I'm staying with mother in law now and a problem has come up. Basically, we've reunited with estranged brother and law, wife and our Godson. Its very very tentative, as they have problems with our dog and basically create a load of problems for us associated with the dog.
We met up once in a neutral place where dog was not allowed. Mother in law gave trouble to look after the dog, but agreed as we were reuniting the two young children (our 3 yo son and our 2 yo Godson).
Now a second meeting has been arranged and mother in law had a tantrum because she won't look after the dog. Angrily, I ask her if she'd prefer me to stay a home and look after the dog (who cant be left alone). Mother in law agrees with this option, despite my explaining that I won't get to see Godson on this second visit. She sees Godson very often. My wife, my son and I haven't seen him in over a year!
We're staying with mother in law until middle April. After this bust up I really want to bail out now and (more)..
2007-03-28 01:54:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
...and just come home, but our sons got a birthday party to attend on the 8th April.
My wife's family are really selfish as she does everything for them, even though she's unwell a lot of the time. MOther in law is especially selfish and will send daughter on errands despite how sick she is. This has always made me very angry, but wife is very close to her mother and whenever I try to raise the issue of her mother we have what I describe as "mum wars" where we end up fighting over her.
I am really angry with mother in law now and sickened by my wife's selfish family on a whole, but we're stuck here until April. How do I get through it?
2007-03-28 01:56:56 · update #1
Wanted to add that everyone seems to think that the important thing is getting mother in law to see the boys together. This really annoys me as mother in law is lazy and has tried to do nothing to make the situation any better - just like everything else in her life. Seems to be that she can just sit there waiting for everything to come to her with her poor daughter AND ME running after her.
2007-03-28 02:00:20 · update #2
I would not put the dog in kennels as he is a family member to us. My wife thinks of him as a son.
2007-03-28 02:00:52 · update #3
Yes am putting the dog before selfish rubbish "family". We chose him and have a commitment to him.
2007-03-28 02:01:51 · update #4
When we invite these b****s to our place they still want us to keep our dog away from them.
2007-03-28 02:04:03 · update #5
Luckily you don't have much time left.
You are staying at her house so I would actually just bite my tongue and grin and bear it while you are there. Her house, her rules. Just hope that you'll never have to be in that situation again.
2007-03-28 01:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Nunya 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Where is your dog staying if you are staying with your mother in law?
If I were you I would suck it up & put up with it until you can move back out in April - it's only a few more weeks, then the next time you have all the children together again, invite them to YOUR place, that way the dog stays, it's on YOUR ground & YOUR terms. It gives you a little control back.
I know it is difficult for you but it will be very difficult for your wife. My partner didn't get on with my mother for the first few years & it isn't pleasant being stuck in the middle of it all.
My dad & sister aren't keen on my dog either but if they can't accept my dog, they can't accept me!
2007-03-28 09:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cori 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your family has a hard enough time maintaining normal relationshsips for whatever reason. The unfortunate part of moving in with someone is that you have to abide by their rules and decisions. You should bail. As a mother in law myself I think she's very gracious to take you in dog and all. I think it's unreasonable for you to expect she should oversee the care of your dog. Don't you have friends that could help out? Isn't there somewhere you could board the dog a short period of time. If seeing this child is that important to you, then take the necessary steps to make it happen. Don't expect others to always help you out.
2007-03-28 09:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by Grianagh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the good news is its march the 28th and im sure your counting down the days,it sounds to me as mother in law is just being awkward.ammm may have a solution to your problem see if you can get someone (teenager or something)to take dog for walk while you are out.that way u could go aswell.have a look on internet for these pet sitters in your area or phonebook.that will shut mother in law up.just hang in there ok not many days left
2007-03-28 09:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by fairy_gdmthr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do they want you to keep the dog away? Did it bite or growl or act agressive toward someone? If so, they are not being selfish. They are acting responsibly with their children. If this is the case, get your dog training.
As for the situation with the MIL, if you don't like the things she is asking your family to do, move now. Otherwise, she is not your dog sitter and is doing you a favor by disrupting her life to let your family and dog live in her house, even if you are paying bills or rent.
BTW, you don't sound like you even like these relatives you are trying to reunite with so why even bother.
Good luck!
2007-03-28 09:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but that is not her dog...that is your responsibility. If you cant stay with the dog at all times, then maybe you should find a good home for the dog. If you love your dog too much, then you and your wife need to take turns. People get grouchy and impossible as they age. You just gotta let them be and ignore them sometimes. I know its hard but what can we do? We will be in their shoes one day. Hey my bday is April 8!! Happy bday to whomever the party is for!!
2007-03-28 09:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but you're living under your in laws' roof, so you have to abide by their house rules and you have to take care of your own responsibility. Why can't you take the dog with you? The kids would enjoy playing with him / her. Your mother in law is already accommodating you by letting you stay with her. That is not selfish. You, on the other hand, are being unreasonable to expect her to babysit your dog when you want her to. I think you should find your own place to live and find another babysitter. That dog sounds spoiled.
2007-03-28 09:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by Optimistic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if the Mother-in-law isn't the only one who is acting selfishly.
Why can't the dog be left alone? If MIL can't/won't take care of it, and she doesn't have to, it's not her dog, put it in a kennel or park it at the vets for a bit. You are putting the dog before family.
2007-03-28 08:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by lyllyan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
could you not ask a friend or put the dog in a kennel for the day, or pick some where to meet where the dog will be allowed, it will only be a one off as from the middle of april you could invite your brother and wife round to your new home
2007-03-28 09:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by angie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've got about 3 more weeks left. Grin and bear it...they all seem rude and selfish but unfortunately you can't pick your in laws.
You can be mad but just stay home...after you move then you can see your Godson as much as you want.
2007-03-28 08:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by colie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a normal mother in law!
2007-03-28 08:57:16 · answer #11 · answered by emeraldisle2222 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋