a start one of the more important issues her health the condom issue, he needs to wear condoms she's only known him like two minutes she could catch anything, plus isn't he saying that he thinks the kids aren't his so his ex must have cheated on him, if so wouldn't he be wary that he hasn't caught something for her. I agree totally she should get him tested and wear condoms until such time the tests come back clear. But also is she on some form of contraceptive, otherwise she might end up with a child with him which he later dismisses to not be his.
And on the issue on his wife and the kids, he doesn't know for sure that the kids aren't his but yet he is still willing to break them up and only fight for custody of one. That's wrong. If he has strong suspicions that they are'nt his he should get a DNA test first to be sure.
On the money issue, does he not have a job?
They definetly should'nt even be considering marriage at the moment for a start they've barely known each other two minutes and it sounds like hes only just separated from his ex-wife.
To be honest hunny if you get really involved she could end up shunning you and keeping him. You sound like a really good friend, I would give her advise, comment on situations, and let her know you are there for her. She could end up getting sick of him sooner rather than later. Alot of the times at the begginnings of relationships we're so sweep up that we either don't see their faults or choose not to reconise them. If you try to break them up even though it would be in her best interest you would be just pushing them closer together, she would rebell against you and it would make them stronger as they would have a common enemy trying to separate them. If you just sit back and be there for her she probally will relise on her own. The only time i would say get invovled is if her health is in danger.
Good Luck hunny.
2007-03-28 02:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Natalie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd be very cautious of a man who hates using condoms for one, two a man who is financially screwed up because when she marries him all his problems become her problem. Finances are the number one strain on relationships, sex coming in a very close second. If he's complaining about why she doesn't climax then they will have problems there too. He needs to understand that not all women are able to climax, that's just the facts of life. This guy could be a pretty swell guy but he has a lot of hangups in my opinion. You can only be the wiser as a friend but she's going to live her life and make the best of it as she can. Just be there for her when the crap hits the fan... hopefully it doesn't.
2007-03-28 02:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Monique 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,didnt you ask this question yesterday?Maybe,i just saw something similar.
To answer your question,i think that you should let her handle the situation.I know that you are concerned for her.You can tell her you are concerned for her,and leave it at that.If she is really serious about this man,it sounds as if she is then you really cannot change her mind.She has to learn for herself.Who knows,maybe eventually they will have a wonderful relationship.I think that they are both adults,and they can handle the situation.I also must say,is it your place to say and decide how she handles her relationship?Or state "She is normally so much slower in a relationship and some much smarter"?Maybe she really cares for this guy,and right now if she cares for him as it seems she does,then all you can do is be supportive.You can state your opinion,but she also has her opinion and she is the one in the situation.Just be a supportive friend to her,let her know you are concerned and leave it at that.Good luck hun,and have a good day!
2007-03-28 02:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seem like he is cheating on her and i think all the kids are his and also your friend and him should both get tested if they are not going to use a condom and your friend should tell her boyfriend that they should use a condom because what if they have a kid together by accident and i think your friend needs to wait a while to get married and you should ask your friend is she OK by raising his kid and if in a relationship your friend takes it slower then she should wait and why all of a sudden she wants to have a fast relationship but maybe she really like this guy and she thinks he is the one
2007-03-28 02:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check up on that guy.Follow him or anything but don't do this if he is a strong and big guy-you may get hurt.This kind of guy may be a cheat.Quite dangerous.What you told your friend is the a good sugesstion.When one's in a relationship,they tends to do things they themselves can't imagine they will do.
Its quite natural.Cheer up and relax.
2007-03-28 02:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by fadingoff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she is your best friend/very good friend, then talk to her. You supposed to guide her if she is on wrong path. If she doesnt like it and dont listen to you, leave it upto her.Dont bother about it.
If she is just a casual friend then let her face the situation.
I dont think there is anything more than this, that you can do.
2007-03-28 02:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by where i am... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay okay there is not much you can do and from the way you make it sound it sounds like he is using her she just needs to find that out. But if you do tell her me nice about it.
2007-03-28 02:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she should leave such a boyfriend. he is cheating him. but she should not do anything. she must forget the past and live in the present
2007-03-28 02:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by chinshah2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a three way
2007-03-28 02:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by shining star 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋