My best friend's boyfriend came out of the closet to her. Funny thing is I knew he had a little sugar in his tank and I would tell her, but she would never believe me. Now she is crying and heart broken, but he says he still loves her and wants to keep the relationship going. He even said he possibly might like to keep dating women! I dont get it, she still wants him! He is gay, he likes men so why is she still sticking around?
2007-03-28 02:19:57 · 15 answers · asked by Still Standing 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Even though she now knows the truth, she still hopes to "change" him; swing him back to her side of the fence. It won't happen, of course, but she's entitled to try.
Thing is, she'll be even more devastated if he one day he tells her she should get and AIDS test.
She needs to accept the fact and make the break now, before the consequences are irreversible.
2007-03-28 02:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For what you described, she is actually really in love with him.
She has fallen for him, and apparently he also loves her. I could be wrong, I don’t know your friends, but I have the feeling that the two of them are really in love, not only as lovers, but as best friends and soul mates.
If this is the case, then there is nothing wrong with both of them still dating, and that makes him not gay as he claims to be, but bi-sexual. Being bi is something very common today as many people (guys and girls) have bi-curious feelings and since now is ok to show your “other side” not like long time ago, more people keep on “emerging” from nowhere claiming they are bi.
If he thinks he is just gay, then he needs to find out if he is really willing to be with her as a serious relation. If he is, and he agrees with the fact he likes her and wants to have a full relation (including having sex) with her, and at the same time he is ok with dating a guy and having the same kind of relation with them (including again sex), then he must admit and accept that he is not just gay, but bi.
The problem is that if he is bi, your friend must decide if she is going to live with that, and accept the fact that she might have to “share” him with other men. It is not the first time that this happens, and only open minded girls are able to stay in this kind of relation, and most of them usually are ok having a threesome including a real “triangle” relation where the girl could be bi and have a girlfriend and a boyfriend and they also are ok with each other, or in your friend’s case, the other way around, the guy having a girlfriend and a boyfriend and they both are ok with each other.
Morally, society doesn’t accept this. But I think that is BS because nobody has the right to tell you who you date and how many people you date at the same time. The law says (in most countries) that you can only marry one person, but it doesn’t say you can’t keep on dating other people, or that you can’t date same sex people. So, I would suggest everybody to keep their noses out of other’s people business and let them be.
So at the end, the final decision will be hers. If she is willing to try this kind of relation, or if she is ok with it, then she should be fine. Otherwise, she is better of ending the relation before she gets hurt.
If you get to talk to her, you can give her advice based on this facts, but don’t tell her what to do. You can tell her what you would do, but leave the decision to her as she might choose the wrong option and will blame you later for it.
2007-03-28 09:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to provide your friend with encouragement to move on. This young man will never be willing to settle for a male/female relationship. She is putting herself at risk by staying in the relationship. My guess is he has "tested the waters" and probably has been having sex with men for some time. For him to come out to her was the honorable and right thing to do, however, he should end the relationship. I hope you will help your friend through this, it has to be traumatic for her, get her out of the house and put her in situations where there are men. What an awful charade to continue for 5 years. I would be so angry with him......
2007-03-28 09:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by sunset 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could mean he is "Bi". I'd try to convince her to dump him now....then run to the nearest doctor for an exam and see what, if any diseases she may have given him. Not all are detectable. Tell her something crude to get the point across to her...like he might "do it" with a gay guy, then immediately come to her and ask for "oral"...if that doesn't get her attention, nothing will.
2007-03-28 09:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by auditor4u2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't gay. "He even said he possibly might like to keep dating women!" Sounds like an excuse to break up.
2007-03-28 09:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this guy that you are talking about is by and not gay and you need to get your friend some serious help. And also tell her that their are other fish in the sea she will get over it sooner or later.
2007-03-28 09:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kali S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is in love with him regardless of his preference. They have been together for 5 long years. I suggest being there for her as a friend and not judging her.
2007-03-28 09:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!!!! that's a difficult one.i will feel like s h i t h if happens to me,imagine knowing that in the mean time when you having you know what whit him,maybe he was having that with a MAN
2007-03-28 09:26:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants a shot at some of his rejects.
2007-03-28 09:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the Curb!!
2007-03-28 11:13:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋