My godson's mother has some serious self esteem issues. She constantly calls me, complaining about the guy she is currently sleeping with. She complains about how he does not help her financially and how she has really gone down since she has been dating him,yet and still she stays with him.
Yesterday I asked her if she has issues with being alone and she said no. I couldn't believe this. Anyone who is in an unhappy relationship, but stays just so that won't be alone obviously has some alone issues. Why can't she see that? I get tired of her complaining, yet not doing anything to improve her situation. She says she gets so depressed sometimes that she just sits in a dark room and doesn't even go to work. I told her that this behavior is not normal at all and that I will continue to pray for her. To make matters worst she is pregnant from this no good guy who already has 7 kids. How do I get her to see that she seriously needs some help with her self esteem issue?
2007-03-28 01:27:09 · 11 answers · asked by joyce 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You don't see it when it's you...
Only if something drastic should happen between her and this guy, will she realise that this is not a good relationship to be in.
Her issues with being alone are obviously connected to a previous experience, whether it be a past relationship or something which happened while she was growing up.
As her friend, you can only do so much. You cannot MAKE her do anything. She will only deal with her issues once she has realised that she actually has issues.
When you pray for her, pray the God will open her eyes to this so that she might find a way to make life better - not just for her, but for her son, as well as for her unborn baby.
2007-03-28 01:46:41 · answer #1 · answered by leila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praying is a waste of time. Your friend is certainly having some issues, but most people do. The pregnancy sure does complicate things. Perhaps she should really get an abortion if she's not sure she likes the guy. If you're that unhappy in a relationship, you're going to make a child go through helll.
It sounds like she might need a counselor or something to work with her.
This isn't really a religious question.
2007-03-28 08:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by nondescript 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are things that she obviously likes about the relationship. I am not sure she is in it just because she cannot live alone. I have run into women who make every-ones lives miserable, but will not admit that they are miserable.
They are judgmental, but not unhappy. They complain about everything that everybody does. You would probably be shocked over what she says about you when you are not around.
You have done all you can, just keep occasional contact and encourage her as much as you can. If your voice begins to sound like a hollow drum to you, then you can bet it does to her.
grace2u
2007-03-28 08:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by Theophilus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From your post, it appears you have not visited them to see things first hand. You are not obliged to do that, but then you are not obliged to jump to conclusions either. Is it possible that your friend has not painted an accurate picture to you, or perhaps that you misunderstood her? Either way, your attitude may in fact worsen their situation.
So, first: intervene only when she has explicitly requested your help. Simply complaining may not mean that she needs your help. It is easy to encroach on someone's freedom in an attempt to help. Then remember that correct prayer entails you doing the right thing at the right time. You may not be able to know the right thing to do from your friend's calls, and then don't forget about YOU (not any one else) doing it. Otherwise, you may as well start praying for daily rainfall at the desert.
2007-03-28 09:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by RAFIU 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One approach I would not take is the tell her "You've got low self-esteem issues." People with low self-esteem probably don't need to have that added to the problems.
What does she do well? What are her good qualities? Talk to her about those. Congratulate her on her accomplishments. Build her up.
2007-03-28 08:32:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When we live on the edge of society in the shadow of the silent majorities, all that is necessary IS to paint, drink fine red wine suckled from roman vines, and ponder the alienating consequences of oppressive transparency.
2007-03-28 08:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about some tough love?
Why don't you tell her that you don't want to hear her complain about her boyfriend anymore? Either do something about it, or else shut up.
I think that she is using you as a crutch, and you are enabling her bad behavior to some extent.
2007-03-28 08:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is currently emotionally and situationally unfit to be a mother. Stop your praying and take some action.
2007-03-28 08:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
help her be aware of her own thoughts so she can be aware of them and possible manipulate them so that she can grow... help her see the positive in the negative. just smile. Smiling does wonders.
2007-03-28 08:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by Invisible_Flags 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has preferred for herself a sub human life, how can any one help her?
2007-03-28 12:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋