My 7 y/o is having a rough time in her after-school program. Most of the other girls are older and into the whole popularity contest, so she doesn't really play with them. The staff and I have been encouraging her to branch out her friendships, since summer is coming soon and she will be there all day. (The other kids never reject her, she just doesn't play with them because they were once mean to her good friend). Today the staff told me that she made an extremely rude comment to her friend about two other girls, which her friend then told to the other girls. The staff tried to sit them all down together, but my daughter hid her face and cried through the whole thing.
My plan is to have a serious talk with her about her behavior and explain to her that we NEVER make these kids of comments about other people and have her write an apology note to the girls. Would you say that's an appropriate consequence?
2007-03-28 02:15:23 · 9 answers · asked by eallison 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Wow, I feel like I could have wrote this 4 years ago.
My daughter went through the same exact thing.
I think that what you are doing is fine..you are setting a great example for your daughter.
The only thing I suggest is to make sure that your daughter wasn't provoked in any sort of way.Not that two wrongs make a right-but in the end it was what was happening to my daughter. The other girls were talking about her and being mean. But it was all explained and taught that you don't talk about other people or call them names-no matter what.
I went through 3 years of this...it's hard to see your child feel sort of lost.
Good luck-sounds like your a great Mom!
2007-03-28 04:16:38 · answer #1 · answered by Willow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, one rude comment is not a HUGE deal - I think you just need to make sure it doesn't happen again. Probably your daughter is feeling left out, PLUS she is trying to fit in with older kids, so does not always realize that certain things just should NEVER be said. The fact that she hid her face and cried makes me think that she didn't really intend to be naughty. I would question the fact that her 'friend' repeated the comment to the other 2 girls, though. This is not a true friend. A not of apology is a good idea - she does need to apologize, but it sounds like it would be really hard for her to do it face-to-face.
You know, this just does not sound like a healthy environment for your lil girl. Is there another program she could attend? She needs kids her age to be with, not older kids that she is going to pick up bad things from. It sounds to me like a 'sink or swim' situation, and she is sinking. Or maybe is there a chance you could invite one of the other girls over to your house once or twice to give your daughter a chance to make friends that way? Even ONE good friend could make a big difference here.
2007-03-28 14:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good start. Talk to her about what they may have said about her friend and why they may have been mean. Girls can be cruel at that young age. I hated to think that. I have to do it with my daughter. I cannot believe some of the stuff her and her friends would say about others, at such a young age. She may need to talk to the other girls. She may feel that they did something or said something first, in case her being made to write them a note could make her feelings toward that group of girls worse. She needs to understand now that whatever she says to anyone, can come back, and create problems like this. Good Luck, this is a problem all mothers of girls face...It just starts so young these days.
2007-03-28 09:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by HappyGoLucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it's a good first step. She obviously knows she did wrong or she wouldn't have been that upset during the sit down talk at the program. Just keep an eye on her and have staff keep an eye on her while she is there. It's hard to be that age anymore. Kids aren't allowed to be kids today, they all have to be "grown ups" by birth. I say you are handling this the right way and it will pay off. Good luck
2007-03-28 09:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled it very well. I'm relieved to see you didn't do a corporal punishment like a lot of people I know or blow it out of proportion. We all make bad comments about others on occassion, and I bet she's heard it, if not from you, then from others and thinks it's normal, as long as you don't say it to the person directly. All I can say, is I would have done the same thing.
2007-03-28 10:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage her to develop the quiet attitude and get all the facts. She has been hurt before and wants to hurt but does not know to just say nothing. Gossip is a hard lesson to get across because adults do it. It fills time. Teach her to repeat only positives. Good luck mom
2007-03-28 11:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR
FIRST GREAT JOB MOM
BUT LET HER MAKE NEW FRIENDS SOUNDS LIKE JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS RIGHT NOW OK
SO SEE IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT INSTEAD OF THE ONES PICKING ON HER NO CHILD SHOULD BE PICKED ON MY BOOK OK
TAKE CARE
2007-03-29 03:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think that is appropriate.
2007-03-28 16:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by Zack H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good job, mom.
2007-03-28 09:18:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋