how do you cope when you six year old has ADHD?

Question

My friends son who is six years old has just been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention deficit, hyperactive disorder) and has been put on tablets. She has cut out all sugar products from his diet too. She just wanted to know if there is anything else she can do to help him. any advice would be grately appreciated. thank you.

Answer 1

1. A schedule - basic needs. Time to get up, time to have lunch made by, breakfast time, medication time, time to leave for school. ---After school snack, homework, dinner time, free time and TV hour, bath, snack and bed. (This was the schedule we used) Do not deviate! Even changing the order of bath-snack-bed messes things up!
2. Meds, if you choose that route. We had Ritalin, which did give headaches, and total meltdowns when it wore off. It lasted 4 hours a dose, so we scheduled free time and TV time when the mood swings were most likely. Notice how homework was immediately after school - this was because medication was still effective until 5pm or so.
3. Extra curriculars. We chose swimming. Competition style. This meant at least an hour straight of swimming lengths. Got some of that energy out, to make bedtime easier. We did have to start a partial med. dose after school though - to allow for the after school activity, and still focus on homework. Schedule things to do on weekends, and summer holidays so basic needs schedule cannot be ignored (by parents). We signed up for 9am daily swim classes or rescue skills lessons, and volunteer work so that we had no choice but to continue the schedule. This comes in really handy at the end of summer, when the next school term is going to start. Your kid will be on track and ready to go!
4. Quiet, SUPERVISED homework area. We no longer have a dining room. It has two desks with computers, and a shelf full of encyclopaedias. Parent must frequently return childs attention to their work, and try re-explaining what teacher was talking about. Chances are the child was "organizing" elsewhere, or teacher doesn't have patience to focus 1-1 attention to child.
5. Cuddle and talk before bedtime when they're "wound down". Let them know about all the good things they've done that day. Talk about the things they can improve. These kids get a lot of negative vibes because of ADHD. Uneducated folks scoff at their medication issues, and some regard the kids as BAD because they've already gained a reputation. They need to hear just as many, or more positive remarks to balance their lives. Imagine if most of the comments you receive in a day are negative - what would you end up thinking of yourself?
6. A stay at home parent - if at all possible. I opted to shop second hand for clothing, and make home-made food instead of frozen/prepared. The food was healthier, and the odd Name Brand item perked up the wardrobes. Nobody felt like they went without. We had one car instead of two, and went on less vacations. We found just as much to do - but just less expensive.

Here's our story:

My daughter, now 17, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8. We knew for years before this - but the doctor refused to believe anything was wrong. (When a child can make more than one of her grandparents cry with frustration because they can't cope with her over-active behaviour, there may be a problem.) She was getting a label as "troublemaker" as early as grade two. I knew this wasn't because she was "simple", but instead, a very high functioning child who just needed to be in control of all situations around her. (This led to all that bopping and jumping around) After beginning medication, I began the SCHEDULE. Like others have mentioned in this post, it is a necessity! My daughter functioned the best when she knew what to expect. She no longer had to worry about what was going to happen - it was the same every day. Even during summer holidays. She knew when she was getting up, when to do chores, nightly bath, snack and bedtime. It was vital to stick to the schedule.
Although she seemed to be "all over the place" I noticed after some time, that the only thing she was trying to do was organize. The problem, was that she could not focus on her task until all other "issues" around her had been taken care of. If she had a question for the teacher, or Johnny in the desk beside wanted help with his math sheet and Mary couldn't read a certain word in her book - my daugher would not be able to focus on her own work until all of those needs had been met. She would blurt her questions to the teacher, get in trouble for helping Johnny and be sent to the back of the class for helping Mary with her reading, because she was speaking out of turn in class. All this for the need to organize - so that she could then do her own work. She also exhibited a lack of judgement regarding prioritization. All of the problems got equal time - even though her own work should have been most important. She truly did not want to be THE BAD GIRL. She didn't try to be the bad girl when she had been sent to the principals office, and then couldn't stop asking what the principal was working on, and if she could help. (sitting quietly was not an option!)
To shorten the story - medication was a big help. The schedule was even more important. Keeping them involved in extracurricular activities is imperative! My daughter is now a highschool Junior, is going to be school senator for second year, and has stayed on the honor roll for all of higschool so far. She coaches swimming, lifeguards, and coaches special olympics. She has over four hundred hours of community service logged , and continues to find new opportunities to help. She is taking her second year off medication - and it is a proud moment when I see her with all aspects of her life organized in her planner/calendar. I do not know what challenges she will face in University - but am solid in my belief that she will do just fine.

Just a note - we also have two younger daughters. They grew up knowing nothing other than the "schedule". It's working great for them too!

Answer 2

My six year old has ADHD as well, and besides meds, and diet, thye need strict routine. They need to know what is going to happen at each particular time of the day. My son knows what is expected of him each day and sometimes I just have to say one time what it is he should be doing and he will pull himself right back on track. Be patient, it takes time to get there. And lots of encouragement they need this more than anything. Giving him a chore chart with some responsibilities will help too, if he does what is on the chart then he can earn a prize at the end of the week. This is what we do. Our chart is rather simple. First two things are does homework without any complications (meaning no fussing or not wanting to cooperate), second is gets good report from teacher or gets no calls home. Then he has small chores to do each day. he is responsible for helping his brother feed and water the dog each evening, he is responsible for his bedroom each night. What ever he may have been playing with or had out is to be put away before going to bed. This keeps things very basic and he can easily follow them. As he gets older the chart will grow.......

Answer 3

Hi, sugar is not the culprit - it's all the other stuff that is added to junk foods. Esp. colours. Give your friend this web address www.fedup.com.au
It's all about how food effects behaviour and can cause ADD /ADHD like behaviour in children. Please also pass this on

"Warnings Considered For ADHD Drugs
(CBS) Strokes, heart attacks, psychosis and hallucinations are some conditions that users of ADHD drugs have developed after treatment. That's why the panel is meeting on Wednesday. They might recommend the FDA put labels on the medications warning users of these risks.

Millions of parents like Ron Furman have children with ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

"Argumentative, screaming and yelling, temper tantrums, anxiety attacks, the works." said Ron Furman.

Those and other warning signs like easy distraction, inability to concentrate or complete tasks, and restlessness and impulsivity for at least six months define ADHD.

The most common type of treatment is medication.

"As a parent you always wonder if this is the right thing.... if... putting your kid on a drug... it's a big deal," said Furman.

“Stimulant medications are the first type of treatment doctors try, because they have been shown to successfully treat 7 out of 10 patients with ADHD,” said Mona Khanna, M.D. “They help patients ignore distractions and focus, and complete tasks without frustration. But now many of those medications are under fire because some users have developed rare but serious medical conditions.”

The medications under the microscope are amphetamines like Dexedrine and Adderall, and methylphenidates like Concerta, Focalin, Metadate, Methylin and Ritalin.

The FDA will decide if patients need to be warned about an association with heart problems such as heart attacks, and psychiatric problems such as hallucinations, psychosis or mania in children. Black box warnings are serious markers of possible risk. The ADHD drug Strattera already carries a warning stating that it can increase suicidal thinking in teens.

"So the public understands the safety and is able to evaluate the risk of safety in light of extraordinary effective benefit of the medications," said psychiatrist David Goodman, M.D.

And in light of this controversy, The National Consumer League has just launched a website dedicated to ADHD education.

"We hope to provide the tools to parents of children with ADHD so they can have the information they can talk with their doctors about," said Linda Golodner of the National Consumers League.

The founding sponsor of this new ADHD website is the company that manufactures Concerta, a medication used to treat ADHD. I spoke to Linda, and she said the sponsor has no influence on the information on the website.

Answer 4

My son was labeled with it years ago and we tried the meds. They gave him headaches and had an adverse affect so we took him off. We found that it was best to give him things to do that were fun to do, but really made him concentrate on what he was doing. Alot of children have different behaviors from having ADHD and I'm not sure what is the most problem behavior for your friends son, but believe it or not, keeping an organized schedule and following through with discipline is the key. The parents should be thoroughly involved with the child's activities as much as they can. While doing this, they can monitor the behavior more and see what works as far as reasoning for both the child and the parent. The hardest things about being a parent is insistence and persistence.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

ADD or ADHD is just a way for parents to cope with their children being children. All kids develop in their own special way and not letting them enjoy their childhood is a crime. Tell your friend that sugar doesn't cause hyperactivity, by the way.

Answer 6

First up HELP YOUR FRIEND!!!! Baby sit. She will probably find a lot of people can't cope with his behaviour and will need all the support she can get. Dont judge her child rearing. The next 15 yr old checkout chick telling me how to bring up my ADHD 10yr old gets thumped.

My advice to her is

1. Be consistant.

Obsessively so. I had a stop watch timetable for a while. Morning wake up is at this time .... breakfast til this time..... get dressed... I even had a chart explaining what needed to be done to get dressed for school.

2.Keep it Simple.

Instant rewards, instant punishments. Make sure they know exactly what is acceptable and what isn't. Remember they are likely to forget a lot and will need more re inforcement than the norms.

3. Dont over complicate things

Keep all instructions short and too the point. If you ask too much at once there is a risk they will forget to do everything you have asked of them

4. This is not necessarily or totally diet related.

If cutting out sugars, chocolate or red food colouring ( which is also in edicol dyes used in kindies, by the way) still leaves a fidgetty phil, then thats just life. This isn't his, hers or your fault. Sometimes stuff just happens.

Often ADHD seems to occur as part of a larger picture. Please be aware that some kids with ADHD also present with Autistic like symptoms, have non-specific language disorder or other problems. This can result in the child having poor social skills, being ostracised at school and struggling to learn.

Wow. this is a little more depressing than I had planned. A great book if you can find it is The LD and ADD Child. I cant remember the Author, but it outlines both the positives and the negatives of kids like this as well as some strategies to help deal.

Good luck to both you, your friend and the Tigger boy

(The wonderful thing about Tiggers
-And Tiggers are wonderful Things
Is their heads are made out of Rubber
And their tails are made out of springs.)

Answer 7

In addition to meds tell her to have him take a vitamin and an Omega 3 (fish oil that can help him focus) each day. Take her son to lots of parks and open areas where he can run about. Try doing a lot of three step directions with him at home. (Go to the bathroom, turn the water on, and wash your hands) See if he can follow them and as he gets better, add a forth direction. (helps with listening and following directions). Watch what he eats. No sodas, low amounts of sugar and lots of heathy food. Put him to bed at reasonable hour. Also she should try sitting with him with a blanket and a book. See if he can calm down and stay interested in the story. Have her ask him questions while she read it and point things out in the pictures. Keep the house a calm and relaxing environment, no horseplay. (easier said than done) Try to keep to a routine schedule with events, but not something extremely strick! Praise him for good and explain why instead of yell when he does something bad.
My son is ADHD and was diagnosed at 7. I did tons of research and reading before doing anything about it. He's now 9 years old, not medicated and in the 3rd grade. He does pretty good in school, sits in the front of the class and away from the windows. He's learned to stay quiet and focus in school.
Hope this helps. Best wishes to your friend!

Answer 8

My youngest son was 6 years old when he was diagnosed with ADHD. We tried EVERYTHING before putting him on medicine. My son is on a medicine that is time released throughout the day. It does not stay in his system. I will let you know that in the evening when the medicine starts wearing off the kids will be a little moody. Also, teach him responsibility. This has been a big issue for my son. He is now 8. Work with school as well. You can develop and IEP (Individual Education Plan) under the American's with Disabilities Act. My school does not test until 3rd grade (my son is in 2nd) or if there are major grade problems. My son's grades are just fine. It's his work habits that are affected. He sometimes just zones out and stares into space. This is normal ADHD behavior. He has problems "staying on task". Also, do not label him ADHD. Yes he has ADHD but that is not who he is and he should still face some consequences for his actions. Otherwise they start using ADHD as an excuse for EVERYTHING!

Answer 9

To be honest it is us the adult that need to learn to cope with the child. I have recently come to that understanding with my son. I was fussing at him for something he got into and he looked at me with this sad face and said I don't know what is wrong with me? Tell you what.. I felt like dying. That was the most awful feeling I have ever had. These poor children can not help how they act and it is just patience we need to learn with them. My son is 5 yr old and ADHD and on 10 mg of Focalin XR. I can tell when they have had something sweet at school like fruit cocktail... that will drive my son wild. I give him snacks the Sunkist fruit strings and nuggets.. find they do not have much affect on him. Also the medicine will most likely make her son not want to eat and when it wears off he will ask for food every chance he can. My son will eat from 3:30 to 8 if I let him.. but then again he is only 44 lbs and needs to gain some weight. I find that him playing a sport like soccer has helped him also. If she has her son on Adderall I found that it did work on my son.. but also made him extremely moody. He would whine alot while on that one. FocalinXR has been pretty good so far. I hate having to give him medicine, but know that this will help him excel in school and that means alot to him. Good luck and hope all works out for your friend and her son.

Answer 10

he needs to be taken off the meds. those tablets turn kids into zombies and are not good for kids. ADHD is a J O K E! it is not a real condition, it is an excuse for the doctors and the schools to get more money. and an excuse for the parents not to discipline their kids. "ADHD" kids need firm discipline and that is all. teachers and doctor just label kids and do not care. good parenting will solve all the "problems" that "ADHD" kids have. the kids need to learn when it is time to play, and when it is time to listen. they can control their energy if they are taught right.

Answer 11

The Meds might help, but at what harm to the child? My daughter has been on them for years. We only use it during the school year. Putting them in active sports... soccer, gymnastics... activities that make them use a lot of physical energy helped. Giving him something to do that uses that helps them, instead of drugging them. Have him start by helping with chores, vacuuming, taking clean clothes to each room. I use my 5 yr. old for stuff like that, and try to make it fun for him. when he helps me clean house, he gets to keep all the loose change he finds, sometimes I drop a few quarters where he can find them. I also found out that he is a good duster too. Good Luck. A day at the Park never hurt either.